Shelly Thieme:

“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” (Fred Rogers)

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People talk about him behind his back in the kindest way. That’s what I knew about Todd Metzger before 2019. My good friends, Ann and Gerry Hepp, for instance would always say when his name came up, “Shelly, you need to meet him. He’s such a good guy!” Other folks I respected did the same. Take Claudine Kreiner, for instance, whose awesome son has been getting tennis lessons from this guy for a while. She’s expressed to me her deep gratitude for his patience with young Mr. Kreiner. So, by transference, this man I only knew as “Wyatt’s dad”, was dubbed in my head as a solid human. His reputation precedes him.

This summer, my son Drew went to work for the father of his good buddy, Wyatt Metzger. Todd has been generous in his employment of hard working high school kids for as long as I have known his name. I had only a vague awareness about him, having never met him myself. Drew started coming home with a few stories about Mr. Metzger, most of which made me grin. Then, Todd invited our entire family to his place for the 4th of July. This was a blessing to us, as we were all very much missing our annual 4th celebration in Michigan which wasn’t to be this year. Spending the evening with some (mostly) new and a few old friends too was such a generous gesture on Todd and his wife Teri’s part. We had a great time!

Then, came tennis season. Todd Metzger did a LOT of helping out a big group of boys with varying skill sets this fall. I watched him donate his expertise and his time. Patient, competitive and articulate, Todd is an encourager of young men. For instance, when my son, Zach, struggled one match to put the ball away, Coach Sciaudone noticed the deficiency and put Coach Metzger on the job. The very next practice, Todd spent considerable time teaching Zach to do something he’d never previously learned– how to hit an overhead. Zach was excited when he got home, feeling like he really had improved that day. He picked it up quickly because Todd is an excellent communicator with a bright smile, and he was patient. Does Z still need to work on it? Yes! However, someone like Todd who takes the time to help someone improve is my favorite kind of coach.

I am now officially a member of the Todd Metzger fan club. He’s a supportive dad of his boys, a job he and his beautiful wife Teri have done pretty fantastically. They are integrity filled young men because, in part, their father is a wonderful example of the same. Todd’s a human who helps others in a variety of ways… just because it’s the right thing to do. He’s a helper I’m proud to know! Thanks for welcoming my sons into your life, and for being such a good example of kindness to those around you, Todd. We’re all better for knowing you! So, today, I’m giving a shout out to my new friend, Todd Metzger. He’s a giant scoop of awesome sauce!

The lovliest masterpiece of the heart of God is the love of a mother. (St. Therese of Lisieux)

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This time of the year, we celebrate so many of my favorite saint feast days. This week in particular there are multiple great ones, including the feast of St. Therese of Lisieux. She’s famous for her “little way” which is a model for us all in our everyday lives. As I noticed tomorrow is the birthday of one of the most lovely women of God I know, thinking of Michelle Welsh has me contemplating what a great contemporary example she is of this concept.

Michelle seeks holiness in the ordinary and everyday, like St. Therese, who used every small opportunity that presented itself as a ways to manifest her love to God and others. Therese didn’t care if she was assigned to be a sacristan in the convent or they put her in charge of the laundry, or asked her to write plays to entertain her fellow nuns. She tried to show her love to all people no matter how easy to get along with or difficult. It sounds so routine and ordinary, but it was based on a loving commitment to God. This is how I have always seen Michelle Welsh.

Michelle is a plain spoken, sunny and faith-filled mother to Sam, Riley, Megan, Nina and Ellery as well as the wife to a phenomenal man named Chris. She goes out of her way to be friendly and thoughtful…and she’s generous with her time and talent at her parish of St. Louis de Montfort in Fishers. I’ve noticed her supportive and loving way of interacting with her children over the years. It’s beautiful and filled with light and humor too! Also? She’s a Boilermaker fan who seeks out other folks who bleed black and gold when she can’t use her basketball tickets, and I am a BIG FAN of that, ha?!

Helpful to others, Michelle goes out of her way to make a difference. Her children have watched the way she chooses to interact in the world and they are respectful, faithful and kind like JUST LIKE HER as a result. Articulate and hard-working, Michelle seems to live out her days in a grateful way, because when I have been around her, she allows love and positivity to be the statement she makes about herself and what she’s doing with her day.

As Michelle Welsh celebrates her (50th, I think?) birthday tomorrow (10/4), I just wanted to give this beautiful momma with the lovely soul a little shout out and let her know that her example of goodness motivates me to work toward the same with my life! THANKS MICHELLE, AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Passion is your life juice, and without it, expect a very bland existence indeed. -Myrza Sison

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Today, the Guerin Catholic Tennis team played in the first round of IHSAA Boys Tennis Sectionals at Carmel High School. It was the first such event for the Thieme family and it had me looking around during the warm-ups at all the great young men and terrific families we have gotten to know through Zach’s participation in this sport during his freshman year at GC. One of those families is the Harrington clan.

Passionate is how Z first described his teammate Ty Harrington. He’s a talented, athletic and experienced tennis player– a hard-hitting sophomore for the Golden Eagles. Like Zach, he’s the “baby” of his family. He has two talented and integrity-filled older sisters, and he’s the son of Stacey and Pete Harrington. When the preseason practices had just begun, our kiddo was just not sure if he was going to feel comfortable with this new group. He’s a freshman and really who is lower on the social pecking order of life than a high school freshman boy? Right? He felt awkward. However, I told him, “Give the guys a chance. I’m confident you’ll make new friends.”

Then, we started noticing he seemed to be laughing and joking with Ty Harrington as he walked out of practices. Ty is full up to his eyeballs with personality!

Here’s the thing. A talented kid like Ty absolutely did not have to choose to be welcoming to Zach Thieme. He didn’t have to smile in his direction or break out his grin and “smartassery”. I shared with Stacey and Pete that in my opinion, Ty was the one that made the initial difference for Z on the GC tennis team. You don’t joke around with people you dislike, after all. Being from a family of sarcasm savants, Z spoke that language and began to feel more comfortable. It’s absolutely true Ty’s a competitive kid with a little bit of a passionate edge on the court, but also…Ty is a handsome young man of character who chose to be welcoming to the new guy. Welcoming the stranger is one of my most favorite qualities in humans. I hate to break it to him, but that sort of behavior is likely to label Ty in my eyes as (perilously near) being the face of Christ to others. Ha? I am not sure he’ll like it but I am two thumbs up on this kid.

Ty joked with me before the first home GC football game about how the older kids were going to have a blast “hazing” the freshmen in the student section that night. He had a great twinkle in his eyes that spoke to me, I’ll admit. He’s a harmless prankster with fantastic hair a good heart. I have a special fondness for cheeky smart-alecks. Ty is a little saucy, but in the best possible way. You can’t coach personality, one just has to be born with it.

Today, I just wanted to congratulate Ty on the sectional win at #1 doubles and wish him a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We hope you were celebrated in a big way today as your life is certainly one worth celebrating, kid! We love your gorgeous smile and your orneriness too! Ty, the GC tennis team would definitely not have the same flavor without you on it. Thanks for being welcoming to the new guy. We saw that. Well done young man!

Remember that nothing is small in the eyes of God. Do all that you do with love. (St. Therese of Lisieux— whose feast is celebrated today!)

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A thoughtful message came through my phone this morning from my friend, Kendra Buehler wishing me a happy anniversary. I had forgotten that Kendra and her husband, Leo, were married on the very same day as we were…25 years ago today! Happy Anniversary, Buehlers!! I find it fitting that today my husband will be out on the golf course just like he was the day we got married! That was his version of the bachelor party. It was perfect! It was warm and sunny that October 1st in 1994, just as it is today. My guy is just as handsome now as he was then.

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We met when we were sophomores in high school. I was 15, and Tom was 16. Our mutual friend, Kathy McDonald (Siegmann) was responsible for the set up. I remember saying, “Well, he’s tall, so that works.” Haha! The depth displayed in my discernment sounds about right to all who know me? Our first “date” if one can call it that, was a bus trip to Westfield High School to watch our Central Catholic Knights football team take on the Rocks. I don’t have any idea who won the game. I was drawn to this soft-spoken, handsome young man with the winning smile who was full of sarcastic giftedness. I still am. He’s been my date for every dance, prom, wedding, or other event since.

We’ve done everything from make apple dumplings for the Feast of the Hunter’s Moon together at age 16 to mourning the loss of Tom’s mom just a little too soon. We had a perfect beautiful baby boy in 1997 who we named Nicholas Frederick after Tom’s grandfather. Nick brought with him to this planet joy I had never known before and made us parents together. It’s a co-parenting partnership that works. He was followed shortly thereafter by a little preemie we named Andrew James after my dad. For those of you who have been following along on our little love story over the years, little “Drewbie” ironically turned into a very large human who now stands 6’5 and practices against the women’s basketball team at Purdue to help them out. My point is, our little preemie with all the fancy buzzing equipment…well…he got his surgery at Riley Hospital and then he became healthy and big. Then, when “oops” seemed like an inappropriate name choice for our third son who was born on Memorial Day weekend in 2004, we named him Zachary Charles for our dear family friend, Chuck Stumpf. Z’s the one who keeps us young. Our family would not have been the same without him or all his “Lightening McQueen” cars or sweet smile. Without question, the fact that our three boys genuinely love one another is among our greatest shared joys.

Things are not always perfect over here, just like your house, ha? We’ve both had moments and exhibited behavior we’d really rather forget. Here’s the thing. The little things are not small things at all. They are what make and break marriages. When it rains and Tom pulls me up to the door before he parks the car? That’s love. When he always carries in the heaviest items and does all the yard mowing? That’s love. When he lugs the trash cans down the hill on icy days so I won’t fall? That’s love. When he lets me warm up my frozen toes by snuggling up next to him with the ice cubes I have for feet? That’s love. When he tells me I am making a fool of myself yelling courtside at teenagers? That’s the most annoying kind of love.

Many years back I had gall bladder surgery. Three days later, I was in more pain than I had ever experienced and Tom took me to the emergency room. The docs were baffled, and Tom was certain I was suffering some complication due to that surgery, though initially the ER docs disagreed. I was in excruciating pain and pumped so full of pain meds that I lost the memory of that night. I recall waking up the next day being told I had surgery to correct an earlier surgical problem– bile had been seeping into my abdomen. There was a drain coming out my side that I am not at all certain would have ever been placed there had Tom not taken charge and INSISTED they go take a look…which they did at something like 3am in an emergency surgery. I was septic, and his google search and attentiveness is what I credit with saving my life that day. He’s been similarly present for something like 14 kidney stones and 5 surgeries to “free the rocks”. This winter when they found a tumor in my lung and things looked pretty scary, he went to mass with me and he walked around the block with me and held my hand and told me we were going to be okay. He was right.

Tom’s incredibly intelligent, pragmatic, and hard-working. I am so proud of what he has done with his life professionally at Somerset CPAs. Provider stress has to take its toll, but Tom Thieme has done a phenomenal job taking care of our family over these 25 years. He’s fidgety. It’s a quality he inherited from his dad. He can’t sit still for long, so when we vacation he doesn’t have the same poolside/ocean front staying power as yours truly. He’s got to GO DO SOMETHING. On the other hand, I can sit and read a book while listening to the waves…for days. He understands, and keeps moving the umbrella so I’m in the shade. Sometimes, he leaves me there for a few hours and plays a round of golf. I’m sure to get a text, “Hey, I’m back. Before I come down to join you…do you need me to bring you anything?” That’s love.

Supportive and passionate about sports, Tom always shows up for the kids events. He’s the one who remembers the game time and has checked the satellite view to see that the baseball field is on the southeast part of the park, or there is a back entrance next to the tennis courts. He’s a grillmaster and when he has time, the most gifted cook in the family for sure! He’s a frustrated Boilermaker fan, a passion we share. He loves my family and always welcomes them to our home, even if he has been caught purchasing cheap “mother-in-law wine” for my mom! He’s attentive to details that I often don’t notice at all. Each of us has strengths where the other has a weakness.

We are not perfect, but the Lord knew what He was doing when He paired us up. I think back 25 years ago to that wedding mass at St. Lawrence Catholic Church on the north side of Lafayette, and I feel some nostalgia today. Mostly, though, I feel gratefulness for the beautiful life we have built together.

I love you, Tom. Happy 25th Anniversary.

Teachers affect eternity; no one can tell where their influence stops. (Henry Brooks Adams)

My oldest son is a college senior this year. He’s a happy, (relatively, ha?) well-adjusted Finance major at Xavier University in Cincinnati. Even though we all worry about our kids, no matter the age, the fact is that there is some corporation, bank, or other organization out there who will undoubtedly find this hard-working gem I call my son. I have some friends who joke with me about the fact that we are all pretty sure our kids are going to live in our basements forever. The truth is, Nick Thieme is ready to fly. He hasn’t found his job yet, but he will because a sharp kid with a strong work ethic is always going to land on his feet. It’s the very fact that I am using words like “career” and “corporate” in the same sentence as my baby that has me a little rattled, frankly. How can this child of mine be about to embark on the real world? It’s impossible to think that he’s 22 years old. It seems like 5 minutes ago he was in Nicholle Wewora’s first grade class at St. Louis de Montfort!

Nicholle Wewora is now Nicholle Smith. She’s got two incredibly adorable children and a handsome husband named Marc. I haven’t seen her in person in many years, but I do keep an eye on her through social media and sometimes I get updates from a few of her old colleagues. Because my mother was a teacher, I know how much hard work it is to do that job. However, the best thing about being a teacher, in my opinion, is that it matters. The influence of a great teacher like Nicholle can never be erased.

Is Nicholle Smith even in a classroom anymore? I don’t even know. However, I do know this. When my bright little squirrel was a first grader, he could not stay focused. She was a very young teacher and she called me one day to say he wasn’t finishing his work, and she suspected it wasn’t because he couldn’t do it, but because he just lost interest halfway through. I laughed and talked about how he was probably counting ceiling tiles or looking out the window, and I told her I would try and talk to him. She said, “No, I have an idea. I just want to get your permission first to try it.”

She went on to explain how she and Nick had bonded over their mutual love of the Purdue Boilermakers and that she’d learned he was a competitive, sports-loving boy. She didn’t want to stress him out, but she wondered if making a little competition out of the work might be tried. I agreed. So, it was then that Nick began trying to beat Miss Wewora’s timer. He got great joy out of telling me how fast he was with his math facts, for instance, saying things like “I set an all time record getting math facts done today, Mom! I cut 4 seconds off my time!!”

Now, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that this young man is still a procrastinator sometimes… but he always hits the deadline with good work. Here’s the thing. After first grade, he never needed that timer. He learned how to focus better in school and his grades have always been excellent. You see, he got off to a good start with a spunky, creative, energetic teacher who used her giftedness and sunshine to influence a young man in a way that stuck. I believe Nicholle to be the kind of person who always lights the way for others. I strongly suspect that she continues to patiently nurture the young people in her life to this day.

As my oldest finishes his “school years” this year, his old teacher, Nicholle (Wewora) Smith is on my mind today. I’m feeling thankful to her for the articulate, helpful, and kind human being she has been to SO MANY young people over the years including to my two oldest sons. Certainly, she made a positive impact the Thieme family. As the daughter of a teacher, I know circling back years later to say THANK YOU is definitely not too late. You were a gem right out of the box, Nicholle. The world is a much better place for your positivity and fantastic influence on others. I may be a day late with the birthday love, but I do believe in the festival approach to such celebrations anyway! IT’S STILL YOUR BIRTHDAY WEEK SO… HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NICHOLLE!!

P.S. Also, Nicholle? You were good with photos even way back when! I spotted a CD you made of that class 16 years ago not so long ago and it was filled with beautiful smiles you wanted to share with us parents. The images warmed my heart even more these many years later. Thanks for being a giant scoop of awesome!

She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction on her tongue. (Prov. 31:26)

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Mary Lou Fischer is a woman who knows trusting in God to counsel and guide us is the best path. She shared with me from time to time when I would run into her about her quiet joyfulness by explaining that she reflects often about the blessings of her life. She’s a wise woman whose time alone with the Lord seems to have graced her with the sweet peace of God.

I met Mary Lou almost 20 years ago when we went to get our middle son baptized at St. Louis de Montfort Catholic Church in Fishers. We were brand new parishioners at SLDM with a newborn who had special health concerns at the time. It’s easy to forget those early struggles when one looks at my very large 6’5 inch Boilermaker today! She said, “no problem” and she came to the house and cheerfully prepared us for the process. This woman spent many years being a jack of all trades for SLDM. She helped with weddings and funerals, loved up students at the school, and kept the religious education program running smoothly, among other duties as a pastoral associate for the parish. She taught protocol classes before the program went online. I honestly feel like there is probably no ministry on campus at SLDM that she was not involved in at one time or another. Mary Lou was a fixture at the parish with an impressive work ethic and a positive attitude. Her influence and gentle spirit made her the face of Christ to all she encountered.

She has suffered tragedies and set backs, like all of us do eventually in this crazy life, and she has met them with courage and eyes of faith. As a mother and grandmother, she is supportive and loving beyond words. I always enjoyed watching her interact with others because of the grace-filled words and quiet optimism she never failed to share. She is especially gifted with children.

When Mary Lou retired, I failed to reach out and thank her properly for her incredible service to the parish and to our family specifically. It’s a regret I’m attempting to rectify today. Mary Lou, thank you for your example of faith and for setting high standards for those around you. I’m grateful for all the beautiful smiles and warm hugs as well as the wisdom and prayers. Thank you for being someone who always taught me by your example to trust in providence and rest in the peace of Christ. Because of you, many of us learned an important lesson– that we should be grateful no matter what! May the blessings of the Lord always be abundantly present for you, Mary Lou! Hugs from the Thieme family…and say hello to Wes from us!!

Nothing is more beautiful than a woman who is brave, strong and emboldened because of who Christ is in her.

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We need more goodness, more virtue, more women of faith. We need more kindness, tenderness and genuine concern for purity. We need more pretty hearts and beautiful souls. We need more women like Meg Ryder.

Meg is the wife to a top shelf guy named Tom and the mother to a talented and soft-hearted daughter named Faith. Tom and Meg are pictured above. She comes from a large and loving family full up to their eyeballs with love of the Lord. She’s lived a very blessed life, and she knows her belovedness. These gifts, she shares generously with others.

I met Meg several years ago when we attended a Christ Renews His Parish retreat at St. Louis de Montfort. Her goodness shined like sunbeams then as now. She was impossible to miss. I admire Meg because of how she has risen above the storms that life brings us all. She is one of the women who taught me by her witness that all of us may have areas of brokenness but God still chooses us and uses us to bring others to Him.

Meg is funny and beautiful. Her smile is as genuine as her character and integrity. She’s an incredibly affirming person. It’s no surprise then that her daughter shares many of these same qualities. I ran into Meg today at the SLDM fall fest. Her warmth and her big bear hug made my day and I decided I was LONG OVERDUE to tell her how special she is to me and many others! Thank you, Meg, for being a light for others. Your optimism and your faith make the world a better place every single day!

A year ago or so, I went in for my annual physical. Grossly overweight and with health issues getting worse by the day, I was, quite candidly a hot mess. An excellent doctor like Joe Martin whose comforting and reassuring words are sometimes far more powerful than any medicine ever could be, he was in good form that morning. As gently and compassionately as a human could ever speak truth is what Dr. Joe Martin did for me that day.

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A very faithful Catholic man, Joe is a gloriously kind and compassionate person. If ever there has been a man that I would compare to how I personally picture the Our Blessed Mother, at least temperamentally, it would be this guy. He explained in his soft-spoken way, that no matter what comes next, he will work to help me be as healthy as I can be. Only because I have a rare gem like this man as my doctor was I able to hear the love of Christ in his urging to make a radical decision to lose the weight. It wasn’t something I didn’t already know, of course. There was simply something beyond truth telling going on in our conversation. I didn’t make an immediate move, but I sat with his words for quite a long time. I took them with me to prayer.

“In order to be a good doctor, a man must also have a good character. Whatever weaknesses and foibles he may have, he must love his fellow human being in the concrete and desire their good before his own.” WH Auden

Earlier this week, I returned to see Dr. Martin. Having heeded his advice, but certainly with more work to do, I was nearly 90lbs lighter and not only in body, but in spirit too. His authentic praise for the turnaround in my health was so effusive that I found it almost embarrassing. We talked quite a while about our faith and trust in the Lord and the importance of spending time with Jesus in eucharistic adoration. He told me he wants me to be the woman God has called me to be. I mean, who has a doctor like this? I’ll tell you who– only the truly blessed. Articulate, professional, compassionate and caring are the adjectives that come to mind when I think of this doctor. He’s incredibly bright, but you don’t have to be brilliant to be an excellent doctor. I’ll take a kind truth-teller who loves the Lord every day of the week, even if there might be some doc out there more innovative or with more experience…or whatever. I know I’m not alone on this one, because there is most certainly a reason why this man is not taking new patients. He’s a grace-filled and gifted doctor.

Dr. Joseph Martin, the way you live your professional life leaves me doubting not even for a moment about the sort of husband, father (of 4) and friend you must be to those who are closest to you. Those folks are incredibly blessed to have you in their lives. I am grateful to them for sharing you with those of us who come in to your office every day and soak up so much of your time and energy. You are a bright light with a beautiful, caring smile who never makes me feel like you are in a rush to get to the next patient. In you, I have certainly experienced the love of Christ. Thank you so very much for what you do each day! YOU ARE A GEM!