May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord will be with all of you. (2 Thessalonians 3:16)
Today is the birthday of a beautiful fellow Guerin Catholic mom. She’s pictured above (far right) with her husband and her five gorgeous kiddos! Her oldest son, Matt, who is sitting just in front of her in this terrific family photo, played basketball with my middle son Drew and that is how I first met her. What is it with me? It’s always a smelly gym, ha?!! Matt just graduated from GC, and in a few weeks he will be headed off to my hometown to become a BOILERMAKER! Good choice, kid!
Here’s the thing. This is Andrea’s first child to head off to the next adventure, and I know from experience that it’s a tough hill to climb for loving and involved moms like Andrea. That’s why I chose the scripture quote above to honor her on her birthday, because I’d bet about now she could use an extra large scoop of calmness in her heart. My special prayer for her today was to ask Jesus for exactly that!
I’ve watched this caring and kind soul from a distance over a few years and I’ve noticed that she’s always willing to pitch in, she has a genuine smile, and she’s both sunny, humorous and faith-filled. We have several mutual friends, and when I’ve inquired about Andrea, what they always say is the same. They use slightly different words, like considerate, courteous, understanding and good-hearted…but they all boil down to one common denominator. She’s just plain KIND.
The world is crying out for kindness, and there sits Andrea, bringing the sunshine for the rest of us. Today, I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to a terrific gal that I truly hope I will get to know a bit better!! THANK YOU, Andrea Parenteau, for being a light for those around you. BOILER UP!!
Above, on the left, is my former CRHP sister, Nicole Hanna. I met her at St. Louis de Montfort Catholic Church in Fishers, Indiana. Nicole is pictured here with her daughter, Maggie, who apparently isn’t super easy to get to bed? She is also the mom to three handsome boys and the wife of Chad. Several years ago, Nicole left her suburban home in Fishers and moved to the farm. The Hanna family now lives on a beautiful piece of property near Shirley, Indiana (I think). It was a bold move taking on such a drastic lifestyle change, but I have to say it seems to suit her. She’s now a grade school teacher, and I’d bet a very exceptional one. I keep up with my old friend mostly through social media, and since she’s an old soul who speaks my love language, following her is one of my best kept secrets to keeping my priorities straight and my mental health in check.
Nicole is faith-filled woman with a huge heart, a native of Lansing, Michigan and a BIG Michigan State Spartans fan! I’m a diehard Boilermaker who grew up in Purdue’s backyard, so I utterly identify with her passion, even if we disagree on which BIG TEN team is superior. She posts pictures of homemade pies that are so beautiful I swear I can smell the sweet goodness through my iPhone, and even more glorious shots of sunsets that make me want to move to the wide open spaces too!
Sensitive, loving, thoughtful and silly are words I would choose to describe Nicole. She is also incredibly beautiful. What makes her phenomenal to me is the way she can spin words in such a way that my heart is expanded and inspired. The number of times I have taken a screen shot of one of her Instagram posts is sort of embarrassing. Instead of trying to poorly explain why, I’d rather just have you read her words from today. They accompanied the poem I posted at the top of today’s entry.
“When I was in third grade, I had to memorize this poem and recite it. Moreover, I also had to understand what it meant, which made me learn about Langston Hughes, which made me learn about his historical significance, which made me want to know more. This poem made me fall in love…with words, with writing, with language, with ways we communicate, and with reading. This didn’t happen all at once. After all, I was only 9. But 30 years later, it has stuck with me. It’s these little things, that may seem insignificant but they are life changing. The seeds will grow and bloom and bring life to our lives. I’m hoping that I can plant some seeds- in my own children and in my school children. That’s my goal. That’s my dream.”
Well, Mrs. Hanna, let me tell you a little something. Your honest and sometimes utterly raw sharing has planted some seeds and brought some life in places you may never even know– including in the heart of a grown woman you once knew back in Hamilton County. You are special beyond what I can express, Nicole. THANK YOU for the gift of your sharing, your love of words, and your unimaginably glorious heart! Keep on keeping on, sister! Those four children of yours, and the ones that are blessed to land in your classroom? Well, they are beyond lucky.
You belong to God, children….for the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)
Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide. –D.W. Winnicott
Imaginative, graceful and intelligent are the first three words that come to mind when I think of my next door neighbor, Carolyn Martens. This week, she and her husband Rob are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, which means they were married the very same year as we were! Carolyn is the mother of three– two daughters and a son– who are all incredibly bright and talented not unlike their mother.
I’ll be completely candid. Although I greatly admire Carolyn for many reasons I will attempt to share today, I don’t know her as well as I should. Considering she literally lives NEXT DOOR, I’ve done a poor job of taking the time to connect properly. Friends are what make our lives really sparkle and shine, and this is a gal I definitely need to dig a little deeper to discover.
That said, Carolyn and I were in a book club for several months together and I learned a bit about her during that time. She’s a Colorado native who moved to Chapel Hill, NC where she was an athlete for the North Carolina Tarheels. As you can see from the photo above, she’s stunningly beautiful. What makes it worse for sweaty “morning walk Shelly” is that she’s just as lovely with her t-shirt on and her hair in a messy bun while she putters with her flowers in the front yard.
Yesterday, I was literally thinking to myself that I can’t even tame my “Guns-N-Roses” morning hair explosion with a baseball cap and a pair of oversized sunglasses and there she is looking just frustratingly picturesque. Maybe we’d be better friends if she would put on a dorky looking pair of tennis shoes to make me feel better, ha? Despite her gorgeous good looks, it’s hard to dislike Carolyn because she is just a truly kind and happy person. In fact, as I was interiorly disparaging her for being so naturally adorable while I gasped for air after my walk, she texted me offering to be my walking buddy during the day if I ever wanted company. Lovely, right?
Carolyn is an educated, independent and extremely well-read woman. She’s also an unbelievably talented artist. Her work has been featured in so many impressive venues and galleries across the country that it makes my head spin the more I learn! She’s been honored as an artist many times, including as I recall as winner of the Hoosier Women’s Artist competition. Many of her works have been auctioned off for worthwhile and deserving charities during the time I have known her. I “saved” one once that was drying in her backyard when unexpected very dark clouds were about to unleash on it. That was the day I decided I needed to “google her” because OH MY GOODNESS is she talented. You can learn more about her art by checking her Facebook page, Carolyn Martens Art.
The reason I decided to write about Carolyn today is because I find her intriguing. She’s curious, involved, grateful and true to herself. She’s optimistic…and has a gorgeous smile that she freely shares with others! Those qualities are all independently terrific, but rarely are they spotted in combination in just one human being. During a time when the world sometimes seems dark and unfriendly, my neighbor Carolyn manages to be a beautiful mother and an authentically kind-hearted woman. Thanks for inspiring me by your awesomeness, Carolyn. Let’s take that walk soon, friend!
Intense love does not measure, it just gives. –St. (Mother) Teresa of Calcutta
Thus far, I’ve been spending my summer mostly trying to squeeze in long walks between rain storms and my duties as an “Uber Black” driver for my youngest son, Zach. Schlepping him to and from practices, lessons and workouts for basketball, golf, and tennis keeps me up to date on today’s country music scene too, as my 15 year old “DJ” runs through his favorites on Spotify. He’s a fun kiddo to talk to and be around, though, so I am not complaining.
This afternoon after his workout at St. Maria Goretti with the “Shot Doc”, a beautiful face I hadn’t seen for a while popped into the gym with her youngest daughter, Zoey. Kris Bussick and her sweet girl were a sight for sore eyes, because the golf courses and gyms I spend most my time visiting are relatively low on estrogen. Whether she wanted a hug or not, I forced one on her, at which time she humored me with a beautiful smile then promptly pointed out what I have been thinking since school ended. “These kids are living the good life, aren’t they?”
Kris is pictured above with her charming and friendly husband, Bill, and together they have four children and a new son-in-law. It felt fortuitous to me that I had the chance meeting with Kris today, because my mind has been so full in recent weeks with many spiritual concerns, mostly related to how in the world are we going to spend eternity with God when we just can’t seem to get along down here at all? All the media, social and traditional, seems to be just so incredibly full of anger and divisiveness. It’s heavy on my heart.
Seeing Kris reminded me about love, because she’s the one who taught me about what it means to “Love Foolishly” by her own example. Kris is a generous and utterly faith filled wife, mom, sister and friend who also co-founded The O’Connor House in Carmel. Their mission is to provide a Christian residential home to help struggling single pregnant women improve life for themselves and their children. What she has undertaken with it’s creation is the ultimate example of loving foolishly. They provide food, shelter, clothing, transportation, pre-natal and post-natal nutrition, parenting skills, financial management and so much more! What they offer is compassion, encouragement, hope and healing. If you’d like to know more, visit http://www.theoconnorhouse.org.
Her benevolence and earnest devotion to her Catholic faith are both things that make Kris utterly remarkable to me. She’s thoughtful and grace-filled with a quiet but very real sense of humor, and she’s grateful for what God has done in her life (the good and the challenging both) and those around her. Kris doesn’t seem particularly attached to the attention of others, rather, she seems intent on doing the right thing for the purpose of glorifying the Lord by the way she lives and the choices she makes. She inspires in me a desire to work on that 5th chapter of Matthew a little more.
“But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes the sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.” (Mt. 5: 44-45).
Today, in fact, I read an article from Aleteia.org about how Mother Teresa displayed a certain detachment to the opinions of others when she was alive. For instance, she was once asked about a very unflattering and even vulgar book by Christopher Hitchens that was written about her. She was said to respond, “Oh, the book. It matters not. He is forgiven.” The article went on to say that she saw things in the light of God. That’s very much how I view Kris. She sees things in that same way. How fortunate are all whose lives cross her path!!
Thanks, Kris, for the gift of your genuine and authentic love for Christ and how you share it with all around you. Because I saw you today, I was reminded that God is love and my response to all the challenges of life should be LOVING FOOLISHLY. Period. You, amazing woman, are a treasure!!
Let us reflect gratitude for fathers. Father is ever willing to sacrifice his own comfort for that of his children. Daily he toils to provide the necessities of life, never complaining, ever concerned for the well-being of his family. This love for children, this desire to see them well and happy, is a constant in a time of change. –Thomas Monson
If ever your car has broken down on the side of the road, the guy you need to be hoping will pass by soon is the man pictured above, John Zimmerman. I’m not kidding. He can’t help himself. He’s just a generous everyday hero to his core. This jovial and amiable jack-of-all trades and consummate “good Samaritan” is a father of six grown children (John Ryan, Katie, Michael, Mary, Sarah and Joseph) and the grandfather of an ever growing brood of cuties. He’s pictured here with another stunningly beautiful soul, his wife Tina.
As we inch closer to Father’s Day this weekend, I find myself inspired to celebrate a few of the great men among us! That certainly includes my friend, JZ. I can’t really do him justice in a few paragraphs. He’s just flat out a lover of Christ. Next to the phrase “salt of the earth” is where I think his photo belongs. He’s a man who focuses on the positive and trust me when I tell you that if he is laughing, soon you will be doing the same! His authentic sense of humor as well as his big heart are impossible to miss. That laugh of his is infectious and his smile is like sunshine! I’m sure his life is not without plenty of stress, but you’d never know it from the warm greeting you get from John each time you see him!
I read once that every father should remember one day his child will follow his example rather than his advice. If that’s true, then John’s kids are in excellent shape. Their lives will be filled with faith and fun! This man has served on countless mission trips, he’s coached many young people in youth sports, he’s served his parish, St. Louis de Montfort, in virtually every way conceivable. He’s prayerful, often encouraging others in his path to step up their faith life too. He’s hard-working, uncomplicated, non-judgmental– and filled with joy. He knows imperfections are merely an invitation for God’s grace to go to work in us all.
John is as proud a parent as I know. He loves to watch his family shine! The truth is, he finds great happiness in the successes of everyone around him. He’s a “the more, the merrier” kind of guy. I think John lives a lot like Jesus, if I’m honest. He loves like the Lord wants us to love. He’s an inspiring witness of what fatherhood is meant to look like and a light to all in his path. THANK YOU, JOHN, for being the fact of Christ to so many of us! I hope you enjoy a very HAPPY FATHER’S DAY this weekend!
A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. –Billy Graham
I’m gonna have to say I couldn’t agree more with Billy Graham’s thoughts about good dads. Pictured above with his pretty amazing wife and 5 children is a quiet hero, Doug Stine. As Father’s Day approaches this weekend, I find myself grateful for the courage and strength of many phenomenal men whose love and leadership make all the difference for others. Among those I most admire is this positive, reserved young dad with the quick smile and big heart.
A Missouri native and rabid St. Louis Cardinals fan, Doug Stine married into the O’Malia clan from Carmel, Indiana. He and his new bride, Colleen (O’Malia) Stine settled into their new home in the St. Louis area shortly after their glorious wedding. Unfortunately, it wasn’t many years after that when tragedy struck. His sister-in-law, Shannon, was lost in a terrible act of domestic violence that left two nephews without either parent, as their dad was lost too on that brutal day. What Doug did next is remarkably beautiful to me. He looked at his broken-hearted wife and he left his job, his parents, and his hometown with his then two babies, Ryan and Maddie, and he moved with Colleen back to her hometown back in the Hoosier state. When the entire extended family seemed to agree that the best thing for the boys would be to be taken in and loved up by Doug and Colleen, he and his wife adopted those amazing boys, Connor and Danny, who continued in their familiar school, surrounded by glorious love from family and community. The Stines went on to have one more gorgeous baby, who they named Shannon.
It doesn’t stop there, though. The soft-spoken Stine, who is a financial advisor at RBC Wealth Management, has embraced his big family with aplomb! With seemingly imperturbable self-possession, Doug confidently and kindly holds, lifts, and serves his family. He’s a rock in the middle of the whirlwind. Stine is faith-filled and his fingers are probably sticky from holding someone’s ring pop while they play in the dirt beside big brother’s baseball game as we speak. He wipes away tears of little ones like a boss, and he seems unflappable to the outsider looking in. He has helped coach the baseball teams of both Con, Danny and probably by now Ryan too? Our family has been the lucky recipient of some of Coach Stine’s time, as our Z-man has played on teams with both boys now.
Doug Stine, you are a stunning example of selfless love and deep integrity. The work of your hands might not always seem important to you and the community around you might sometimes be oblivious to your goodness, but there are few gifts more precious than the ones you are offering. The Lord sees you, and so do I! THANK YOU, for your amazing example of what fatherhood should look like when it’s done right. You are so inspiring to me! HAPPY FATHER’S DAY (in advance), DOUG!!
“The Lord your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete.” (Dt. 16:15)
Be friendly first. Service starts with a friendly person with a friendly smile, who offers friendly words first. How friendly are you? –Jeffrey Gitomer
Last night, Tom and I met some of our very favorite people for dinner at a fairly new place in downtown Carmel called Fork + Ale House. It sits neatly just off the Monon Trail a little south of Main Street on Veteran’s Way in a cool little outdoor plaza, flanked by Sun King Brewery. When we arrived, the hostess told us the wait would be an hour and a half, but we were undeterred. The whole plaza was ripe for people watching and laughter, filled with families and friends playing ping-pong, cornhole, and billiards. Those waiting for seats inside at either Sun King or Fork + Ale were having a good time and nearly everyone had a drink in their hands. “No worries, we’ll wait! ” I smiled at the hostess.
After only about 25 minutes, my phone rang and our seats were ready. Tom and I, along with Gerry and Ann were seated outside and were quickly greeted by a sunny waitress named Meagan, who is pictured between us above. She became a fast hit with the 4 of us because the beverages were arriving in quick succession. In fact, it got to be a little comical when she would arrive with a beer or glass of wine just after one had arrived from another member of the wait staff. “Well, you all can drink for me too, I guess! I have a 13 week old at home and I can’t drink yet!” So, some of us did just that! Below is a photo I took of Tom and Ann double-fisting it with Gerry laughing in the background.
Our experience at Fork and Ale was a good one for many reasons, including good food and a solid, casual atmosphere, but the sunny and attentive Meagan put it over the top! She is attentive but also the type of person that doesn’t wait for the other guy to be friendly, she opens with a warm and genuine smile.
As the evening wore on, we learned that Meagan is the mom of two boys, Adontae who is 2 1/2, and her 13 week old, Adonis. Considering the woman cannot be getting appropriate rest with a toddler and a newborn at home, one would never know it from the positive and good-natured attitude she displayed with her customers. She reminded me that open, social and approachable humans really do make all the difference. It’s just a lot more fun to spend an evening out with friends when you land in a great spot and are greeted with graciousness and kind service!
So, THANK YOU, MEAGAN (and Fork and Ale) for a super experience last night. Affable, outgoing, and agreeable people are folks that really do make all the difference for others! You made our double date night out with great friends even more fantastic! We’ll definitely be back…and encouraging our friends to try your place as well.
…And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’ (Matthew 25:40)
Low hanging fruit is what one would call today’s choice for my little column. Ditto for the quote above from the 25th chapter of Matthew’s gospel. I mean, this is the insanely bright and hard working woman who literally spends herself running the Merciful H.E.L.P. Center at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Catholic Church in Carmel, Indiana for goodness sakes! This piece of scriptural goodness is all over the building, out of which more than 20 ministries are operating providing remarkably generous and compassionate care to many thousands of needy folks each year.
Jayne Slaton, who is pictured above with her grandson, is just flat out a stunning human being. She’s the integrity-filled wife, mom and grandmother whose smile lights up the area she inhabits. She’s sassy, outspoken, fierce, and full of the joy of the Lord.
What makes Jayne truly remarkable to me is that every person who I know (that also knows her fairly well) essentially says the same thing when I ask them to tell me more about her. It’s always how she shines the brightest when she discovers a way to help someone else find the sunshine. She’s one of those glittering jewels we run into rarely in life. She’s an encourager who is often heard saying things like, “I know you can do it!” Jayne is a beautiful witness of faith because she knows how to laugh through tears and praise through pain. Her sense humor is phenomenal and her laugh is contagious. That’s only possible, of course, when we know that the Lord will never leave us to weather our storms all alone. The strength of her conviction is spoken loudly in her actions. Jayne absolutely wants the best for others. She’s made it her priority in all aspects of her life– sometimes at great personal cost.
St. Augustine said this, “Love has hands to help others. It has feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has ears to hear the sights and sorrows of men. This is what love looks like.” Simply put, these words remind me of Jayne Slaton. She doesn’t wonder about the worthiness of anyone. She just loves the other guy and… does it better than nearly everyone I know.
Today, I just wanted to take a moment to share a few affirming words with the birthday girl. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAYNE! Thank you for all you do each day for others. Yours is the face of Christ, lovely lady. YOU ARE SO INSPIRING THAT IT BLOWS MY MIND!! I sure hope that very blessed family of yours is loving you up, because yours is certainly a life worth celebrating in a BIG way!!
Faithfulness in little things is a big thing. (St. John Crysostom)
Many years ago when our youngest children (my Zach and her Grace) were not yet in school, Julie Olovich and I got to know each other in the babysitting co-op at SLDM. We had older children enrolled at school and we wanted to help out in the lunchroom, so we were members of this little group of moms who took turns working in the lunchroom, or else being the babysitter for the younger siblings. Julie was soft-spoken, positive and filled with kindness every single time I encountered her.
As our children began to grow, her son Matt played some CYO and then high school baseball with my older boys. I am pretty sure there’s actually a CYO Championship baseball banner hanging in the gym at SLDM because Matt Olovich was a one-man archdiocesan baseball wrecking crew. I think he pitched every game we played that undefeated season, if memory serves. There, always nearby was Julie. She could be heard cheering on the other kids just as loudly as she rooted for Matt.
We were in a book club together too. These amazing ladies are still meeting, I think, though I haven’t seen them for some time. The books were always fantastic and faith related reads that opened our eyes up to the love of Christ. Julie was such a warm and gracious contributor at those events. What I most recall is that she seemed to somehow always land on the fact that we should be so grateful– because the Lord loves us no matter how life is coming along, and regardless of obstacles in our path, or how we might fail, say the wrong thing, or just plain stink it up.
Julie is the wife to Ken and the mom to Matt, Ashley and Grace, with whom she is pictured above at Ashley’s recent college graduation. After all these years of running in similar circle, I don’t think I have ever taken the time to let her know how she always inspires me with her positivity, smile, and most importantly her focus on faithfulness. She’s one of those people that flavors the world with the love of Christ by her stunning example of simply treating others well. When you are speaking to Julie, she is uber gracious, paying attention like you are the only person in the room. It is a small thing that makes all the difference to others around her.
Thank you, Julie, for being a person who has frequently served as a reminder to me that the One who loves us is right by our side always. Yours is the face of Christ to so many!! I am a little late to the festival, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope your birthday yesterday was a terrific one filled with laughter and lots of smiling!
If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. (1Cor 13:3)
Love is what life is really about. This beautiful woman, pictured above left with her husband, Joe, and daughters, Carly and Kristen, is a phenomenal example of someone who gets it. If you don’t already know her, then it’s my great honor to introduce you to Kim Santucci! Over the years, our paths have crossed now and then as we have several mutual friends. That said, I don’t mean to seem like a creeper, but in Kim’s case that’s probably more accurate than not. Her personality is magnetic, so I’ve kept tabs on her over time, watching from a distance mostly.
She’s the perfect combination of saucy, sassy and smart-alecky! It’s not that she’s at all insolent, Kim is simply a wise woman who seems to instinctively understand what is important. She’s articulate, bold and a lover of the Lord. You know, Jesus never said we needed to be bff’s with everyone, what He calls us to do is LOVE everyone. Kim does an exceptional job of genuinely desiring the best for others. She reminds me by her example that it’s doable to love the way God asks.
Difficult situations or trying people truly are challenges that we can choose to see as opportunities. I’ve witnessed a lot of compassion from Kim in the face of such circumstances over the years. For instance, Kim’s (amazing) godson, Will, was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes several years ago. She dug in with Will and his mom, Lisa Oberndorfer to help others facing that same challenge but who have less resources. She serves as COO of Diabetes Will’s Way, which they’ve grown from the ground up…and along the way they have been able to provide grants to well over 100 diabetic young people in need! This is just one small example of how she uses her giftedness to benefit others. (If you’d like to know more about this phenomenal organization, I encourage you to visit http://www.diabeteswillsway.com.)
Her daughters, not surprisingly, are remarkable young women– confident, articulate and shiny. You see, they were raised by a sunny, sparkly mama who didn’t allow life and it’s dreary moments to hijack her thoughts or actions. One learns by example. Just as I watched from nearby as she ministered to friends who were ill or in crisis…or who just needed a smile…so did the girls. Kim smiles, she’s funny, and she’s a merciful and loving woman. Because I think the Lord has an irreplaceable role for us to play with our families and in the world, I am certain that the faithful heart and big, warm heart of Kim Santucci opens up others to His amazing love.
Thank you, Kim, for sprinkling blessings to all in your wake! Like you, I sometimes have volume control issues…ha? Here’s the thing. Your heart is loud too!! You are someone whose example of embracing the gifts God gave you to love up the world around you has always inspired me. I’m long overdue to say so! Much love, Santucci!!
He Never Misses 