Shelly Thieme:

There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a great one. –Jill Churchill

As the month of May progresses, I find myself looking around my life and appreciating all the terrific moms that surround me. Today, as I think about our Blessed Mother and how thankful I am for her intercession on our behalf, I find myself wanting to share with you a little about a stunningly beautiful mom of four named Deedy.

Sunny, generous and incredibly kind, Deedy is the wife of a talented and very bright guy named Ted, but everyone I know calls him “Doc.” Her children are Luke, Matt, Jake and Olivia. Each one of those four kiddos are more charming, athletic and talented than the last. Just like their mother, they have beautiful smiles. What’s even more special is that they clearly care a great deal about one another– and are stunningly supportive of each other as well. Good parenting? I’d say “heck yes!”

Deedy was my first high school team mom mentor. I asked her every dumb question about handling high school kids, senior nights, end of year banquets and she helped me along patiently and laughed at me only a little. She’s unbelievably selfless and truly gracious with her time and energy. Going completely out of her way for the benefit of other people’s children is just the way she rolls. She’s nurturing to every child she meets. So thoughtful is Deedy that even if she’s upset, she’ll likely never let on. Her positivity and enthusiasm is second to none!

Deedy, I admire so much about you, but most of all I admire the kind of supportive mom you are to those four beautiful young people! Their love for one another makes my heart happy as an outside observer. Your faithful heart, grace and joyfulness inspires me to work on the same in my own life!

Waste no time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one. -Marcus Aurelius

Day 123 of 365: Stan Vanderkleed

A straight-shooter with a heart of gold, Stan Vanderkleed is celebrating his 50th wedding anniversary today! Happy Anniversary, Stan and Nancy!! I am told that my Dad was the best man at that wedding half a century ago, so perhaps that explains why Stan and his wife Nancy have always been a fixture in my life too! It seems like a great day to celebrate some of the things that make Stan the man just a fantastic guy!

An epically talented storyteller, with an affinity for Elvis Presley, I truly don’t think I know a single soul who can match Stan’s wit when it comes to holding a room captive with a tale. Oh my goodness, he can tell a story about a dead rabbit and make you laugh about it for a week! He’s a blue collar guy with an incredible work ethic who always seems to me to be happy when I see him. Stan is the definition of integrity. He takes pride in doing a good deed for others, and he wears his heart on his sleeve.

Good-hearted and faithful, Stan is a husband and also a grandfather to several terrific kids– some in Lafayette and some in Chicagoland. He’s inspiring for the way he productively uses his time to benefit those around him….with his skills as a plumber, or his time as an involved father and grandfather, or as a friend. Being around Stan is plain good for morale. He takes pride in his community and everyone around him knows he can be counted on to help in any way he’s able.

For instance, once several years ago, Tom and I had a bad water leak that seemed to be coming from inside the walls in our home. We didn’t know what to do about it and the initial plumber we had out couldn’t figure out the source of the problem. Somehow, Stan became aware of the situation and he drove an hour from Lafayette down here to Indy to take a look at the situation. Thankfully, it didn’t take him long to find the source of the crisis and he saved the day. Who offers to make a two-hour round trip to take a look at a mystery leak? Stan Vanderkleed. That’s who.

I’m posting the fancy picture of Stan and Nan today because it is after all their 50th anniversary, but also there’s a photo here of them both with some of the grandkids who they were getting ready to take on a mission trip. In it, Stan looks more like the guy I know. He’s an unfancy and very authentic guy who loves the Indy 500, and he’s as genuine a man as you will ever find. His word is as good as gold, but don’t ask him for fashion advice. I am pretty sure he’s colorblind. In fact, I remember his daughters, Jill and Erin, having some good natured fun teasing him about having a purple toolbox– and he had no idea if they were telling the truth or not! This world would be a MUCH more integrity filled place if there were a few more guys like Stan. That’s what I know for sure this Friday afternoon!

Stan, knowing you and watching you live your life and the way you love others has definitely made me a better person. Tom and I are so blessed to know you! I wish you many more years of happiness and health with Nancy, Jill and Tony, Erin and Brad….and all the grandkids! You are the real deal!!

Wherever God has put you, that is your vocation. It is not what we do but how much love we put into it. –St. (Mother) Teresa of Calcutta

Day 122 of 365: Julia Mattei

Having just returned late last night from some much needed R&R with my main squeeze, who needed a few days away from work to recover from another tax season, I arrived home to Mom, Dad, Zach….and drumroll please….Drew. Drew’s no longer a college freshman, and Mom has already done all his smelly college laundry. Moms (and grandmas too) are pretty awesome like that. That got me thinking about who I might write about today and it occurred to me that tomorrow is May Crowning at St. Louis de Montfort. So, it seems to me that the Holy Spirit is nudging me about motherhood today. Therefore, I decided to share with you one of the most outstanding moms I know! Meet Julia Mattei. She’s pictured above with her husband, Steve, a gem of a guy who has been known to make a mean margarita.

Julia is a long-time friend and old neighbor of mine. She has four AMAZING children: Michael, Jack, Megan and Joey who also attended SLDM like my sons. My crew of three grew up around the corner from the Mattei clan. Because her oldest son is just a touch older than mine, Julia was the woman I kind of considered my “mentor mom” over the years. She cleared the kid hurdles just a bit ahead of me, and while they were still fresh in her mind, I would pick her brain. “Is he too young for a sleepover?” “What’s it like having a driver?” “Do you think he’s too young for a cell phone?” The questions never ended. Her advice, just like Julia, was always perceptive, thoughtful and flat out astute. She’s a smart, loving, and amusing lacrosse mama. Actually, she can be downright hilarious and she tells one humdinger of a story if you get her going. Good-humored and full of life, Julia is a mom I always wanted to emulate.

The Mattei and Thieme families have a little history. They came up to the lake in Michigan with us, and we made a trip or two later down to their cottage in southern Indiana. We enjoyed some backyard fun and our kids shared all the snow days. Michael and Jack showed Nick the ropes on how to go tubing behind a speedboat. Megan taught Drew how to bait a hook at their lake house and we all tried to keep Zach and Joey from running into the street or otherwise injuring themselves while the older kids ruled the roost. Julia is a generous and warm sister and daughter. She’s a smiler. The blessings of life are what she focuses on, and her extremely successful and jovial, positive kiddos are the result. I admire her tremendously for the way she has lived her vocation as a mother and daughter all these years.

I’ve got an unflattering nickname for Julia. She earned it fair and square though, by being a smart aleck right as I was in the middle of paying her a compliment. It might have been wine-aided on both of our parts….but it’s a dubious honor nonetheless. I’ll not share it here, lest I ruin my 120 day run of writing articles without using a single curse word. I’m sort of proud of the curious streak. You know who you are though, my friend!!

The month of May is devoted to Mary in the Catholic Church we both share and love, so it seems fitting to celebrate a truly faith-filled, joyful and grateful friend who is an incredibly fantastic mother. Julia, I admire you for the way you take care of your own mom and I am thankful to you for introducing me to the St. Augustine Home and the Little Sisters of the Poor. The Thieme family has been so blessed by you over the years….because you care for other people’s children just as lovingly as your own. As a friend and mentor mom, you’ve been, as the kids would say, “the absolute GOAT”. Love you, S.B…..

A tree is known by it’s fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love. –St. Basil

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Her birthday isn’t until late in December, and the truth of the matter is, I just don’t have the patience to wait any more to tell you about my dear friend, Chris Helt. She’s the beautiful gal on the far left in this picture above of me with some of my favorite women on the planet! As the hats seem to indicate, we were ringing in the New Year! Since this time of the night on New Year’s Eve is not known for producing the best photos, I’m going to share one more. Below, you will find a photo of Chris with her two terrific sons and her very amusing husband, Rhys!

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Chris is a tennis lover who lives on a big, beautiful piece of land near Noblesville. She lives to care for her family, including her mom (who lives with them) and she’s crazy about her horses. She’s always anxious to send us photos of her new colts when they are born. Here’s the thing about Chris. She has a heart the size of Indiana and she is full of positivity. I read this quote recently, which is why I wanted to take a moment to talk about my friend “Chrissy”. I read it, and I thought….I think he’s talking about her.

“Let us be loving and humble of heart toward all, but particularly those closest to us; let us walk together in peace, supporting one another, without giving way in times of trials, and never losing heart.” –St. Francis de Sales

Rarely have I ever encountered someone who more completely loves her ENTIRE family the way Chris does. She wanted to make sure her mom was supported and surrounded by love, so she moved her in. She embraces all the extended Helt clan with ferocious love. I don’t think I know anyone who loves their in-laws like Chris does. It’s so awesome. No bigger mama bear can be found then she is to her two handsome sons, Rhett and Rhye. She’s a gracious, kind and very accepting soul.

When my oldest sons graduated from Guerin Catholic, BOTH years we had a grand party at the Helt Farm. Who invites 500 people to trollop all over their gorgeous property for hours? Chris Helt does, that’s who! She’s BEYOND gracious and welcoming. She’s the same crazy mom who spent so many years in frozen ice rinks for the sake of her youngest and smelly hoops gyms for her oldest….in her humble and unassuming way. The way she loves and supports others is heartwarming to witness.

Winter of 2019 wasn’t my best. There was health drama and medical testing out the ying-yang. She reached out in prayer. As the clouds started to lift (metaphorically speaking of course because does the sun ever really shine in Indiana…ha?) I received an invitation from Chris to attend an event with her at St. Elizabeth Seton Catholic Church. We ended up enjoying a lovely afternoon featuring Sr. Josemaria, who spoke about her vocation story. It was inspiring and of course full of faith and many smiles. It was a rainy day, but it brought me the sunshine I needed! Somehow, she just knew! What I am trying to say is that her friendship is life-giving and it is a gift from the Lord in my life.

Thank you Chris for your friendship and for your kind heart. I love you!

Be cheerful. Jesus will take care of everything. Let us pay no attention to people who do not know what they are saying. Let us trust in Jesus and our heavenly Mother, and everything will work out well. –St. Padre Pio

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I’d like to take a moment today to wish one of the most genuinely cheerful and bright souls I ever have had the pleasure of meeting a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Mary Banta is the wife of Ed (pictured with her here) as well as a mother and grandmother. I had the good fortune of meeting her when she was the principal at St. Louis de Montfort several years ago.

Mary was a former school teacher who had just left her position at OLMC to fill an interim post as our top school administrator. She came in during tough circumstances and did an exceptional job, in large part because I think she could see in each child a point of goodness. She’s sunny!

I see Mary from time to time at mass, where she often sings in the choir, or just out and about in Carmel. I am fairly certain she is now retired, but she is definitely still quite busy. Even if we just run into each other while getting our nails painted, she never fails to say hello and come to inquire about my children.

Mary is a faithful, holy woman with a good sense of humor. She’s not afraid to be self-deprecating and she’s easy to be around. St. Therese of Lisieux, who is my very favorite saint, says “Even when alone, be cheerful, remembering always that you are in the sight of angels.” I suspect Mary follows that sage advice, considering her lovely positivity and ever present smile.

I hope your birthday is filled with laughter and love, Mary, because your life and the way you live it is very beautiful and worthy of celebration! Thank you for always reminding me with your genuine cheerfulness that we are the people of God– so we should SMILE and act like it!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARY BANTA!!

Good people don’t have to say they’re good people, it just shows. –Shauna Parker

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Some people make the world special just by being in it with us. Maggie Kuhlman is such a woman. She’s compassionate and gentle, and at the same time fierce and competitive. Deeply loving, this wife and mom is also now a mother-in-law and grandmother. She’s pictured above with her granddaughter, Maddie.

When my oldest son, Nick, was a 2nd grader, he came home from school one day wanting me to drop everything so the two of us could pray for a neighbor friend who was struggling through cancer. “Of course, kiddo, let’s do it.” Afterward, I quizzed him about why Mrs. Volpe was so much on his mind that particular day. He said, “Well, Mrs. Kuhlman told us today that God listens to all our prayers, but ESPECIALLY to children who are preparing to make their first communion!” Cue one giant lump in my throat.

Ah, yes….Mrs. Kuhlman. No beauty shines like that of a lovely heart, am I right? Good people just naturally bring out the best in others, and that is exactly how it went for my two children in the 2nd grade classroom of Maggie Kuhlman.

Perhaps because she was a runner at Purdue University, or maybe it was because she also was a mom of boys, she seemed to connect so quickly with Nick and Drew. I recall there being many days where the kids would share that the entire class just needed to shake out the ants in their pants, so Mrs. Kuhlman and her class took a break and jogged a lap around the church building or something of similar ilk. Also, I remember giggling audibly when the boys told me that I needed to buy them some deodorant because Mrs. Kuhlman says kids start to smell rotten at their age!! Hahaha!!

Maggie retired from her teaching position a few years back, so she didn’t teach the youngest of my three goofballs, but I regret so much not reaching out as she moved on to let her know that she just feels like sunshine and that the Thieme family truly appreciated every single bit of wisdom, compassion, faithfulness and heart that she shared with us and the entire SLDM community during her “Cardinal” years. Maggie, YOU are an incredible human who makes such a difference for others. Your family and those grandchildren are blessed beyond measure. I’m a little late, but THANK YOU FOR BEING A WONDERFUL EXAMPLE OF WHAT SPECTACULAR HUMANS LOOK LIKE! Also? BOILER UP!!

Great teachers empathize with kids, respect them, and believe that each one has something special that can be built upon. –Ann Lieberman

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As the Thieme family finishes up nearly two decades of Catholic grade school education in the next month, I find myself overflowing with gratitude for so many of the folks that have made a difference for my boys during their time at SLDM. One of those absolutely special people is a junior high science teacher named Todd Oneacre. Todd arrived at SLDM just in time to have the oldest of my sons for 8th grade science. Nick’s class was his very first at St. Louis de Montfort.

I recall very clearly wondering how things were going to work out for Todd as he began his teaching career at SLDM. Although my memory isn’t always reliable, I am fairly certain Todd came from a career in geology and then decided to transition into teaching. A huge advantage Todd had in his corner though is the fact that he is a loving dad with a beautiful family. They are pictured above. Parents who transition from to teaching do have a leg up, in my opinion! It helps to know how to relate to kids after all.

What I have learned over many years is that Todd is not only a gifted teacher, but he is kind and well-loved by his students. Because he is very funny and never condescending, his genuine care and concern for them rings true. The kids respect Mr. Oneacre. His classroom is always filled with hands-on experiments and out-of-the-box thinking.

As an 8th grade homeroom teacher, Todd is tasked with helping organize the annual trip to Washington D.C. each fall. He does a phenomenal job communicating with both students and parent chaperones and still making sure everyone is safe, and the experience is rewarding.

What makes Todd truly special is that he connects and he cares. Several times over the years he has asked me about how my older boys are doing. He reached out when Drew graduated last year to have me share with D how proud he was of Drew’s high school academic achievements. He’s stopped me at school mass to share with me about something terrific he noticed about Zach. These moments of intentionality he shares with many families are incredibly meaningful.

So, Todd Oneacre, in case no one has told you today, YOU ARE A GREAT TEACHER! The Thieme family is very grateful for you and we appreciate all the times yours has been the face of Christ to us!! Thank you for all you do each day for your students.

In each child, God whispers a new secret to the world; adds a new dimension of immortality to creation. -Ven. Fulton Sheen

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For the past 16 years, I have been picking up kids each afternoon after school in the church parking lot at St. Louis de Montfort Catholic School in Fishers. The white flag is currently being waived, because I am in the midst of my final lap. A month from now, my youngest son will be a graduate and my time in that line will be complete. The last little girl to ride in the “Thieme-mobile” is a sunny 5th grader named Lily. She’s pictured above with her dad, Grady Dunlap, who’s also a pretty solid human!

When we moved to our current home a few years ago, Lily was much smaller than she is now, but she was just as light-filled. She’s outgoing and very chatty. Since my house has always been a little overflowing with testosterone, Lily and her myriad of hair accessories, girlfriend stories, and general enthusiasm for life has long been a breath of fresh air. She makes me grin!

When the current group was a little younger, I was able to easily draw them in with my carpool game of “highlight/lowlight”. I would always ask the kids to share with me either a highlight from their day, or, if the day really was just rotten, to feel free to share what frustration was on their mind. One can really learn more than they might want to know sometimes with this dangerous line of questioning!! Ha? Invariably, though, Lily would come bounding in the car during those early years saying “I wanna go first today, Mrs. Thieme! I have some really good highlights!!” Usually, the boys would roll with the punches, but occasionally, her older brothers, Sam and Matt, or my Zach would roll their eyes at her and say something about how she needs to give someone else a chance. I’d try to give the boys a chance now and then to share first, but I’ll be honest, those sparkly eyes and that sunny grin are pretty darn hard to resist!

Lily Dunlap is an extraordinarily bright young lady who is also polite and cheerful. She loves to play soccer and I have seen her fierceness on the basketball court too. She’s a big fan of my occasional DQ runs and always respectful, kind and grateful. When I have extra passengers along for the ride, Lily, realizing she’s physically the smallest, always volunteers to climb into the back row of seats. In all this time, I’ve never once heard her complain about it. I can’t say the same for any of my three boys over the years! This is a faith-filled young lady who is filled with goodness.

While I am looking forward to gaining back an hour of my afternoons after 16 years starting next fall, I will most certainly miss the smile and sunshine of Miss Lily in my backseat. She’s a refreshingly charming and a truly terrific young lady! I’m hoping maybe I’ll get a chance to catch up with her now and then when the neighborhood kids gather for basketball in the driveway, but my life these last few years has certainly been sunnier because of making the acquaintance of one Lily Dunlap! I think you’re just awesome, Lily!