Category: Positivity

For many years, there was a growing collection of the most richly colored sea glass at our family vacation spot near Lake Michigan. We shared that old house in South Haven with my in-laws, the whole darn clan! This includes my sister-in-law, Jennie LaReau, as well as her husband Jerome and my phenomenal niece, Katie. It was a sweet tradition the frequent walks Jennie always took with her daughter looking for the pretty sea glass. I’m fairly certain those walks continue to this day when the LaReaus are up in South Haven. It’s just one of the small ways I have seen the Lord working through Jennie as a mom.

To see what kind of mother Jennie is, one need only look at her stunning daughter. Not only is she polite, kind, hard-working and sunny, but Katie is also a young woman of faith. That comes from living in a home with spiritually aware parents, and both Jennie and Jerome are certainly that. They love the Lord. Long engaged as active members of their parish, St. Louis de Montfort are the LaReaus. In fact, they have been members of the choir at the 9:00am Sunday mass for as long as I can recall.

Jennie is a fellow Boilermaker who graduated from the Krannert School of Management. She had a lengthy and successful career in a largely male-dominated organization. She’s also just a stylish and put together woman- she has always been beautiful. I’ve long been a little jealous of how great she looks in that short haircut…it’s very “Audrey Hepburn” to me. Now retired, Jennie has focused a great deal of her time and effort deepening her faith life. It’s a super example to those around her. For instance, from my nearby perch, I notice that in addition to her SLDM pursuits, Jennie’s participating in a Christ-centered book club as well as the “Awaken” program for Catholic women that happens most Wednesdays at St.. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish in Carmel.

I’ve decided to give Jennie a shout out this week because she and Jerome celebrate their wedding anniversary at this time of the year, and they are a couple to whom marriage is so much more than “just a sheet of paper”. It’s clear from their enduring union that theirs is a sacramental marriage in an age where that seems to me be a more rare thing than it once was in this world. I have grown to admire them both as time goes by for their mutual commitment to their vocation.

Jennie, thank you for helping me to understand how important it is to value and understand differences, overlook mistakes, and yield to good sense by watching your example over many years! Happy Anniversary!!

“A successful marriage isn’t the union of two perfect people. It’s that of two imperfect people who have learned the value of forgiveness and grace.” -Darlene Schacht

The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go. (Dodinsky)

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As I sat here at the counter to begin typing my column, my MVP for the day, Tom Thieme, was throwing on his apron to fix dinner. He asked me who I was featuring today, and I when I told him “Jeff Kniola” he said with a twinkle in his eye, “OH! I do NOT like that guy. He’s retired and that is one strike against him immediately!” I just chuckled. I spy the big green envy monster right across the counter from me. However, Tom’s making homemade chicken pot pie for us this evening so I will be refraining from any criticism whatsoever. Also? The jealousy is totally understandable. Jeff is definitely on the young side for retirement, and who among the working folks of this world cannot relate to the awesomeness of managing to pull this off? My sense is that Jeff Kniola is simply a man who has his priorities in line– and it was time to let that phase of his life go so that he could spend more time being the man the Lord has called him to be. I have deep respect for Jeff!

“It appears my sous chef has taken the evening off..” is what I am now hearing in the background. But you see, honey, it’s Jeff’s birthday week and I need a minute to think in full sentences. I’m on day 321 of 365, after all, and I can’t quit now! Just like my handsome chef du jour who is very engaged as a Dad, so is Jeff. He’s the father of a high character son named Carson who certainly learned integrity from both his Dad and his mom, Pat. Jeff and Pat Kniola are pictured above.

As I recall, it was this duo that brought boys volleyball to St. Louis de Montfort Catholic Church in Fishers. They have also contributed in a meaningful way to the same program since it’s inception at Guerin Catholic. I watched that from afar, and have long respected them for their energy and gift of time and talent they offer for the sake of young people. This fall, we had the chance to get to know the Kniola family a bit better. You see, Jeff was an assistant coach for the GCHS boys tennis team on which Zach played this fall. He donated countless hours helping out a large group of boys. He’s enthusiastic and positive when dealing with the athletes– and their parents too! Jesus is most definitely smiling down at His son, Jeff.

Friendly, positive and competitive are three words that come to mind when I think of this retired engineer who is originally from Michigan City, I think. He’s naturally welcoming and is also a man of faith. I enjoyed Jeff’s entertaining and playful sense of humor courtside this fall. His pragmatic nature and the affection he has for his family is obvious. When young people were injured during the course of the season, he was gentle and compassionate. It was fun watching our sons play doubles together a bit as well!

Thoughtful, kind-hearted human beings like Jeff are such an incredible blessing for the impressive difference that their presence makes in the day of those around them. Jeff’s smile is infectious and the joyfulness he exudes is a great witness to those of us in his path. Therefore, this week as Jeff celebrates his birthday, I wanted to acknowledge his awesomeness and offer him a little shout out! Jeff, THANK YOU for reminding me that being happy and shining light into the world is absolutely where it’s at! I HOPE YOU HAVE A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be. -Maya Angelou

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I knew it was going to work out well when we shared a big hug before we even sat down to get acquainted. Today, I met a stranger for coffee. What can I say? I love people and I am big fan of the latte served by the fine folks at Panera. I’m not sure how many cups of coffee a girl needs to buy before they give you one free, but I feel like it should be a thing they do for customers like me who keep suggesting others meet me there! The Friday morning invite came from a fairly unlikely source since I had never previously met or spoken to Kelly Copes-Anderson. Her sweet family is new to the Guerin Catholic community, and I couldn’t resist her email request to meet me. Wow, am I pleased I said yes! She’s an impressive human being.

Kelly is the mother of two boys and the wife of a patent attorney named Arvie. I’m not even going to hold it against them that they are Michigan State Spartans, ha?! I learned quite a lot about this sunny, truly gorgeous woman during our time together. For starters, she’s a native New Yorker who is a marketing director for Eli Lilly. She works in the oncology-breast cancer area, she shared. It was apparent she feels a deep sense of satisfaction about the fact that she is able to help others through the work she does. She’s an impressive and articulate woman, and I feel certain Lilly is fortunate to have her!

Here’s the thing. Kelly sees the blessings in her life, which makes her truly a joyful woman of God. To me, it took me only minutes to spot these as her most defining qualities– her joy and strong faith! I have my youngest son, Zach, to thank for the loveliness of my morning today. You see, Kelly’s son, Bryce, and my kiddo are classmates at Guerin Catholic. Both the boys are on the freshman basketball team, and I think her reaching out was a thoughtful beginning and a super way to start plugging in at the high school for her. I admire her desire to do so, because not everyone takes the time, but as a veteran GC mom, I can tell you the effort has reaped big benefits for our family during the last decade. She’s clearly a very proud and supportive mom! Those are two incredibly blessed sons.

I enjoyed hearing about her older son, Brenton, who is an engineering student at Purdue, and who like my own young Boilermaker lives in a place where a mom does NOT have any desire to use the bathroom (if at all possible). I got a giggle hearing her talk about walking to the West Lafayette library and shared that I tend to prefer the Purdue Student Union over the Pi Kappa Phi fraternity house.

Folks, the facts is, it’s a bit unorthodox and a tad uncomfortable to reach out to a stranger, from a community you’ve just barely begun to understand. Kelly is a joy-filled bridge builder and a positive woman of grace. We can’t learn, or grow, or get clarity without engaging. As uncomplicated as that seems, these days I find it’s much more uncommon than it once was to meet someone who grasps that. Do you know what Kelly? That bravery is THE STUFF I LOVE! Here’s hoping the Lord sprinkles this budding friendship with His special sauce! It truly was a pleasure to meet you.

A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, its the only thing that ever has. -Margaret Mead

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There were these t-shirts created a few years back by my friend Colleen Stine and her company (which at the time was called MamaSaid Tees) and is now called Everykind. The message on the front of the shirt reads “Kind is the New Cool.” INDEED! We could be the wealthiest, most athletic, most talented human in the room, but at the end of the day, how we treat others speaks the loudest about the quality of our character. To me, integrity is the defining quality that makes a person “cool”. By these standards, Sherri Kapsalis is most definitely one cool lady!! She’s pictured (top row, right) with her family.

This mother of three (Katrina, Nicolette and Trey) is supportive, loving and a beautiful example of faith in this role. Sherri and her husband, Whitey, have built a lovely family for whom I know they are both proud and grateful. Sherri is an attentive sister as well as a caring daughter and friend to many! The ways she has stepped outside herself for the benefit of others in the time I have known her are myriad and impressive. For instance, it was Sherri who coordinated the purchase of a beautiful statue of our Blessed Mother to be placed on the campus of Cathedral High School when our community lost a beloved young woman named Jen Maginot. Simply stated, Sherri’s heart is filled with the love of Christ.

I can’t remember if I first met Sherri through her sister, Sara, or if it was her talented son, Trey that I have to thank for the introduction. Trey went through grade school at St. Louis de Montfort Catholic School in Fishers with my son, Drew. The kid is quick, athletic and bright, so I was always glad to see his name on the roster of any team Drew joined. That said, it was a total bonus that it meant I would get to have my life intersect with the Kapsalis/Seger/Kaiser clan. The entire family is filled with positive, life-affirming humans– and they always show up en masse to support their people!

Sherri is sunny, pragmatic, and thoughtful. I have always loved her kind, genuine and matter-of-fact way of interacting with others. She’s certainly sensible, but also Sherri is fun! She knows how to laugh, be a little silly, and enjoy life. Her authentic laugh is infectious, but she is real. She’s a salt of the earth sort of person, and souls like that are shiny to me. I am a day late with my love, but it’s still her birthday week, and I want to tell my long, lost friend Sherri that I am grateful this world is populated by thoughtful, generous people like YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHERRI!!

Do not let love and kindness forsake you; bind them around your neck, write the on the tablet of your heart. (Prov. 3:3)

I’ve seen hatred and I have seen love. And love is more powerful. (Immaculee Ilibagiza)

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In her book, Left to Tell, Immaculee Ilibagiza provides in shocking and poignant detail, her first person account of surviving the Rwandan genocide in 1994. Hidden for three months in a tiny concealed bathroom with 7 others, she somehow managed to remain alive while most of her family (her mother, father and two brothers) were killed by Hulu soldiers.

I am a prolific reader, and her beautiful autobiography still haunts and inspires me, years after I first read it. Today, I got the rare and meaningful opportunity to see and hear her speak in person at St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church in Carmel. She’s incredibly bright, beautiful, and joy-filled. In my heart, she was already a spiritual giant, and hearing her share in person how her Catholic faith guided her through her ordeal and does the same still now in her everyday life was moving beyond what I can adequately express here. She is a soul who glorifies the Lord!

What makes Immaculee particularly remarkable to me is the grace filled way she speaks about her devotion to our Blessed Mother, who always points us to her Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. The compassionate way she presses all in her path to forgive everyone always is equally impressive because this is a woman who has forgiven that which seems nearly inconceivable to me. Her message of hope spoke to my most interior parts, leaving me feeling the peace of Christ.

Recently, I admit to whining a little too much to the Lord. I’m kind of sick of that as well as my unholy self-judgements and I am ready to stand in the light of truth. It’s important that we realize that we are all created in the image of God, so to violate the dignity of our humanity by thinking anything less is not of God. We should strive to be people of joy, and joy is the conscious possession of a good. We have to come to know ourselves and that we are loved by God, forgiven for our mistakes, just as we are! Our Blessed Mother stands ready to help us if we ask for her hand. I needed that reminder, so thank you, Immaculee!

I suppose I hope our good and gracious God is patient and loving enough that He’s happy to hear from His silly daughter, Shelly, even if she needs to adopt an attitude of gratitude in a much more profound way. Here’s the thing. I JUST finished begging Him for some “boots on the ground”. I told God I can only read so many books and that to grow in holiness, I really, really, really want some face time with actual holy persons who live in His truth, love and peace. Then, I showed up for my weekly Awaken meeting and one of the authors I most revere IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD for her selfless example of what it means to truly Trust in Providence SHOWS UP IN CARMEL, INDIANA. Are you even kidding me, Lord? THIS woman? What the heck?! Being a Jesus girl can be kind of comical sometimes. I imagine Him up there rolling His eyes at me marveling at the ferocity of my stubborn refusal to give up my own will and follow His instead.

Immaculee, you inspire me. The depth of the love and grace which flows through you to all in your path is beyond all telling. It felt a lot like today, for this mom of 3 boys from Indiana, the Lord sent you to hold up that rosary and show me the way. I left filled with JOY. I strongly suspect there are a couple of hundred other beautiful women who felt largely the same way. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” -St. Catherine of Siena

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Interpersonally gifted and spiritually aware, my new friend Lori is a woman I find very intriguing. Quality of life as she sees and describes it is very counter-cultural and centered on holiness. Yet, despite her proclivity to expose all things interior in the human person, she’s also just a stunningly gorgeous woman. She’s the kind of mom and wife who can throw on yoga pants, a sweatshirt and a winter hat and still come through the door just glowing. Her blue eyes sparkle and she is a beautiful human.

Lori is a parishioner at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, and I made her acquaintance through my pastor, Fr. Richard. He felt she and I would be a good match, and we are. She is a strong, outspoken woman of faith with significant volume control issues. She doesn’t seem to notice or mind if other people are staring at her, and it makes me not just a little bit queasy sitting with her in the middle of Panera Bread during the height of the lunch rush. Also, though, it makes me laugh at my own insecurities and just let go and let God. Being at a table with her in public reminds me how my teenagers must feel when they are out with me, ha? “Mom, shhhhh!!” That’s what comes to mind!

Articulate, kind and confident. Those are three more fitting adjectives that apply here. Lori has a great laugh and a terrific sense of humor. She cusses a little, which is pretty nearly a pre-requisite to me believing in one’s authenticity. Lori and I have some qualities in common, and a few minutes ago, she texted to share with me a lovely quote that makes me read it and think, A. TO. THE. MEN.

“In prayer, do not do all the talking. If you went into a doctor’s office, you would not rattle off the symptoms and then rush out…You learned to speak by listening, did you not? So, we are not constantly to be yapping in prayer. Sacred Scripture says, ‘Speak, Lord, thy servant heareth.” –Ven. Fulton Sheen

Thank you, Lori for being a remarkably bright person, a laser beam in the night. You’re the genuine article, my friend.

I have a lot of respect for genuine people. They might not be perfect, but at least they’re not pretending to be. (Anthony Gucciardi)

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One of the least pretentious people that I know is a mom of four from southern Indiana named Sara Kaiser (pictured above, top left). She’s married to an easy going guy named Jimmy and together they have built a messy, imperfect, beautiful life! She was a volleyball player in college– at Mississippi State– I think? Since I have total recall up to 30 seconds these days, its possible I have the school wrong. The good news is, Sara is so grace-filled and tenderhearted that she would overlook my mistake anyway.

Ladies, my friend Sara is one of those stunningly gorgeous women who look good wearing absolutely anything. Do you know what’s even worse? It’s impossible to hold that fact (or much of anything else) against her because she’s just so damn genuine, kind, and prayerful. For instance, I was just about to tease her for being late to our Christmas party one year when she came through the door apologizing and explaining that she had a holy hour at the adoration chapel she needed to complete before she was able to join us. I thought to myself, “Jeez Louise. I was about to say WHAT?”

Funny and energetic, Sara enjoys a good concert and she’s got enough rhythm for herself and a couple extra folks too. Her laugh is completely contagious and her heart is positively a gift to all of us in her path. She knows how to have faith that everything will work out for the best. Rather than judge others, she loves them. I read this quote by St. Gianna Molla last week and it reminded me of my friend Sara, who I think lives her life as well as anyone I know by not wishing it away but just being simply present where she is. St. Gianna said, “The secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for what He is sending us everyday in His goodness.” What a lovely thought, am I right?

Sara makes a difference because she is authentically kind. I don’t see her as often as I’d like, but when I do, I always leave feeling like I matter. She encourages, inspires, and makes me giggle. She never fails to welcome me with a smile and a thoughtful word. Sometimes it really is the little kindnesses that make the biggest difference in our day. Thank you, Sara, for always reminding me of that very fact! I love you, friend!

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Cor 4:17-18)

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For about a decade, I worked as the regional communications director for RE/MAX of Indiana. In that role, there was a long list of responsibilities, and I discerned very quickly that the only way the organization could be successful in all those areas which fell under my jurisdiction was to outsource some of them to competent folks. There are only so many hours in the day, after all. That’s how I met the gifted, energetic public relations whiz named Barbara Coles.

Barbara is the president of Coles Marketing, which provides marketing communications, public relations, and creative expertise (among other things) to their clients. Her team always reflected it’s leader. They were hard-working, thoughtful, and professional. Not only is Barbara all those things, but she’s just got the most positive and hopeful attitude. She’s a woman of deep faith and refreshing integrity. She’s also just insanely bright and articulate.

The wife of an attorney named Jim as well as a mom and grandmother of many, Barbara Coles is an impressive woman with a beautiful heart. Even when I was incredibly cranky and demanding, she lived up to her well-earned reputation as a patient and authentically kind woman. Her husband and the rest of her family are stunningly blessed to have her in their lives.

Frequently, she would share about the accomplishments and sometimes even the trials that her family was going through. No matter the circumstances, Barbara is always friendly and welcoming, and even in adversity she tried to see the silver lining, the positivity possible…and remain hopeful. That’s why I chose this little scripture quote about hopefulness as I attempt to honor her today with my shout out.

Her birthday is the day after mine (in March) so I missed the chance to honor her on her special day with my “Mad for 2019” column. However, a lovely young woman asked me recently if there were people in my life (outside my family) from whom I learned about some of the important lessons about how to deal with others. There is a long list of folks who have counseled me there, some with words and others with their fine example. Barbara is a person who falls into the latter category.

The Lord certainly used Barbara Coles to help me adjust my sails, and hopefully the content of my character too, in a positive way by her example. Much of her most sage guidance seeped in slowly over time– some of it long after our paths parted. While we’ve all got areas where we could stand some improvement, I am especially grateful to Barbara for showing me what the graceful end product of truly respecting others ought to look like. I am long overdue to acknowledge how much she helped me to realize that how we treat others (especially difficult folks) in our path is really so important. As we approach Thanksgiving, I find myself filled with gratefulness for the examples of many folks who are often the face of Christ to those around them by the lovely way they live their lives. This includes my former work colleague. Thanks, Barbara! You are a phenomenal woman from whom I glean inspiration STILL all these years later!

There’s nothing better than catching up with old friends.

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When I was a kid, softball was my game. I spent several summers playing for my local team, the “Wea Indians”, with largely the same group of girls. We had a solid catcher/pitcher sister act (the Royer girls) that were a big part of any success the team had, for sure. However, our best player was the short stop. She was strong and fierce in every way. Shonna had a phenomenal arm, and she would hurl the ball over to me at 1st base. My dad used to say, “She puts a little mustard on it, huh, Shell?” The girl was not messing around. Also? She could flat out hit the ball. We rarely felt like we were completely out of any game if Shonna still had an at bat or two remaining. Opposing coaches always flailed their arms at their outfielders when she got up to the plate. Those men were exactly right. The ladies needed to scoot their booties back, ha?!

My summer memories as a kid are full of smiles as Coach Tom Mellady was a good human and my teammates were pretty darn welcoming to the lone Catholic school girl on the squad. As I recall, we even won the Tippecanoe County tournament one year when we were about twelve years old. There was a boat load full of laughter, and I even remember Coach Mellady’s wife, Karen, dressing up in some sort of “mascot” get up as we made our tourney run. We were the Wea Indians, so I am not entirely sure why my memory is of her in like a giant frog costume, but, that’s what is stuck in my head. We had a good time. I do know that!

It’s nice when you meet up with old friends and see an old smile you’ve missed! That’s what happened to me this morning. Tom and I had been out delivering Thanksgiving baskets this morning for our parish, then we headed to Fishers to eat at one of the best breakfast spots in the area– The Roost. It was already a lovely morning. As we were getting ready to leave, there was a trio of folks standing behind us clamoring for our barstools in the overflowing restaurant. That’s when my old teammate, Shonna, approached and called out my name! She’s as authentic as she ever was. She looked better than ever and was accompanied by her super friendly husband and sweet son.

Seeing Shonna and getting a big hug and warm smile was an incredible blessing in my day. Her sunny disposition and friendliness really did fill the room, and my morning, with warmth. Although I’ve not seen her in many years, and both of us have grown and changed a lot, the fact is that our roots will always be a little tangled, and I’m pretty great with that! She’s a solid human and her handsome son is a pretty lucky kid to have such a caring, fun person as a mom!

Thanks, Shonna for the friendly greeting and beautiful smile this morning! I wish I had thought to take a little selfie with you so I could have sent it to my parents. They would have gotten a big kick out of that. However, I stole a picture of you off your Facebook page so they can see your bright face and get a glimpse of your guys too! I hope you don’t mind. Seeing you really did make my day, and I wanted to give you a shout out and express gratefulness for the genuine way you interact in the world. Real, genuine, kind people like you are treasures!! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your beautiful family.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)

Maybe it’s because she is the youngest child and only daughter in the family, but ever since Sarah Kiffmeyer was a little girl, she’s been fierce. Don’t misunderstand me, she’s not cutthroat or raging in any way, but she’s a relentless and strong young woman. She’s fierce in the very best sense of the word. If I’m assembling a team, I want her on my side. Sarah is athletically gifted and mentally tough. It’s been a joy to watch this wonderful, faith-filled girl grow into a beautiful young woman of integrity.

The daughter of Joe and Julie Kiffmeyer, Sarah is the sister to Andrew, Jimmy and Matt. I’ll admit, I am utterly partial to this entire family. She shares with them all a certain straightforwardness and refreshing goodness. She’s patient, principled and kind. Her loving nature and natural compassion is often on display, never more for me than when she interacts with her brother, Matt. Since she was quite young, she has displayed the kind of humanity and selflessness dealing with others that can only be explained by grace.

Sarah is not only athletic, but she is beautiful and full of sunshine. Her bright smile can light up the whole area. She’s courteous, and incredibly bright– academically gifted for sure. Sarah Kiffmeyer is a young lady of character, morals, and depth. I admire her, and I know her future is incredibly promising. The sky is the limit for Sarah! She’s a freshman at Guerin Catholic High School where she just finished playing her first high school soccer season. She’s a stand out for her attitude and her work ethic in all she takes on in life.

Sarah is pictured below with my son, Zach. They were classmates all through St. Louis de Montfort Catholic School and now at GCHS. Probably, neither of them will be thrilled I’ve posted this 8th grade picture. I’m not sure what was going on here, but even though the shot is a little old, I think they are both completely adorable…so…since it’s my column, I win, ha?

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Today, Sarah and her classmates had a day off school after just having finished up finals. I wanted to give her a little shout out today and let her know I SEE YOU, SARAH KIFF! In case no one else has mentioned it yet today, you are a phenomenal human who makes this world a much better place by your presence! I mean that sincerely, despite the fact that you are an IU fan. You know that’s a little hard for me, right? Keep on keeping on, sis…and don’t let those big brothers give you a hard time for a minute!! You are AMAZING. Now, go crush it in the 2nd trimester at GC and GO GOLDEN EAGLES!