He Never Misses

Category: Family Life

  • Shelly 2.0

    What’s wrong with you people?  Why can’t you understand how special I am?MotherTeresa

    I mean sure, I have a little bit of a patience issue this week, but the sun hasn’t been out in months here and I am a tax season widow–so there are special circumstances.  Plus, I’ll grant you that I’m well past the pleasantly plump label at this point, but you have to keep in mind the medical challenges and my personal history.  It’s been too cold to exercise EVERYDAY.   I mean, the time hasn’t been right.  It’s a special case.  The laundry might be a smidge backed up, and I forgot to take the trash cans in AGAIN.  The “house” part of “housewife” is constantly giving me fits.  But you see, I have 3 boys playing on five teams right now who need to be carpooled to 2 different schools everyday…. and I hosted Easter last week and this weekend was my youngest son’s first communion.  We were celebrating.  We’re really busy.  It’s spring break.  I’m sure you’ll agree that’s different.  It’s a special situation.  I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

    ENOUGH.  My “special” attitude isn’t working.

    It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels. — St. Augustine

    Ever feel like you’re overdue for an attitude change, a behavior shift?  If failure drives change, then I guess I am in the middle of a new experience with freedom here.   There is a certain freedom, after all, in knowing I don’t have to worry about screwing up anymore.  It’s happened.  I’ve already done it.  BUT, I hear without failure, there is no growth.

    Growth in my case seems to mean I need to come to grips with being a little smaller.  Pun intended.  I mean it literally and in a figurative way.  Now might be time to put down the goldfish crackers and come to grips with my nothingness.

    A friend of mine who has survived a long ugly battle with leukemia told me once that she wakes up every day and no matter how crappy she feels, she wants to do something positive for someone else.

    Karen is clearly on to something.  It’s time to start waking with a new attitude.  So, I decided a change is in order–less me, more God.  If God is love, then I am going to thank God for the day He has given me by doing something that makes someone smile.  Inspire someone.  Be someone’s light.  Love more.

    I prayed about it and I thought about it and I committed to a turnaround.  Let’s go!

    Cue reality.   The day before yesterday, my internet went out.  This isn’t a new problem.  We live in a not so bright house, if you catch my drift.   I unplugged it then turned the modem back on.  Nada.  Then, I waited for a miracle.  If a particular service has been dead more than 24 hours, I let my fingers do the walking.  The nice gal tried at the cable company to work her long distance techno magic, but the pinging was to no avail.  She decided I needed a new modem and scheduled a service call for today.

    A few hours later, I noticed that my land line was dead.  Since we have the same provider for the phone, internet and cable, I decided I would dial them again from my cell phone and add this issue.  The words of Mother Teresa rolled around in my mind.  Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.  Okay real life, here we go.

    That’s when I noticed that the dead modem was looking more alive and my email was operational.  So, I hooked up via cell phone with my good friends at Brighthouse and a customer service gal who identified herself as Vicki answered.  Here’s how our conversation progressed.

    “M’am, I see we already have a service call scheduled for tomorrow.  Do you need to reschedule?”

    “Vicki, no I don’t.  I just need to chat with you for a second.  You see, when I called earlier for service and talked to the other gal, it was my internet that was out.  Now it’s my phone.  But the internet is working again.  The modem has come out of its coma for now.”

    “Oh, okay.  So you want to cancel the internet technician but have a phone tech visit instead?”

    “Well, Vicki, not really.”

    “Mrs. Thieme, I am so sorry you’re having trouble but you don’t need to get upset, I will do what I can to help.”

    “Listen, Vicki.   You can relax and call me Shelly.  No one has cancer over here.  I’m not worked up at all and there won’t be any phone rage.  This isn’t an emergency of any kind.  It’s just that I am bummed I am paying for phone, internet and cable and I don’t think all three have ever been working at the same time for a solid week since we moved here.  I already know all your technicians.  Can we talk?”

    “Thank you for being nice M’am.  What can I do?”

    “Well, Vicki, I know you have thousands of customers.   There’s nothing special about me or my house.  I am just thinking maybe we can talk about what other options you have there.  Do you guys have a team of super smart geeks you send out to call on the houses of people who are yelling and talking about unfair treatment?  I kinda want a shot at those guys.  Only I am going to be nice and try to make them eat super yummy cinnamon bread that I am now not allowed to eat myself so they will stay long enough to untangle the technology cluster going on over here.”

    Audible giggles.  “M’am.  Shelly, I mean.  Can you hold for a minute while I do something I say I am going to do but rarely actual do?”

    “You’re going to talk to a supervisor, aren’t you?”

    “Yes M’am, please hold”.

    “Thank you for holding for so long and being so nice.  I’ve checked your account.  I think we can do a better job for you.  I’ve asked permission to give you a promotional discount we give to new customers.  Your bill will be $61 less per month from now on.  Oh, and this month you have been given a $50 credit.”

    “Vicki.  That’s so kind.  Thank you for doing that!  I’m not sure what possessed you but gosh I am grateful.”

    “M’am.  I’ll tell you.  It’s three things.   You didn’t complain about being on hold for 42 minutes. You are so funny,  and best of all, you haven’t tried telling me how important or special your problems are one time.”

    Hmm.  I think she just said she was extra nice to me because I know I’m NOT SPECIAL.  Haha!!  Okay, God.  I hear you commenting on my change.  Shelly 2.0 it is.

    “Our technicians will be at your house tomorrow between 8am and 10am.  Is that okay?”

    “Vicki.  I feel like you used a plural word.  Did you say technicianzzzz?”

    “Yes, M’am.  I did my best.  Thank you so much for being really nice.  Good luck.”

    Pope Francis said, “The sin that repulses me most is pride and thinking oneself as a big shot” in an interview for a book written about him by Sergio Rubin in 2010.  He said when it happened to him, “I have felt great embarrassment and I ask God for forgiveness because nobody has the right to behave like this.”

    Seems like our new pope might be working with more updated software than yours truly.

    Version 2.0:  Less me, more others, more love, more God.

    Amen.

  • The Snow Storm Birthday

    My backyard on March 24, 2013
    My backyard on March 24, 2013

    Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me.  –Carl Sandberg

    Yesterday, we set a record here in Central Indiana.  According to WTHR, our NBC affiliate, it was the largest snowfall ever recorded in March.  As of this morning, there were 8 inches in my backyard and the snow continues to fall.  The previous record of 5.8 inches was set on March 1, 1912. March ONE.  For goodness sakes, God, it’s March 24!!  On this day, my birthday, I usually plant pansies in my front porch flower pots.  What is going on here?

    It seemed to me as the forecasters continued to issue their “Winter Storm Warning” in advance of Palm Sunday 2013 that this was just going to be an utterly depressing weekend.   I was thinking like my friend Lauren who posted on her Facebook page, “You know that phrase – I’ll see you when hell freezes over?  Snow at the end of March makes you wonder.  Just sayin”

    I’m absolutely with you, Lauren.   You make me laugh because I was thinking this is what the first week of spring is supposed to look like…..maybe in Juneau, Alaska?

    Ever an optimist and determined to enjoy myself anyway, I remembered this little golden nugget.

    “This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  (Ps 118:24)

    Ok, God, I will try to love this snow covered birthday.  I will.

    Being a lover of all celebrations of life, and with childlike enthusiasm for my own as well, I jokingly issue annual reminders to all who will listen about the upcoming “festival of Shelly” when it comes around exactly one week after St. Patrick’s Day each spring.  If that seems a tad childish and disturbingly narcissistic, then you have a clear and accurate picture.  A gal has got to do what a gal has got to do.

    I’ll not defend myself so much as ask that you allow me to explain.  First of all, I have the most amazing parents (no, really, mine are the best) who taught me birthdays are just plain “the greatest”.   We have some fairly terrific birthday memories from over the years and NO MATTER WHAT Mom and Dad always find a way to get us together to celebrate every birthday in the family WITHOUT FAIL.  Always.  This exercise is compulsory.

    God used them to teach me something about the value of every life.   I believe a birthday is a gift– it is one day set aside each year to celebrate life.  If your life intersects with mine on a regular basis, eventually I will seek out the date of your birth, add it to my calendar, and when it’s your day,  I will try to make sure sun shines all over you.  Some of you will resist and you will lose your battle.  On my day, I love the chance to celebrate my fantastic life, filled with gratefulness, with those I love.  All of us have been given that great gift of life, all of us are made in God’s image, and all of us have lives worth thanking God for with a little gusto on our special day!

    Secondly, a gal sometimes has to advertise the birthday just to hedge against the possibility the CPA husband could lose track of her fabulousness during these ugliest days of tax season.  My friend Lisa would call this my “charmingly abrasive” side.  However, 80 and 90 hour work weeks are brutal.  My guy is pretty well trained now and I could probably back down the advertising campaign, but now it’s kind of a treasured ritual of our family life! Right, honey?

    Stay with me now as I circle back to the snow covered birthday of 2013.

    My fabulous husband suggested, in advance of the snow, that our immediate family go for dinner to open up the festival.  We did that on Saturday night.  I chose “The Ram” in Fishers because I am a mom with 3 boys and a husband who love March Madness and I knew we could enjoy our family time AND see the games.  I even got to overrule the watching of Tiger Woods on the golf channel “because it’s my birthday” and watching golf on TV makes removing old wallpaper seem like fun.  We giggled, ate onion rings, and then came home, watched more basketball.  Later, they brought me a scoop of ice cream with 2 candles on top and sang, “Happy Birthday”.  In short, it was awesome!

    When I opened my eyes the next morning, yesterday, the snow was already falling.  We made it to mass and the grocery store.  My crazy parents drove down here in the snow.  Mom and I went shopping for Easter dresses while the snow came down.  Dad taught the kids a new card game.  We had pizza for dinner, we ate my favorite homemade angel food cake, and then the greatest thing happened!!

    THERE WAS SO MUCH SNOW.

    There was so much snow in fact that the boys got to stay up late because school was cancelled.

    There was so much snow that their grandparents decided to spend the night.

    So, the party continued.  There was a long, loud card game won by Tom, a lesson on what exactly is “The Harlem Shake” for the grandparents, there was late night hot chocolate, NCAA basketball bracket updates, more giggling, and bacon and eggs this morning for breakfast followed by a game of euchre.

    “We know that all things work for good for those who love God- who are called according to his purpose.”  Romans 8:28

    Thanks to Tom, Nick, Drew, Zach, Mom and Dad for ringing in my 42nd birthday with me during the snow covered weekend.   It was fantastic.  I love you.  You all are the most amazing blessing.

    And God?  You just get me.  The snow storm birthday of 2013—nice.  THANKS.

    “Be happy in the moment, that’s enough.  Each moment is all we need, not more.”  Mother Teresa

  • A Passion for Purple: GCHS

    St. Theodore Guerin, pray for us!
    St. Theodore Guerin, pray for us!

    Two trimesters into our family’s likely 30 trimester experience at Guerin Catholic High School, I am feeling grateful to God and therefore I am compelled this day to share 10 things I love about this high school.

    1. The first all school mass of the year.  A standing ovation to welcome the freshmen?  You gotta be kidding me.  AWESOME!

    2.  Long Live the GC Student Section!  Experiencing the rowdy, smiling fools– dressed in God knows what crazy theme on any given night—totally fun!

    3.   Boys who know how to tie their own tie. 

    4.  Deacon Rick’s weekly letter.  Man oh man, I’m gonna miss that guy!

    5.  Purple Pride.  This one was almost a deal breaker for us choosing GC.  Think LSU colors.  Yikes!  But now, I admit, I find myself searching out purple accessories.  It grows on you.

    6.  Ash Wednesday Lunch:  A bowl of soup, a piece of bread.   Hello, Lent.

    7.  Fr. Joshua Janko:  Fantasy conclave pushing, mass before finals celebrating, oversized basketball jersey wearing PASSION.

    8.  Mr. Panasuk’s Videos:  Here’s a sample:   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJcDQ8muSwo

    9.  Community Service Day:  “Be a Servant. Be a Leader” (X 750).  Powerful.

    10.  Teachers who get it:  Here’s the sort of thing that happens in every department, with consistency.  These people just get it.  This letter went out to Spanish students yesterday.  Remember, this isn’t from the Theology teacher.

    Estudiantes,

    Final exams have been graded and plugged in.  The overall grade you see listed is your FINAL grade for the course.  There is nothing more you can do, even if you are only .0000000001 from whatever the next grade up may be.  If you wish to see your final exam, you may come check with me after the last final exam period is complete. I thank you for a good trimester together and would like to leave you with a quote from Fr. Michael Keating, an associate professor of Catholic Studies at St. Thomas University in Minnesota that recently struck me as the reality of this statement is stunning.  He said, (referring to eternity) “You will either be a creature of eternal light and rule with Christ in His Kingdom, or you will be an eternal horror full of darkness in the depths of hell. You are not called to just be a ‘nice’ person.” I don’t know about you, but I find that to be absolutely amazing and terrifying at the same time. Let us pray today for the grace to live a holy life, so that we can live forever as creatures of eternal light. Your life may be the only Bible some people read.  – Author Unknown

    It is impossibe to estimate what a Christian education does for these young people. — St. Theodore Guerin

    Great Catholic schools everywhere deserve our thanks.  They are filled with amazing educators, administrators and volunteers who aren’t in it for the money, that’s for sure.  What do you love about your Catholic school??

  • BINGO!

    My friend Kit Kleck is rather an inspired mom, if you ask me.  She’s a common sense organizer type.  It would be a piece of cake to give you multiple examples of her simple genius, butStAug my favorite today is this quarterly service project she has coordinated for the junior high kids at St. Louis de Montfort for the past couple of years.  There has been bell ringing for the Salvation Army, feeding the homeless downtown, collection of clothing, etc.

    Her inspiration for this ongoing project is the Corporal Works of Mercy:

    •To feed the hungry;

    •To give drink to the thirsty;

    •To clothe the naked;

    •To harbor the harborless;

    •To visit the sick;

    •To ransom the captive;

    •To bury the dead.

    The idea here is that the children (and their families too) will have the opportunity to practically experience going outside oneself in service of another.  Mercy used in this context is said by St. Thomas Aquinas to be a virtue influencing one’s will to have compassion for, and, if possible, to alleviate another’s suffering.

    Kit put me in charge of the 3rd quarter project, and with the help of my good friend, Julia Mattei, I elected to use my moment in charge to organize a trip to St. Augustine’s Home for the Aged, on 86th St. in Indianapolis, which is operated by the amazing Little Sisters of the Poor.  It’s Lent, I reasoned, and one way to give alms is to share our time.

    The uncomplicated opportunity was playing BINGO, talking to, and serving treats to the nursing home residents – and if you’ve ever done it you know it is just a darn good way to spend an afternoon.

    Here’s a little peak at our experience with the SLDM  7th graders and about 40 St. Augustine’s residents this past weekend.

    My new best friend, who would prefer that I call him “Vincenzo Giuseppi”, told me as I suggested he might want to cover “B 6” (if he has any chance to beat Adele at the next table over),  “You are outgoing and fun.  This is the best time I’ve had in a long while!”

    As we began, the kids were timid and quiet.  They had obviously not spent much time in a room full of seniors.  The residents weren’t so sure about us and our squirrely crew either!  However, it didn’t take long before I started hearing kids saying things like “Yes, I agree, chocolate chip cookies are definitely the best” or “You have 3 brothers?  Me too!”

    The charming activities director with the Peruvian accent was brilliantly accommodating.  She allowed the kids to assist the residents, call out winning numbers, and run the numbers board………generally just take over the day’s event.

    I brought along my 2nd grader who plopped himself down between two charming Bingo- loving old gals who paid so much attention to his every silly word that he said (beaming) “I was like a celebrity Mom.  They loved me!!”

    As we were leaving, “Vincenzo” insisted we wait until he made a quick trip to his room.  When he returned, he handed me two puzzles.  They must be 1000 piece puzzles, put together and glued in place.  Obviously, these were treasures.  The larger of the two was a Christmas puzzle.  He whispered to me it was a personal favorite because it’s of Rockefeller Center in NY, and although he likes to joke that he is old Italian mafia, the truth is that his last name is Bennett, and he is from NY.

    A Christmas picture, huh?  How appropriate, I can’t help thinking.  Vincenzo?  You and your friends brought Jesus to life for us on Saturday.

    That’s how it always goes, doesn’t it?  You do something “to be nice” and what happens is that you end up being the one to whom the gift was given.  I know this.  Sometimes, I just forget.  In this case, the gift is mine applies literally and figuratively.

    When we try to be the face of Jesus, we can be certain then that we will find Him and our gift inevitably is joy.

    “…Amen, I say to you, what you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Mt. 25:40)

    BINGO!!

  • News Flash: God is NOT a Bully

    “Souls do not wish to be bullied, but gently brought back; such is the nature of man.”

     –St.  Francis de Sales

    After carpool dropoff this morning, I made a trek to Northside Radiology.  Being an expert, I had worn the sports bra and a pair of pants without a zipper.  All this would save time and a little naked humiliation I reasoned as I carefully chose my wardrobe this morning.  Once there, I shed all my gear that coulFinal-Analysis-poem-Anyway-mother-teresad possibly contain metal, and I found myself once again laying down on the X-ray table.  As I did the “breathe in…now hold it” routine, I was pondering about how long the doctor’s appointment would last because after that I needed to get to the lab to draw 2 blood samples today for the endocrinologist, Dr. Baker.  On my mind, too, were my in-laws and my own parents who have had more than their share of waiting rooms over the last year.  I wish things had been easier for them all.  It’s easy to take good health for granted.

    The X-ray tech waved goodbye, and within just a few minutes I was inside the office of my urologist, Dr. Dave Hollensbe.  The doc is a good Catholic guy and terrific at what he does.  He has a dry and sarcastic sense of humor.  Hollensbe strikes me as rather a smart ass, if I’m completely honest.  Since most the men in my family share that trait, I feel right at home with him.  I have gotten to know him better than many docs I’ve seen over the years because he’s performed 3 or 4 kidney stone procedures on me.   I have a special gift for churning out stones.  Try not to be too jealous.

    We chatted and he gave me some input and a question to ask the other specialist when I see her next week.   As we were finishing up the doctor said to me, “Are you okay?  You seem agitated.”

    The truth is I was agitated, and perhaps even a bit despondent.  However, I was really surprised to be called out.  I thought I was cloaking those feelings with cheerfulness pretty well.  Clearly I was not.   I could defend myself by giving you a few decent sounding reasons why I woke up on the wrong side of the pillow.  I will spare you.

    The truth is I should be living in joyful awareness of God–instead of dragging my cross behind me so everyone can choke on the dust.

    Mother Teresa said this, “When I see someone sad I always think, she is refusing something to Jesus.”  It was in giving Jesus whatever He asked that she found her deepest and lasting joy. She said, “Cheerfulness is a sign of a generous and mortified person who forgetting all things, even herself, tries to please God in all she does for souls…for God loves a cheerful giver.”

    I want to live in joy.  So rather than depending on something to change so that I can be joyful, I choose joy right now.  Greeting others warmly, speaking encouragement and affirmation, my own joy will increase as I share positivity and focus on positivity.  This is not new news.  Oftentimes, I simply forget.

    Have you ever read the book of Job?  I hadn’t until this week.  It’s worth a look if you aren’t familiar– or even if you are.  This poor guy’s life went from incredibly abundant to complete depravity nearly overnight.  He lost everyone and everything.  Knowing his own righteousness, he cried out to God in long pathetic speeches.  The Lord ultimately replied, “Will one who argues with the Almighty be corrected?  Let him who would instruct God give answer!”  The Lord seems to challenge Job to play God.  When Job realizes what he has done and to whom he has been railing, he says to God, “I have spoken but did not understand; things too marvelous for me, which I did not know…therefore I disown what I have said and repent in dust and ashes.”

    The message I hear is the one Mother Teresa shares which is:   God loves us and wants us to trust His will for us will always be an expression of that perfect love, however impossible it is for us to comprehend His marvelous designs.

    “Be glad in the Lord and rejoice.” (Ps 32:11).

    Thanks, God, for gently bringing me back to reality today through the good Doc.  I wasn’t giving the world my best this morning.

    I am issuing a challenge to myself and to anyone else out there who might feel called.  Do something today to share joy, INTENTIONALLY, with another.  It’s an act that really is also a prayer– something beautiful for God.  It’s really all between you and Him anyway.  Then, repeat tomorrow.

  • Is Hell Empty, or is it Crowded?

    Deadly sinsRecently, I was asked to write an editorial style article on the topic of sin.  In essence, the assignment was to share what is sin, from my perspective here at the back of the carpool line.

    I began by pounding out paragraphs containing several fairly impressive adjectives essentially describing sin as whatever separates us from God.  I then consulted the Catechism as it relates to “venial” vs “mortal” sin.  Nothing in the writing moved my heart whatever.  I simply wasn’t “feeling it”.  Hmm.

    My own struggle with this topic seems to be that I am interiorly restless as it relates to this fundamental question of sin—especially as it relates to eternity.  Do I believe we are all sinners?  YES.  Do I believe Jesus died to save us from our sin?  YES.  Do I believe we are FREE to choose God or choose to curse His holy name?  YES.

    Assuming you are still with me, let’s engage in some speculative theology for a moment.  Is hell empty, or is it crowded?

    The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: “The teaching of the Church affirms the existence of hell and its eternity. Immediately after death the souls of those who die in a state of mortal sin descend into hell, where they suffer the punishments of hell, ‘eternal fire.’ The chief punishment of hell is eternal separation from God, in whom alone man can possess the life and happiness for which he was created and for which he longs” (CCC 1035).

    “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.  For the gate is narrow and the way is hard, that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” (Mt 7:13-14)

    All of this is rather heavy stuff for a gal such as yours truly whose faith is strong but simple.  As a mom, I love my boys.  They make many mistakes, and still I stubbornly love them.  That inherent, God-given, and sometimes irrational, foolish love seems to me the example Christ provides in my life to help me grasp how much He must love me.   The words of Christ on the cross to the good thief are also a clear sign which moves my spirit to hopefulness as it relates to the great love of God and our hope for eternal life.

    My small minded, baseball-mom thinking boils down to this.  “If I love these sweaty, stinky boys so much, and NO MATTER WHAT and can’t imagine not wanting them near me….how much MORE must OUR AWESOME GOD desire the same of all His children?”

    Further, the Catholic Church has made numerous proclamations about people in heaven—the saints!  It has never made a similar proclamation of even one person being condemned to hell, because we Catholics commend all people to the mercy of God.

    So, even though some of my Catholic “heroes”, who were clearly brilliant and divinely inspired people (examples such as Sts. Thomas Aquinas and Augustine) believed and wrote extensively about how few  the “elect”, and even though Jesus spoke about that narrow gate, I choose to put my trust in the love of God.

    At the end of the day, here’s what I learned from my assignment on “sin”.  It makes a ton of sense that my tolerance of myself and my own sinfulness is very much a pendulum which runs from nearly presumptuous patience to fairly reproachful scrupulosity.

    After all, part of me wonders if only the “lucky” who live a good life and who quit breathing shortly after the perfect confession will see God forever.  HOWEVER, the larger part of me is much more Universalist.  Perhaps that’s naïve, overly hopeful, or presumptive.  Perhaps it’s just my way—BUT– as the simple and usually sunny mayor of “Shellyville”, I choose hope.  I hope that I will live in eternal happiness with God.  I hope He will fill me with enough grace that I will love Him enough to repent for my sins large and small.  I hope I will do so more out of love than fear.

    Bishop Fulton Sheen said this, “Conscience tells us when we do wrong so we feel on the inside as if we have broken a bone.  The bone hurts because it is not where it ought to be.”

    With all the authority I have as mayor of (very) sparsely populated Shellyville, I move that we all pray for properly formed consciences, through which the Holy Spirit will encourage us after each mistake to turn towards our God and walk in HIS light once more, like little children, submitting to the will of our loving Father, simply because He is our Father and He knows best.

    I choose hope.

  • Send Your Card to Newtown

    This reached me and was felt in the most interior places in my heart.  As difficult as it is, I hope that you will appreciate seeing it and be moved to pray.  And buy a stamp.

    I received this from Fr. Christopher Roberts of St. Alphonsus Catholic Church in Zionsville, Indiana.  The note below is from the sister of Fr. Luke Suarez, Associate Pastor at St. Rose of Lima Catholic Church in Newtown, CT.

    priests-weepingFrom the sister of the Associate Pastor at St. Rose of Lima:

    My friends, All of you, I am sure, have heard so much about the tragedy in Newtown, CT. Many of you have received emails from me about my younger brother, Father Luke Suarez, who is a priest at St. Rose of Lima parish, a Catholic church just down the road from Sandy Hook Elementary. He, and his pastor, Monsignor Weiss, arrived at the school within moments of the shooting, and have been caring for the community ever since. The picture I have included was taken at the school.

    Father Luke has an impossible task before him. His diocese is without a bishop right now…. Monsignor … is personally devastated by the losses. The parish is very large…. The rectory has received serious threats, and as my brother gave the homily Sunday at the noon mass, the church had to be evacuated by SWAT teams. After experiencing identity theft and online hacking incidents, he had to erase all of his internet accounts. After a weekend of endless media requests, notifications and vigils with heartbroken families, and little sleep, he now has two wakes and two funerals every day, until the fourth Sunday of Advent. Father Luke has not even been ordained two years.

    My large family has been trying to send Father Luke our love and support from afar, and one of my brothers was able to visit with him briefly a couple times. All he asks for is prayer. I have been wracking my brain, trying to think of a way that our beautiful, loving community could tangibly reach out to Father Luke, Monsignor Weiss, and the St. Rose parish, to support them in this most awful of times. I have sent many prayer requests, and I am asking for more prayers again. But I also want to ask everyone to search their hearts, and if the Holy Spirit moves you,please consider sending one of your family’s Christmas cards to the rectory, with a few words of love and encouragement. Here is his address:

    Father Luke Suarez

    46 Church Hill Road

    Newtown, CT 06470

    My brother has said over and over again that without the prayer support he is receiving, he could not keep going. And this week is only the beginning. Everyone there is still in shock. Their peaceful home has been desecrated by violence. They will need to live with this sorrow forever.

    But in our weakness is His strength. Grace abounds. Can you help me carry him through this time of trial? On a hopeful note, Father Luke did say that no media coverage has even touched the deep, beautiful awakening of faith that has occurred there. Their tiny church, where my children have received sacraments and where Luke was ordained, has been full of people in prayer without ceasing since this tragedy happened. Love is stronger than death. Please feel free to share the address with your family, friends, and community. An outpouring of love will sustain these good priests through their impossible ministry–impossible on their own, but possible with God. I am so grateful to live in this community. We are all so blessed with one another. Every day, I see you all loving one another as Christ loved.

    Thank you for letting me reach out to you now.

    With humble appreciation.

  • Holy Silence at OLMC

    Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Parish, Carmel, IN

    Today, I returned to a place I had vowed to avoid—the perpetual adoration chapel at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel (OLMC).  OLMC is conveniently situated a couple of miles to the west of my son’s high school, Guerin Catholic.   It’s much closer if you want to make 8am mass after carpool than my own parish—which I want to state for the record that I love– before you read on.

    Still, I have been steering clear of OLMC.  Allow me to explain.

    Several months ago, I visited the OLMC chapel during my son’s baseball practice which was nearby.  40 minutes or so with Jesus would be good, I thought.  So, as I walked in there, I think I spot a friend (which I am not expecting since it’s not my parish)….so I am distracted a bit.  One hand is in holy water, the other holding my purse, and my shoes are damp from the wet pavement.  All this and I am attempting to genuflect.  I fall right on my rear.  I kind of land half in the lap of some old gray haired guy.  I take a big, dramatic, humiliating tumble.

    The man is worried am I ok, and I get up as quick as I can, find a seat, and just put my head down hoping to never raise it again.  My cell phone starts to buzz.  I drop it on the floor grabbing for it, and parts scatter.  No one is praying at this point, and I am officially a menace.  There were probably 15 people in that chapel.  It was a full house.

    Then, a woman says, “let us pray together the litany of humility”.  The gray hair comes toward me, puts his hand on my back, kind of rubs it….and hands me the prayer.  He whispers, “maybe you want to pray along.”

    Humiliating?  Yes.

    For the unfamiliar, here is the dreadful prayer.

    LITANY OF HUMILITY

    O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
    From the desire of being esteemed,
    Deliver me, Jesus.

    From the desire of being loved…
    From the desire of being extolled …
    From the desire of being honored …
    From the desire of being praised …
    From the desire of being preferred to others…
    From the desire of being consulted …
    From the desire of being approved …
    From the fear of being humiliated …
    From the fear of being despised…
    From the fear of suffering rebukes …
    From the fear of being calumniated …
    From the fear of being forgotten …
    From the fear of being ridiculed …
    From the fear of being wronged …
    From the fear of being suspected …

    That others may be loved more than I,
    Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

    That others may be esteemed more than I …
    That, in the opinion of the world,
    others may increase and I may decrease …
    That others may be chosen and I set aside …
    That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
    That others may be preferred to me in everything…
    That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.

    I decided after that day that the people of OLMC deserve a break from yours truly.  A permanent break.

    Today, I returned to morning mass at OLMC because a friend wanted company.  I admit my own tank was a little low, as was my enthusiasm.

    But then, I arrived.  As I walked in, I remembered they observe a beautiful holy silence in their chapel and in the church.  Jesus is present in the tabernacle behind the altar, and also in the perpetual adoration chapel nearby.  You cannot miss this fact, because you feel the respect of everyone present by their observance of silence.

    As with most daily masses everywhere I’ve been, morning mass is quick at OLMC, but here it’s not rushed.  The friend who accompanied me noticed a “special vibe” in that place.  She noticed it after mass in the chapel where we prayed kneeling next to each other.  She noticed it in the beautiful wall tapestries which contain images of several saints.  Most of all, she noticed it in the amazing numbers of parishioners who were present to receive the Eucharist and to pray in His presence in the chapel.  Joy was palpable on her face and in my own heart too from the lovely grace-filled morning.

    This is when I had today’s light bulb moment.

    Gathering as a community does not make a group holy, any more than attending mass makes an individual holy.  God uses grace as a tool to mold His church, to correct her, to grant us a collective passion for others, and to enable us to love Him, each other and the world.  Some means of grace are personal—like solitude, or the sacrament of reconciliation.  Others are corporate—like the mass—or a Jesus loving parish who welcomes visitors with the gift of holy silence and their collective witness of faith.  It’s about doing small things with great love, just as Mother Teresa famously said.

    People of OLMC, my hat is off today to you.

    Thank you for preparing for mass in prayerful silence.  Thank you for sharing your well prepared priest, Fr. Adam Mauman, and for the witness of the reverent server (whose name I do not know).  Thank you for reaching with two hands at the sign of peace.  Thank you for sharing your sunshine filled adoration chapel.  Thank you for knowing all the words to “Sanctus” in Latin.  I’d like to learn them.   It was all beautiful.

    I left OLMC having received bread for the journey, my empty tank refilled and my heart renewed today with love of Jesus I saw in those around me.

    “If only one little child is made happy with the love of Jesus…will it not be worth…..giving all for that?”  Mother Teresa

  • Helping after the Fire

    Kelly Hauschild, you are loved!

    Bear one another’s burdens and so you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Gal 6:2)

    Two days ago, I posted the following note on my Facebook page, and initially, it was emailed it to the 7th grade families at my son’s school, St. Louis de Montfort Catholic School (SLDM), in Fishers, Indiana.

     SLDM Friends,

     Over the weekend, SLDM teacher, Kelly Hauschild, who teaches 7th and 8th graders, suffered a house fire. She has a large family (7 in all) and they are now in a hotel until temporary housing can be secured. I am collecting money tomorrow morning in front of church before mass (I have a light blue minivan), and also in the narthex after mass for this family. In addition, I will be in the carpool line tomorrow afternoon (Wed. 14th). If any of you would like to make a contribution, I will add your generosity to our “gift card” fund. We are getting gift cards to a few restaurants as well as a superstore where she can get needed food, clothing, and household items as they are necessary in the next several weeks. I’m putting a short leash on the collection time frame so that I can get her the gift cards by Thursday. I realize that many of you have young children and haven’t met Kelly yet. As a parent of 2 children Kelly has taught the ins and outs of Algebra, Geometry and Religion over the past 3 years, I can tell you she is an outstanding and faith filled woman. I know she will be humbled and truly grateful for any support from the SLDM family. If you are unable to assist monetarily, that is absolutely fine. Your prayers will be needed and appreciated as well!! Feel free to pass this along to anyone you think who might like to help.

    Now, it’s Thursday.  Help came.

    Will $3000 worth of gift cards and cash magically solve the challenges faced by the Hauschild family?  Of course it won’t.  They have months of recovery ahead of them, temporary housing to locate, a home to rebuild and a Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner that no longer looks as they wish and certainly not as they anticipated.

    If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.  –Mother Teresa

    A hastily gathered gift, given in love, will hopefully help bridge the gap until insurance paperwork and inevitable red tape leads to actual assistance, a temporary housing solution and life back on track.  Kelly’s co-workers and the administration at SLDM are collecting funds, and clothing is being gathered as we speak for the children.  When I saw Kelly and Jeff yesterday, her jacket covered in ashes from sifting through the damaged house,  and him with a harrowing story of escaping the house during the fire, I could clearly see there will be an ongoing need for help.  I am certain it will be forthcoming.

    BUT.  To me, here’s the silver lining.

    Yesterday, in ONE DAY, with no time to think, the amazing people of St. Louis de Montfort wrapped Kelly, Jeff and their 5 children in love.  They simply rolled down their car windows and emptied their wallets, no questions asked, to do what they can.

    My beloved faith community– YOU were the face of Christ.

    The Kingdom of God is among you. (LK 17:21). 

    One of my favorite authors and homilists, the charmingly abrasive Fr. Larry Richards, said this morning via Twitter, “We are to bring God’s kingdom to everyone—He is within you so show Him today!”

    And that is just what you did, SLDM.  I am so proud to call you friends.  Nicely done.

    Prayers continue.

  • If Jesus is Batman…

    “Are you kidding me?  You’re telling me when we put the Flavor-ice popsicles in the freezer THAT is condensation?  You put them in the FREEZER to FREEZE them!! This is ridiculous!!  I am not going to help you if you aren’t even going to try!”  — Me, to my 8 year old son

    Suffice it to say, the brilliant and patient science teachers of the world need not fear I am coming for their jobs any time soon.  Further, my general homework/studying philosophy to date has gone something like this, “I already passed the 7th grade, now it’s your turn.”

    Have I helped renovate a science fair board, or given myriad spelling pretests, or assisted in researching the culture and political situation in Azerbaijan?  Heck yeah.  Have I edited essays and worn a path to our local CVS on endless supply runs?  Absolutely.

    Here’s the thing.  On rodeo #3, I seem to have fallen off the horse.  This is a horse of another color, you might say.  We have only just begun, and I am frustrated, and I am worried.

    Here’s my inner dialogue.  A good mom would know what to do.  A loving parent would have patient and loving answers and interactions. A God-filled mother would know how to close the gap caused by frustration and insecurity and would persevere confidently in the direction of success with her child.

    Me?  I yelled.  I lost my patience.  I wanted to do something else, anything else.  I shared this with a friend this week, and then confessed I prayed, asking Mary for assistance.  My non-Catholic friend said, “Mary?”  I said, “Yes, Mary, The mother Jesus?”

    “Ahh….THAT Mary!  You Catholic girls.  I don’t get the Mary thing.  When I need a filling, I don’t dial up my Dentist’s mom, Shelly.  Can you talk to me about what the story is with Mary?”

    I wanted my friend’s consolation.  Affirmation was the goal, then I wanted to head to Marsh for decongestant.  Apologetics was not on my mind.  I instantly recalled a great comment made by a friend several years ago at a CRHP meeting and I flippantly replied, “If Jesus is Batman, then Mary has the Bat phone.”

    Giggling.

    “Shelly.  Why not just pray to Jesus to help you be the mom you want to be?  That I would get.”

    Then, we proceeded to have this surprising interaction.  I asked her why it is that she asks me to pray for her, for her parents, and for others in her life who are struggling.   We talked about how lots of people ask others to pray for them.  Why do we do that?  Why not just talk to Jesus?

    I think there are a couple of reasons.  First of all, we don’t live on an island.  We need our friends.  Others have compassion that we need to help us through this life, they stand in the gap for us—they intercede.  Our friends, family members– all can be helps in our relationship with Jesus.

    Second of all, and this is a new revelation to me.  My Lutheran friend said to me “Well, I don’t pray to dead people.”

    Here’s where the conversation ended for today, but I have been thinking about it ever since.

    I should have said, “People in heaven are alive.  This is what I believe.”  It’s a fundamental belief that I mistakenly took for granted entering into the chat.

    I think of Mary as the original prayer warrior.  She doesn’t say much in the bible, but she does tell us that her role forever to the end of the ages is to magnify Jesus.

    Let’s keep in mind here that like most good cradle Catholics I have encountered, I know virtually zero about scripture.  BUT…..I am familiar with the Magnificat.

    My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my savior.  For he has looked upon his handmaid’s lowliness, behold, from now on will all ages call me blessed.  The Mighty one has done great things for me, and holy is his name.  His mercy is from age to age to those who fear him.  He has shown might with his arm, dispersed the arrogant of mind and heart.  He has thrown down the rulers from their thrones, but lifted up the lowly.  The hungry he has filled with good things, the rich he has sent away empty.  He has helped Israel his servant, remembering his mercy, according to his promise to our fathers, to Abraham and his descendants forever. (Luke 1:46-55)

    So, reading this, which is just lovely and beautiful playing in my head as a song, it seems self-evident to me that praying for her intercession isn’t worship and it cannot take focus away from the one who saved us—her son!  In eternity, her sole job in my simple mind is to lead us to Him.

    Does it diminish our relationship with Jesus to have devotion to Mary or enjoy Marian prayers?  If it’s useful for our friends on earth to pray for us, then isn’t it possible those in heaven are even more equipped?  I mean, who do you ask to pray for you when you REALLY need prayer?  The holiest people you know, right??  Devotion to Mary doesn’t deify Mary…..it simply indicates incredible respect.

    Writing this post about Mary was my way of making amends to her son, who I love, for the flippant initial response when I encountered the opportunity to chat with my friend about the queen of heaven.

    We do not slight the son when we honor the mother.  –St. Louis de Montfort

    I feel like its possible God wasn’t really all that interested in consoling me about my poor behavior or soothing my bruised little feelings.   I concede it’s more than probable that all of this was God’s way of pointing me to the greatest example of motherhood that exists.

    Lucky for me, the greatest mother ever always takes calls from her children outside normal business hours.

    Hail Mary, full of grace…..