“I have made a pact with my tongue, not to speak when my heart is disturbed.” (St. Francis de Sales)
Sometimes, I get melancholy or overwhelmed. It causes me to ramble. That’s not usually because I need someone to cheer me up, just that speaking the mess into the world helps it to exit the maze in my head. Exhaling. It’s incredibly healthy. Perhaps that’s not quite the experience had by the “victim” of these outbursts, mind you. Usually I vomit them out in frenzied spasms via text. These fits are often laced with “charming” eruptions of sarcasm which can ring up quite a tally on the little red messages flag on a person’s Iphone. I have a giftedness for texting that few can match. To those elect few upon whom I have preyed with my drivel, I offer my sincerest apologies. It’s 2021, and I’m vowing to work on it.
That said, I’ve reviewed my outgoing messages, and I am going to need to make a positive interior adjustment regardless of the times in which you and I live, with all it’s tremendous challenges. I implore you to consider it too, because MANY of you have shared with me that you are being sucked into the rabbit hole (aka vortex of evil)– often with considerable aid from what’s on the TV or online. I’m going to dig in the dark for a moment to explain why I think we need to make a profound shift, for the sake of our mental and spiritual health. For those who want to remain on the ride, I promise to end with hope.
Right now, there’s a plethora of politicians, experts and celebrities posing as journalists who are anxious to spread fear and loathing in all forms of media. They use words like “unity” and then publicly eviscerate those who disagree with them in the very next sentence. It’s discouraging. My husband suggested that he wishes that under their names on the chyron at the bottom of the screen it would say either “commentator” or “journalist”. I don’t think we have many of the latter still around, if I’m honest. Those are the increasingly extinct folks I’d rather hear from on my news sources. A counselor friend told me this week that at her care facility, suicides among the young are up 600% in the past year. Anxiety, depression, division and animosity abound, as do masks, social distancing, and nearly every avenue of connection to our common humanity. We hesitate to even help a struggling, fragile senior citizen to load their groceries as this new year begins. “Stay back” our interior “Covid Compliance Officer” chants, while our heart aches, knowing what charity requires. Our patience is limited and hopelessness is all around us. The rancor between even friends and family over many things is untenable. This, folks, is actually NOT a new problem. History is filled with such moments. Here’s some very timely food for thought from St. Augustine–and he died in the year 430 AD for goodness sakes!
Bad times, hard times- this is what people keep saying: but let us live well and times shall be good. We are the times. Such as we are, such are the times.
I have to choose better. We have to choose better. I propose we practice the great sacramental pause.
That is, we must remember to whom you and I belong– and we belong to the Lord of the universe. I must maintain mercy towards myself, and you towards yourself. You are infinitely more valuable than the most expensive things offered on the earth. Sense your deep goodness, and realize you and I are both made in the image and likeness of God. Remember that the Lord loves you more than you love your children, parents, spouse, or dearest friends. He loves even the guy who made the ignorant and hateful comment on Twitter that much too.
He’s the one who gives humans life, who makes us capable and responsible to love and care for ourselves and for each other. We were made for love. I believe in hope and it’s rooted in faith.
I’m Catholic. Many folks of my particular Christian persuasion have made some grave and disgusting errors in the name of Christ. To those who brush aside my assertion that faith is the answer based on these dreadful facts, I have a quote to share. It’s a quote I shared with my oldest son when he was questioning his faith, and I believe in it’s truth. Also, it makes me laugh a little.
“The Catholic Church is an institution I am bound to hold divine– but for unbelievers a proof of it’s divinity might be found in the fact that no merely human institution conducted with such knavish imbecility would have lasted a fortnight.” (Hilare Belloc)
Here’s the thing. I love my country despite its very obvious imperfections and those of it’s leaders. I truly believe it’s the greatest place on the planet to live south of heaven itself. So too, I love Jesus with all that I am, despite the tremendous flaws of His church here on earth. Also, I love all you weirdos carrying your freak flags around. Yes, all of you. Each of your lives is precious and I invite you to reach out to me if ever you find yourself in doubt of the same– the coffee and smile are on me. I’d ask you to consider doing the same when you notice the next guy seems a tad glum.
Do you see that quote by St. Francis de Sales up there at the top of this entry? I find it inspiring. Also, I have never had much luck holding my tongue, as illustrated by the fact that I am writing a blog post this very moment. But I’ve been quiet a little longer than usual in this space, because I want to add sunshine and the light of Christ to any place I inhabit and I want to do it authentically. I’d like to think that you want the same in your life, and it can be hard to do that when we ourselves seem to be out of sorts. But God has not relinquished control, so CHINS UP, people!
My phone rang while I was at mass early last week. It was my oldest son. I let it go, making a note to call Nick back after mass. Then, just about 2 minutes later, he called again and my heart stopped a little. The dreaded double call. He’d been in a serious accident. He sounded dazed while telling me he had hit a patch of black ice and lost control. He got a face full of airbags and his trusty old high school Xterra was no match for the concrete barrier. But he was okay. Thanks be to God!
It was a stark reminder that this life goes by fast. We can’t languish in unpleasant thoughts. That’s the devil’s playground. Also, we shouldn’t take for granted our many blessings or waste the gifts of the Lord. That kid of mine was wearing Buzz Lightyear pajamas, it seems, a moment ago, and now he’s a first year financial analyst at a bank in Cincinnati! I’m not saying I’m at all happy Nick hit that patch of ice, but it shook me loose. I got in my car as soon as the weekend hit, and I went to help my kiddo bounce back. He’d need to purchase his first car, and I wanted it to be a happy day, even though it wasn’t in his plans for himself this winter. I don’t want to waste a minute of this precious gift of life given to me by our good and gracious God. What can I add to this world? I can love more profoundly and forgive more quickly, among other good things…and then I must trust God and leave the remainder in His hands.
We found him a pretty badass 4-year old Ford F-150. His first installment loan and only 6 months of employment history meant he needed a co-signer. It reminded me of needing the exact same thing in 1994, when my Dad co-signed the loan for my first car, a Toyota Camry. I felt so excited and proud that day, and I wanted Nick to try and forget his sore neck and bruised up chest and just know he was loved, and feel the joy and pride of his first new car. Those four hours traveling to and from Cincy feel like they were worth every second.
My point is that our little acts of love are NOT so little.
We are the conduits of grace needed by the faithful saints in heaven whose powerful intercession we must call upon often. As St. Augustine also rightly said, “God provides the wind, but man must raise the sails.” The Blessed Mother is the queen of that impressive group we call upon, and momma to each of us. So we pray. Then pray some more. The heavenly arm of saints and angels stands ready to help us in our weakness. Pray not out of fear and trembling, but confidently. We are the beloved daughters and sons of the Most High and He’s crazy about us! He loves when we ask for help– just like I was when I got Nick’s call to assist with the car process.
Next time I see that little old lady at Fresh Thyme, I’ll be offering to load her groceries for her, even if the “Covid Compliance Officer” living in my brain thinks it’s not the move in 2021. If she doesn’t want my help, so be it. I’ll simply offer a “God Bless You” in that case and know that somehow in the offer, Jesus used me for His purpose. So, why not pray now? Or call your aunt today? Today seems like a good day to meet your lonely friend and go for a walk, or share your leftover chili with Grandpa Tom. Who cares if it’s cold– the sun is out– and you own a coat!
SUCH AS WE ARE, SUCH ARE THE TIMES. Right on, Augustine!
My prayers today are offered for our young people. +JMJ+