Tag Archives: Humility

Your Sweater’s on Inside Out

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Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.  –CS Lewis.

Typically, my neighbor schleps Zach to school each morning.  I’m the afternoon shift.  The carpool pickup slot has some cons to consider… waiting endlessly in a parking lot, kids eating leftover Doritos in the backseat, and fairly large arguments about who spotted the yellow car and first yelled, “SKITTLE!!!!”  However, on the plus side, the carpool pickup slot which is assigned to yours truly occurs during this coveted time called afternoon.  The morning?  It happens pretty early.

“Wow the morning people have a quiet gig, ” I thought to myself as I shivered all the way to SLDM this morning.  Considering the early hour of exit, I was in pretty solid spirits.  “Look at me all showered and dressed in this (low-key) adorable outfit, and it’s only 7am!” Positively self-congratulatory, I was in the pre-dawn carpool line.

Passing off the dress clothes for the junior high dance, the CYO uniform for the big game at OLMC in the morning, and the overnight bag, (all belonging to my little man), I knew this day was destined for greatness.  I really have got my act together this fine Friday.  My dear friend Renee, victim of the handoff, is one of those people who can wear pjs during the daytime or throw on a ball cap and still look darling. When I try that, well, picture a rounder version of Gilda Radner as Roseanne Roseannadanna on SNL.  Too young to have the vision?  Google it.  She was hysterical and with hair that looked like it had been electrocuted.  Today, though, I had it going on.  Guerin Catholic purple and black, warm and cozy black boots and purple nail polish too!  BOOM!

I was ready to take on the world.  I had a long list of (mostly Christmas) errands, and I was already dressed for the big game against the cross-town rival.  I had a date planned pre-game with my sweetie, AND I had time to start my day at mass.  YEAH ME!!

Taking my favorite seat up front so I can be close to Jesus, I prayed for so many people and I was pretty proud of the fact that I had written down their names this time.  The world is full of hurting hearts and broken bodies.  I gave them all to God.  I was feeling groovy.  As I grabbed my coat and turned to go, there was a tap on my shoulder.  “Shelly, your sweater is on inside out. If I were you, I would want to know.”

HAHAHAHA!!!  The lightbulb came on instantly.  Message received, Lord.

It’s good you were here, Shelly, but hello?  Forget to thank anyone for your zillions of blessings?  Psalm 90, my dear girl.  Try reading it. That’s what I heard interiorly with the tap on my shoulder.

He’s gentle and He’s patient.  Pride is about my glory; humility is about God’s glory.  I feel like I read that in Ephesians somewhere.  Maybe I need to read the whole book and find that bit of scripture.  I’m pretty sure God isn’t so impressed with people who watch themselves worship and who don’t bother thanking Him.

Thank you, Lord for opening my eyes to Your blessings and the grace to acknowledge who You are and how You love me this day and always.  And, Lord, thanks for smiling at me even when I act like an idiot.  I’m going to try opening with gratefulness tomorrow. I love you too. 

Yours, Shelly

I might be slightly less amazing than I led myself to believe this morning.  BUT, I am still a truly beloved child of God AND SO ARE YOU.  Let’s help each other remember that one, huh?

Waiting for Your Chance to Talk?

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guardianangelfrustratedHave you ever had a moment when you realize that instead of truly listening, you are merely waiting for your chance to talk?  (All you truly patient and humble parents who would scarcely even consider interrupting your little angel as he recounts the how his older brother was playing unfairly or when he wants to tell you yet another knock-knock joke……well… you ladies and gents can stop reading here).

If you are still with me, then I want to transport you to a tiny little “minivan moment” from this afternoon.

“Mom?  Do you think it’s almost the end of the world?”

“Z, oh my!  What would make you ask that?”

“Well, Grandma Jane and Aunt Jennie have cancer.  Aunt Robbi, Mrs. Ferrucci and Mrs. Ryan all had kinda scary surgeries in the last couple weeks and you were at the hospital lots of times.  So, I was just wondering if maybe God is planning to bring the moms to Heaven first so when all the kids get there we won’t be scared.”

HOLY COW.  I didn’t realize his little mind was racing around trying to make sense of the chaos.  Except for the fact that we have been praying together a lot for all these truly terrific women in our lives, I didn’t even sense he noticed much.  For a moment, I felt a guilt-filled mom pang.  I knew he had been trying to tell me before this moment that he was worried, but I hadn’t been paying enough attention.

After I set aside the guilt, I thought “Our God is an Awesome God!”  How would we ever be able to make sense of anything without the gift of faith?  This silly little man in my world often reframes things through a Christ centered lens, and his comments often catch me off guard.  In his own little 9 year old way, Zach was being faithful, trusting God with his worries about his aunt, grandma, and the mothers of two of his close friends.  I have to say, I really love that.  It’s a terrific witness of faith from which I could learn much.

You don’t have to do much digging through scripture to find out what Jesus had to say about the wisdom of children and the often beautiful, faith filled example they provide.

When the chief priests and the scribes saw the wondrous things he was doing, and the children crying out in the temple area, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they were indignant and said to him, “Do you hear what they are saying?” Jesus said to them, “Yes, and have you never read the text, ‘Out of the mouths of infants and nurslings you have brought forth praise?” (Mt 21:15-16)

God’s instrument today for me was my sweet freckle-faced boy.  The spirit filled message:   Listen to others with the intention to understand, and never forget that faith is a grace filled gift from our amazing God!!

I do believe it’s possible that the most pressing communication foible we suffer from, collectively, is simply being inattentive.   Instead of focusing on others, we are thinking about what we will say or do next.   I wonder what incredible gifts God has given me that I have missed because I am thinking about me instead of the person to whom I am supposed to be directing my attention– really hearing?

It’s time to drag out that Litany of Humility again before some wise priest issues it to me as a penance……..AGAIN.

Am I the only one suffering from a recurrent case of this listening but not listening malady?  Who’s with me?

The litany of humility asks for our Lord’s assistance in humbly following in His footsteps and casting aside, or at least offering up to Him, all those issues that come with our self-centeredness.  I am convinced that the fact that each time I read this prayer and never fail to think it is positively dreadful is a sure sign I need to pray it.

LITANY OF HUMILITY

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, Jesus. (repeat after each line)

 From the desire of being loved,

 From the desire of being extolled,

 From the desire of being honored,

 From the desire of being praised,

 From the desire of being preferred to others,

From the desire of being consulted,

 From the desire of being approved,

 From the fear of being humiliated,

 From the fear of being despised,

 From the fear of suffering rebukes,

 From the fear of being calumniated,

 From the fear of being forgotten,

 From the fear of being ridiculed,

 From the fear of being wronged,

 From the fear of being suspected,

 That others may be loved more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.  (repeat after each line)

 That others may be esteemed more than I ,

 That, in the opinion of the world,

 others may increase and I may decrease,

 That others may be chosen and I set aside,

 That others may be praised and I unnoticed,

 That others may be preferred to me in everything,

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should,  

Jesus grant me the grace to desire it.

PS.  For what it’s worth, I sent a text to Aunt Robin.  She made a “facetime” call immediately to her nephew after hearing about his concerns.  Seeing her smiling face did wonders for Zach’s apocalyptic mood.  Get well fast, sis!  We have a vitally important appointment with Poolbar Jim we simply cannot miss!!

Shelly 2.0

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What’s wrong with you people?  Why can’t you understand how special I am?MotherTeresa

I mean sure, I have a little bit of a patience issue this week, but the sun hasn’t been out in months here and I am a tax season widow–so there are special circumstances.  Plus, I’ll grant you that I’m well past the pleasantly plump label at this point, but you have to keep in mind the medical challenges and my personal history.  It’s been too cold to exercise EVERYDAY.   I mean, the time hasn’t been right.  It’s a special case.  The laundry might be a smidge backed up, and I forgot to take the trash cans in AGAIN.  The “house” part of “housewife” is constantly giving me fits.  But you see, I have 3 boys playing on five teams right now who need to be carpooled to 2 different schools everyday…. and I hosted Easter last week and this weekend was my youngest son’s first communion.  We were celebrating.  We’re really busy.  It’s spring break.  I’m sure you’ll agree that’s different.  It’s a special situation.  I could go on, but I think you get the idea.

ENOUGH.  My “special” attitude isn’t working.

It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels. — St. Augustine

Ever feel like you’re overdue for an attitude change, a behavior shift?  If failure drives change, then I guess I am in the middle of a new experience with freedom here.   There is a certain freedom, after all, in knowing I don’t have to worry about screwing up anymore.  It’s happened.  I’ve already done it.  BUT, I hear without failure, there is no growth.

Growth in my case seems to mean I need to come to grips with being a little smaller.  Pun intended.  I mean it literally and in a figurative way.  Now might be time to put down the goldfish crackers and come to grips with my nothingness.

A friend of mine who has survived a long ugly battle with leukemia told me once that she wakes up every day and no matter how crappy she feels, she wants to do something positive for someone else.

Karen is clearly on to something.  It’s time to start waking with a new attitude.  So, I decided a change is in order–less me, more God.  If God is love, then I am going to thank God for the day He has given me by doing something that makes someone smile.  Inspire someone.  Be someone’s light.  Love more.

I prayed about it and I thought about it and I committed to a turnaround.  Let’s go!

Cue reality.   The day before yesterday, my internet went out.  This isn’t a new problem.  We live in a not so bright house, if you catch my drift.   I unplugged it then turned the modem back on.  Nada.  Then, I waited for a miracle.  If a particular service has been dead more than 24 hours, I let my fingers do the walking.  The nice gal tried at the cable company to work her long distance techno magic, but the pinging was to no avail.  She decided I needed a new modem and scheduled a service call for today.

A few hours later, I noticed that my land line was dead.  Since we have the same provider for the phone, internet and cable, I decided I would dial them again from my cell phone and add this issue.  The words of Mother Teresa rolled around in my mind.  Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.  Okay real life, here we go.

That’s when I noticed that the dead modem was looking more alive and my email was operational.  So, I hooked up via cell phone with my good friends at Brighthouse and a customer service gal who identified herself as Vicki answered.  Here’s how our conversation progressed.

“M’am, I see we already have a service call scheduled for tomorrow.  Do you need to reschedule?”

“Vicki, no I don’t.  I just need to chat with you for a second.  You see, when I called earlier for service and talked to the other gal, it was my internet that was out.  Now it’s my phone.  But the internet is working again.  The modem has come out of its coma for now.”

“Oh, okay.  So you want to cancel the internet technician but have a phone tech visit instead?”

“Well, Vicki, not really.”

“Mrs. Thieme, I am so sorry you’re having trouble but you don’t need to get upset, I will do what I can to help.”

“Listen, Vicki.   You can relax and call me Shelly.  No one has cancer over here.  I’m not worked up at all and there won’t be any phone rage.  This isn’t an emergency of any kind.  It’s just that I am bummed I am paying for phone, internet and cable and I don’t think all three have ever been working at the same time for a solid week since we moved here.  I already know all your technicians.  Can we talk?”

“Thank you for being nice M’am.  What can I do?”

“Well, Vicki, I know you have thousands of customers.   There’s nothing special about me or my house.  I am just thinking maybe we can talk about what other options you have there.  Do you guys have a team of super smart geeks you send out to call on the houses of people who are yelling and talking about unfair treatment?  I kinda want a shot at those guys.  Only I am going to be nice and try to make them eat super yummy cinnamon bread that I am now not allowed to eat myself so they will stay long enough to untangle the technology cluster going on over here.”

Audible giggles.  “M’am.  Shelly, I mean.  Can you hold for a minute while I do something I say I am going to do but rarely actual do?”

“You’re going to talk to a supervisor, aren’t you?”

“Yes M’am, please hold”.

“Thank you for holding for so long and being so nice.  I’ve checked your account.  I think we can do a better job for you.  I’ve asked permission to give you a promotional discount we give to new customers.  Your bill will be $61 less per month from now on.  Oh, and this month you have been given a $50 credit.”

“Vicki.  That’s so kind.  Thank you for doing that!  I’m not sure what possessed you but gosh I am grateful.”

“M’am.  I’ll tell you.  It’s three things.   You didn’t complain about being on hold for 42 minutes. You are so funny,  and best of all, you haven’t tried telling me how important or special your problems are one time.”

Hmm.  I think she just said she was extra nice to me because I know I’m NOT SPECIAL.  Haha!!  Okay, God.  I hear you commenting on my change.  Shelly 2.0 it is.

“Our technicians will be at your house tomorrow between 8am and 10am.  Is that okay?”

“Vicki.  I feel like you used a plural word.  Did you say technicianzzzz?”

“Yes, M’am.  I did my best.  Thank you so much for being really nice.  Good luck.”

Pope Francis said, “The sin that repulses me most is pride and thinking oneself as a big shot” in an interview for a book written about him by Sergio Rubin in 2010.  He said when it happened to him, “I have felt great embarrassment and I ask God for forgiveness because nobody has the right to behave like this.”

Seems like our new pope might be working with more updated software than yours truly.

Version 2.0:  Less me, more others, more love, more God.

Amen.