He Never Misses

Category: Catholicism

  • He’s NOT Wearing Green

    Life is beautiful; It is a gift even when it is lived in difficult circumstances.  It is always a gift.  (Pope Benedict XVI)

    One of my rarely broken rules of this blog involves not invoking stories which include what could be construed as unflattering tidbits about my husband, Tom. You see, I’m pretty into harmonious marriage. For the sake of making a point which I feel is valuable, I’m letting that one go today. He’s working so many hours right now, maybe he won’t notice, ha?

    Tom and I, at our anniversary dinner. It wasn’t 6:45am when this was taken. Ha!

    As you likely know, today is St. Patrick’s Day. I got up a few minutes early so that I could dig out some appropriately green clothing item and still get to 8am mass on time. Like any sane long married couple, we usually start our days best when NOT sharing bathroom space first thing in the morning. I like sleeping in and Tom likes seeing zero other humans, so it usually works out.

     Use of blow dryers is frowned upon in the wee hours, as is casual conversation.  Tom is NOT a morning person.  In fact, my irritatingly cheerful “Good morning!” used to be greeted with “Is it, though?”  I outed my handsome guy on that one, and he’s curtailed it.  I’m proud of him, as I know it’s not easy being married to me, especially at 6:45am.

    Today, my mistake was pointing out that he wasn’t wearing green.  “Do you think I give a rip about wearing green?” he barked. I retorted by pointing out that his Irish grandmother is looking down disapprovingly at this move and steered him to the area with the green golf shirts just begging to be chosen.  My idea was summarily and immediately rejected. 

    Transparency is important here.  It’s tax season for my favorite CPA.  When I went to bed well after 11pm, he was still in our home office working.  Also, we’re on the verge of WWIII, it costs $100 to fill up a tank with gas, the pandemic refuses to end, and his Dad has end stage colon cancer.  This moment in history is a difficult one for so many of us.  Some of the reasons we share, and some are our own crosses.

    Voracious.  That’s the word I’d assign to myself where reading is concerned.  I definitely read my fair share of beach smut, but I am also drawn to historical works—fiction and nonfiction.  Many of my favorite books are based on the stories of ordinary heroes who stepped into the gap for the sake of others at some of the most cruel and terrifying moments of World War II.  For much the same reason, I am inspired by the stories of the saints.  The tie that binds the most inspiring people I’ve read about is hope.  They were hopeful folks, which allowed them to be fully present in the moment.

    Hopeful people show others the light.  They are sacrificial and kind.  They raise money for one small family fleeing the Ukraine.  They show up with Starbucks on a rainy day.  They clear a stranger’s sidewalk of snow or offer to take a friend to the airport.  Hopeful people are upbeat, cheerful, sanguine and they keep the faith.  Interiorly, there is something inside these heroes.  I’ll call it grace.  This grace allows folks to somehow intuit that they start the world spinning again towards peace, towards compassion.

    Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier. (Colin Powell)

    The Lord isn’t calling most of us to do something as dramatic as say, St. Maximilian Kolbe.  He was a polish priest who volunteered to die in place of another man (who had a wife and children) at Auschwitz.  However, Jesus might be calling you and I to be beacons of hope. 

    Are you feeling down?  The absolute best solution that exists is to be present in the day you’re living and think “what can I do to make someone else’s day sunnier?”  Then, just choose one small, optimistic thing.  Call your Dad.  Buy coffee for the fireman you see at Panera.  Teach a first grader how to play “crazy 8’s”.  Pray a decade of the rosary for a friend—then tell her!  These signs of hope send goodness into the world, and it is transformed.  The same goes for your own heart. 

    I’ll give you a personal example.  At the beginning of the year, I was having a particularly blue week.  I then learned that several of the regular volunteers at the Merciful Help Center (a food pantry and so much more) near me were all out with Covid.  I offered to fill in for a day doing whatever was needed.  The hours that I spent that day simply making phone calls to folks in need were nothing special—or so I thought.  The truth is, that day left my bucket filled.  When we focus on what we can do for someone else, the Lord has a magical way of using our compassion for the good of folks in our path to other ends as well.    

    Hopefulness expressed outwardly is a big fat “Get behind me, Satan.” 

    The world is full of overwhelmed people.  The danger of surrender to the collective consciousness, to the attitudes that surround us have long been a warning siren.  Mark (chapter 8) tells us “Do not go into the village” for what I personally think is this exact reason.  The polarization created by technology is absolutely an existential threat to us as well in this same way.  We can no longer agree on truth. 

    The solution I propose is this.  Focus on being the best friend you can.  Don’t wait to be invited.  Notice.  Listen.  Smile.  Give more than you take.  Make the time. 

    This past fall, I heard a great talk from a Dominican Sister.  My takeaway from that talk was the pairing of these gems spoken by our Blessed Mother.  They are out of wine…do whatever He tells you.

    In other words, if you spot someone whose eyes are are dead today, if it’s your own heart that’s battered, (or even if it’s just that your husband doesn’t even have the good sense to put on a green shirt on St. Patricks day, because life is just A LOT) first, notice who’s “out of wine”.  Then, listen to Jesus and do what He says. 

    My solution for Tom was pretty small. It won’t solve what ails him that I ran a couple errands specifically for him today or that I have pork chops waiting for him when he gets home (because no tense German guy wants corned beef after working a 14hr day) even if it is St. Patrick’s Day. Maybe, though, a little part of him will be assuaged by love.

    Trust in Him.  In defiance to all that is difficult or even evil, be hopeful today.  In optimism, there is victory. 

    St. Patrick, Pray for Us!

  • Curious Minds Wonder about Catholic Education

    Celebrating Catholic Schools Week 2022 with a Long-Winded Open Notes Tribute

    As a freshman in high school, I received a phone call from a mom with whom I was somewhat familiar.  I didn’t really know her daughter, but her name was Dawn, and she was a year younger than me. The family was contemplating a move to my Catholic high school.  They had a lot of questions and pre-conceived notions and worries about Catholic schools, yet they were drawn.  Some were correct, by the way, and some of their assumptions and concerns were utterly without merit.  It was the first time I received such an inquiry, but the next year, a similar call followed from a long-time family friend.  That trend has continued almost non-stop throughout my life.  I was 15 then, and I’m 50 now.  That’s a lot of years of clarifying, explaining, and offering my two cents.

    Pandemic experiences have rendered many folks a touch fragile. Worries about our children, their mental health, and the quality of the education they are receiving are absolute reasonable, in my view.  This has led to me to many more conversations than usual on this topic.  Here are some recent parent questions I thought were especially interesting, and the answers I have shared.  These are merely one gal’s personal perspective, mind you.  However, as this year’s Catholic Schools Week has largely been spent snowed in, it seemed a good way to honor both the phenomenal educators and the faith tradition I hold dear to share these in a more open format. 

    Q.  How much time do the kids spend on religion classes, mass and stuff like that?  I guess I’m worried they won’t get all the skills they need.

    A. You’re not asking the real question. You already know the education is solid or you wouldn’t be considering a move. What you’re asking yourself is, “How Catholic is it?” There are other options if what you want is a private education. Do you want a faith-based education for your child? Do you want them in an atmosphere that is saturated with the Catholic faith all day long, everyday? Kindness, charity, service, prayer, faith formation and intentional discipleship are at the heart of Catholic schools. Also, you should show up for one of those masses you’re worried about. They will cleanse your soul and renew your spirit with a wholesomeness you had forgotten existed. Have you ever heard or seen 750 kids singing worship music, at the top of their lungs like they’re at a rock concert? You have to see it to believe it, but it will melt your heart.

    Student section fun at the football game this fall.

    Q. I’ve heard Catholic Schools are just really over the top with rules and I wonder if my son will be frustrated?

    A.  Heck yes, your son will be frustrated at times.  He maybe won’t like having to wear khakis with a belt, and he definitely won’t like the no hoodie rule, and he’ll be annoyed that he’s required to do 30 hours of community service.  But do you know what you’ll like?  The same guy who sent him to detention because he didn’t have a belt on is likely to also be the guy who notices he needs a little extra love because he’s struggling with self-doubt, or a family situation.  His guidance counselor will know his name and will ask him how football season is going for him when she spots him in the hall.  The music teacher will notice he’s great with younger students and share that with the Campus minister one afternoon and before you know it he will be helping to lead a retreat group, or tutoring a struggling freshman in math.  Catholic schools are big on accountability and bigger on love.  Students and teachers in this kind of environment are encouraged and empowered to express their care and concern for one another in a way they simply cannot do in other schools.  The public schools in our area are phenomenal in many ways, but in a school that has winter break instead of Christmas break, Christian community isn’t part of the equation. Here, everywhere they turn they will find prayerful support.  Faith is alive in the hallways.  So, are there a lot of rules?  Sure there are.  He’ll live.  He’ll learn.  He’ll grow.

    Q. What is your favorite thing about the Catholic School experience?

    A. The community of faith-filled people!  Let me explain.  My mom is an incredible, caring human being. She was an amazing grade schoolteacher—a Golden Apple Award winner!!  I know she made a huge difference in the lives of her public school students and I am so proud of her.  That said, she never took her class to the chapel and skipped math class for the day because one of her 4th graders had a mom who was terminally ill and the youngster needed to be prayerfully supported.  Here’s another example.  My son and his high school tennis team gathered a couple hundred others and after school one day last fall, they prayed the rosary together at the grotto for their tennis coach who was in Boston to remove cancer from his brain.  The friends that surrounded my children throughout their school experiences were amazing kids and had families who were like-minded.  We knew they were safe in each other’s care.  Many of those folks remain our closest friends to this day.  That Christian community is one of our greatest blessings! 

    Q.  What is your least favorite thing about the Catholic School experience?

    A.  It’s expensive.  It’s also PRICELESS.

    LET US THANK ALL THOSE WHO TEACH IN CATHOLIC SCHOOLS.  EDUCATING IS AN ACT OF LOVE; IT IS LIKE GIVING LIFE.  – Pope Francis

    I hope in these questions and answers you will hear authenticity and genuine gratitude for my Catholic faith and the amazing gift of Catholic education in my own life and that of my children.  Its value is inestimable. If you’ve played a part in the Catholic School experience of our family as a teacher, pastor, administrator, or friend…THANK YOU! We love you.

    Lastly.  The fine print.

    I was asked (in a grocery store checkout line) to “qualify myself” on the matter of Catholic education.  So, for the sake of a stranger named Scott, any anyone else who cares to know, here’s my resume.

    I am the product of 12 years of Catholic school.  I attended grade school (1st-8th grades) at St. Lawrence Catholic School, followed by 4 years at Central Catholic High School—all in Lafayette, Indiana.  My husband, Tom and I met in high school.  He attended grade school at nearby St. Mary’s and middle school at St. Boniface in downtown Lafayette, before I met him at LCC.  We have three sons, ages 24, 22, and 17.  Next year when our youngest, Zach, graduates from Guerin Catholic High School, that will conclude 40 (individual) school years of tuition payments. Whew!  St. Louis de Montfort Catholic School in Fishers, IN graced our family with 24 of those blessed school years, twelve will have occurred at Guerin Catholic, and four were logged by Nick (our oldest) at Xavier University in Cincinnati. Nick now lives in Cincy and works for Fifth Third Bank. Drew, who is 22, graduated early from Purdue University and will finish his master’s degree in May before starting his career with a local accounting firm in Indianapolis. Zach, 17, will be a senior at Guerin Catholic in the fall of 2022. Someday, I’m hoping they bring me armloads of grandchildren to babysit, but for today, I’ll settle for someone to help me shovel the snow out of the driveway. Be safe out there, everyone! –ST

  • Mad for…Deacon Rick

    “The future starts today, not tomorrow.” St. Pope John Paul II

    A number of years ago, ten to be exact, my oldest son started high school at Guerin Catholic. His principal at the time was a likeable guy named Rick Wagner. He hadn’t yet been ordained a deacon, but one could spot that Jesus-loving twinkle in his eye from a mile away. Although we’ve met briefly (several times) since then, the truth is that we really don’t know one another at all. Candidly, this is precisely the reason I have chosen him as my “Person of the Week”.

    Allow me to explain.

    Deacon Rick has a rather special charism through which the Lord clearly uses this particular man. He is a profoundly gifted storyteller. What makes him especially effective is his accessibility. Conveying the importance of loving and serving the Lord with one’s life in a way that each person in his path can clearly understand is a piece of cake for Rick. Fancy, complex language is not his thing. Authenticity, genuine care, and kindness are more his jam.

    From afar, I’ve noticed the way he honors his marriage and expresses his love for his wife, Carol, and his children and grandchildren. Just yesterday, for instance, he posted a beautiful and touching “Happy Birthday” message to his wife on social media. What made it spectacular was the photo he chose to accompany his touching words– he was dressed in an inflatable “Pillsbury Doughboy” costume and Carol was in some ridiculous dinosaur get up. To me, that was a life filled with love and laughter summed up rather succinctly, and I found it inspiring. It was also hilarious!

    Carol and Rick Wagner. In that order.

    If you follow Deacon Rick on social media, and I sincerely hope you do, you’ll quickly pick up his impressive ability to shepherd others towards Christ. He’s self-effacing, but he’s also convicted. He gives guidance about how to draw closer to joy, peace, and love itself with humor and patient reminders about what truth looks like.

    Author Bob Goff is one of my favorites for his uncanny ability to spot the Lord in the everyday. Personal storytelling is his forte, and just like Deacon Rick, the thing that makes the humorous personal anecdotes truly work is that they are reliably other-focused and Christ-centered. I don’t know either of these men, but it hasn’t stopped them from making a significant impression upon my life and a difference in my daily choices. Both of them are personal heroes of mine.

    Over the years, Rick Wagner has written down so many lessons and given countless numbers of beautiful talks and retreats. The following are among the lessons I’ve taken in and tried to improve upon in my own life, largely due to hearing them as themes in his work or talks. I’m saying them much less well than he does, but you’ll get the idea. Here’s one for each day of the week.

    1. I can notice others, make sure they feel seen.
    2. Invest in relationships– with God and others. It’s worth the time.
    3. Be yourself. It makes people feel like they can be real too.
    4. Christ is with me, THIS SECOND.
    5. TODAY is a powerful word. We are called to be the light of Christ for others- NOW.
    6. I am not worthy or capable? Fake news. Not of God.
    7. We can be joyful in all circumstances. Yes, I said ALL.

    The badassery of Deacon Rick’s giftedness is not properly conveyed here, though I’ve tried to give you a taste. In many hundreds of previous blog posts, I truly don’t think I’ve ever suggested you fine folks follow anyone on Twitter. Let’s be honest, it’s the wild, wild west online. That said, you brave souls who want to find the sparkly part of the internet should give him a peek @DeaconRWagner or check out his blog at fromthedeaconsdesk.wordpress.comfromthedeaconsdesk.wordpress.com.

    Deacon Rick and his beautiful wife, Carol, without the costumes. Thanks for sharing him with us, Carol!

    Yesterday, on the feast of St. Francis de Sales, the good Deacon shared this quote, which is an apt description of exactly what I see in him and why I chose to tell you about him today. But first, I want to say one more thing. It’s important that each of us remembers that our little bit of sunshine can bring light to others– even those we do not know. That’s what Deacon Rick has done for me, and so many others. So many, in fact, that I found myself talking about him behind his back at a meeting today. Essentially, what I attempted to say about him i that meeting is contained in this quote he shared just a day ago.

    “Faith is like a bright ray of sunlight. It enables us to see God in all things as well as all things in God.” –St. Francis de Sales

    THANK YOU, Deacon Rick, for all you do each day for others. You have been the face of Christ to me on many occasions by sharing your faith journey, and I am way past overdue to express my gratitude!! Your reward is my “person of the week” honor, which comes with exactly zero prize money and even less prestige. CONGRATULATIONS, ha?!

    Deacon Rick Wagner serves at St. Pius X in Indianapolis and is currently the President at Guerin Catholic High School in Noblesville. He’s a proud husband, dad, and grandpa to a family full of truly blessed humans.

  • Mad for…Justin

    “Don’t shine so others can see you. Shine, so that through you, others can see Him.” –C.S. Lewis

    Rolling gingerly to my side, I’d grab for a nearby pillow and slide it ever so gently between my knees at 2am or so. Sometimes, when my alarm sounded, I’d lie flat on my back and draw my knees up to my chest one at a time in a futile effort to loosen it up. The point I’m making is, the pain of standing after another night of fitful sleep was just about upon me one morning a few months back.

    Once I got both feet on the floor, I knew the effort to stand up straight was going to be both painful and futile. My husband called me “S” shaped. My youngest son tried very hard to teach me the stretches he learned from the pretty fantastic Jaime Waymouth (Guerin Catholic’s Strength and Conditioning guru) to help me. He also rolled his eyes a lot and said, “Mom, FIGURE IT OUT!”

    This went on for well over a year. For a while, I was able to get some relief from walking. After 20 minutes or so of making my way around the neighborhood, I’d slowly be standing more erect. Then, one very cold morning, I found my Aleve-aided self desperately walking in the driving rain. I was hunched over like a 90-year old man when I began, and when I ended, I looked like a soaking wet 90-year old man. I looked in the mirror and laughed at myself. Then, I literally looked at the ceiling and spoke aloud to the God of the universe. “Lord. I’m a damn fool. Also, I’m a stubborn, willful PIA who needs help. I give up. Let’s try Your plan.”

    Here’s what you need to know. A solid and genuine “Your will, Jesus” has never failed me.

    Later that day, in a text exchange with my friend and pastor, we traded stories about our respective mornings. His was a lovely story about ministering to a family in need, and mine was a whiny tale about being a soaking wet and very cold fool. Also, he said, “Call Justin Gilmore. He’s a spiritual son of mine and good at what he does.”

    Dr. Justin Gilmore

    Suddenly, I recalled this piece of paper a dear friend had shared with me months earlier. It was a certificate she had purchased at a parish auction for a free initial consulation. The name of the chiropractor said…”Dr. Justin Gilmore.”

    Got it, Lord.

    When I arrived to visit Gilmore Chiropractic a couple of days later, the two most kind women greeted me. Kristen and Kelli could not have been more welcoming at the front desk…and the X-rays were soon underway. Dr. Gilmore, when I met with him a couple of days later, indicated that he felt there was a strong chance he could help me. He did NOT overpromise. He simply shared he felt it was more than worth a try and explained the problem in a way that a smart girl (that’s me) who also was pretty terrible in biology class (also me) would be able to understand.

    I began visiting Dr. Justin Gilmore a few times a week. Sooner than he predicted, my pain lessened. In each and every visit, Dr. G was friendly. His office is also the cleanest, most efficiently run medical office I have EVER encountered. I know zip about chiropractic care and as far as I know, I’ve never met another chiropractor. His goodness, honesty, and skillful work give a good name to the entire profession, in all honesty.

    I don’t know a lot about Justin other than he’s a very handsome man from Terre Haute who’s married to a woman named Laura who he clearly treasures. He also has a little girl he adores who really likes the stroller she got for her doll this Christmas. My guess is that both of those lovely ladies are incredibly blessed…because no one can fool me for long. After 24 visits, I’d have detected and ascertained his lack of authenticity if it existed. I’ve got a gift in this area.

    I’m happy to report that as of this writing, I’m pain free, by the way. Even if I weren’t, I’d still be a big fan of this unassuming, but very bright and faith-filled man. To be candid, I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d wake up feeling this way again… where my back is concerned. I’m 50 years old and I simply figured there wasn’t much to be done. I was wrong. It turns out that once again I have learned the Lord loves me and turning to Him is the move. I recommend the prayer thing strongly, by the way, even if you do so in a way that might not impress others as the most pious or articulate approach. He listens.

    He heard my slightly pathetic prayer (probably rolled His eyes) and then sent me to this capable, terrific human through whom the love of Christ shines in the respectful and compassionate way he uses his gifts to serve others each day.

    I’m so grateful I met you, Doc. THANK YOU for all you do for so many of us. I was joking when I asked you to move in with me after you cracked my back the first time, but seriously…you’re the REAL DEAL. For this reason, you are my person of the week. It’s such a HUGE honor. I hope it doesn’t go to your head, ha?!

    St. Andre Bessette, Pray for Us!

  • Mad for…Emily

    When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. (Is 43:2)

    As a mother of three incredibly sweaty, but terrifyingly amazing sons, I have had the occasion to enter into a fairly repetitious monologue with each of them during their teenage years. It’s the kind of “speechification” that typically elicits yawning and no small amount of eye-rolling. What can I say? I have a gift, ha?

    Nevertheless, my job as a Catholic woman of faith and a mom is to make sure that I drive home the message to my children that no matter our circumstances we can always be confident that God is with us, He is in control, and He is trustworthy. Those poor kids of mine get pretty darn sick of hearing my Jesus girl ramblings. The Lord never sends any of us into battle alone, though. In a variety of ways, He is ever-present…supporting us always.

    Enter Emily McAulay. I’ll be utterly candid. With fair certainty, I can tell you that I have never officially met Emily. However, this absolutely does NOT disqualify me from declaring her a faith-filled savant who specializes in the successful evangelization of teenagers. I want to tell you more about what she spends her life doing that absolutely glorifies the Lord. Sharing how she is the face of Jesus to human beings she’s never even met seems like the best way to start.

    Like all of us do at various times, my youngest son has traveled a bumpy stretch of road the last couple years. Honestly, it’s nothing overly eventful as these things go but that doesn’t mean Z’s cross doesn’t feel heavy. Raising young men of character, integrity and strong faith is far from simple… and families, school, health, sports, and covid-related chaos all can add up. This is especially true for young people who are just beginning to try and navigate in a more adult and less childlike fashion. Being a parent in 2021 is complicated. God never sends us into situations alone, though. He walks beside us every step of the way. This past week, He did that in the person of one Emily McAuley.

    When a rain-drenched, bleary-eyed, Santa hat wearing Zach Thieme arrived at the passenger side door of my car with a big smile on his face, I knew that his junior retreat had gone well. I didn’t even have to utilize the open-ended questions I had prepared, because Z was in a talking mood on that car ride from the St. Joseph Retreat Center in Tipton back to Carmel. The first thing he did when he mentioned his retreat group leader, Emily McAuley was say, “Oh my gosh, Mom, she’s just an absolutely AMAZING person! She was totally awesome!!” And just like that, I thought to myself how fantastic it was that for this moment in time, my relentless effort in pursuit of Christian virtue for my son felt a little less lonely. She might have thought she was helping kids, but it was so much more. Whether they know it or not, there are 7 other families to whom God sent a modern day Simon of Cyrene last week. In the person of this young high school guidance counselor from Guerin Catholic, there was a selfless woman who has chosen to be the light with her life. Who in their right mind decides to spend 72+ straight hours, with little sleep, (drinking cherry flavored ginger ale some 17 year old provided) while devoting herself to the faith formation of other people’s sons and daughters? A few other crazy people did the same. Today, though, I’m focused on the gal who made a difference for the Thieme family.

    What I know about Emily personally is very little– you see she’s not assigned to our part of the alphabet as a counselor. She’s evidently a unicycler from Texas. That’s what it said when I stalked her Twitter profile. The young people she counsels described her to me as kind, soft-spoken, and “not super outgoing”. In my observations from a distance, I’d add friendly, conscientious, and joyful. She has a glorious smile too.

    It doesn’t matter. I know enough. So, I’d like to just take a moment to give a shout out to a beautiful soul who happens to be a selfless, joyful light of Christ to a whole lot of young people and their families. I feel confident that those for whom she works each day in her role at Guerin Catholic are very blessed by her competence, compassion, and care for her students. She’s so much more than a woman who makes sure kids get into the proper classes, though. One mom said it best. She said, “Emily is a difference maker.” A to the MEN.

    Today, I wanted to make sure she knows we see her– and so does Jesus. Sometimes, we are quite aware that our presence in the lives of others and in the work that we do makes a difference. Other times, we honestly don’t have a clue that our efforts are in the least bit worthwhile. Emily? This week you reminded my son that He is loved without conditions. A guy needs to hear that from someone besides his momma sometimes. THANK YOU. You are a big ladle of awesome sauce and what you do matters so very much!

    “Wherever God has put you, that is your vocation. It is not what we do but how much love we put into it.” –St. (Mother) Teresa of Calcutta

    This week, let’s all aim to make the world a better place by trying to be a little more like Emily? What do you say, friends? Be the love.

  • They Have No Wine

    When the wine ran short, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servers, “Do whatever he tells you.” (John 2:3-5)

    For the past month, I’ve been a little busy at church. It’s Respect Life Month and I’m quite involved in the Gospel of Life ministry at my parish. These are angsty, tumultuous times in which we live, and our wise pastor, Fr. Richard Doerr, decided that it might be prudent to give those of us in his very blessed flock an antidote of sorts for what ails us all this month. That is to say, in what might appear to be a diversion from the typical life-affirming activities at a Catholic parish in the month of October, our shepherd decided that what we all needed was some oxygen. We needed to be reminded of the life-giving truth that being authentically Catholic is much more than a salve. We needed and received some beautiful fuel for our own tanks these last four Sundays. For me, it turned out to be one of the most life-affirming months in memory.

    We heard from four stunningly different and yet remarkable religious speakers (from four different orders) each Sunday evening. Our final speaker was Sr. Mary Madeline Todd, O.P. She is a Dominican Sister of the Congregation of St. Cecilia. She’s taught elementary through college aged students, and she earned her doctorate in Sacred Theology at the Pontifical University of St. Thomas Aquinas in Rome. She has multiple master’s degrees, she’s written and contributed to many notable books and articles on topics related to spiritual and moral theology. She’s offered retreats across the world. What I’m trying to say is, Sr. Mary Madeline is REALLY FREAKING SMART.

    Also, there’s this. She loves Jesus and it shows. Her joyfulness and optimism were an infectious force in my week. Maybe it was because she’s a big smarty pants that her words struck a chord…but I don’t think so. What feels more certain to me is that the Lord sent this instrument into the parish hall over there on 146th St. because He loves me and He knew how to reach me. You see, I’m stubborn. However, Sr. Mary Madeline is loud. She talks fast and her overwhelmingly authentic giggle is completely contagious. She began to talk, and I did something which is rare for me. I locked in. I knew Jesus was saying, “Hey, Shell…focus up. This is for you, sis.”

    The demons of discord have been intensely present for me, like many folks, of late. People around me are hurting. I’ve been a little underwater. That’s what the culture of death does to us, if we let it. What Sr. Mary Madeline did was remind me that because I love the Lord, I cannot stand for evil and I am compelled to speak truth to others, and to pray for them, even when it’s inconvenient or I’m just flat SICK AND TIRED. The white flag of despair is not who we are. Hope is our jam as authentic Catholics. It wasn’t lost on her that there is tumult, scandal, fear, lies, abuse, immaturity and so much more going on in our world. She shared, with an infectious smile and in a spirit of life and truth, that we need more time speaking to God and less time on screens. She challenged us to put down our phones and pray the rosary, to talk to Jesus, and to NOTICE others just like Mary noticed the wine was just about gone there at the wedding at Cana.

    Sr. Mary Madeline is a little gray at the temples, so she must be a little older than she seems? She’s so inspiringly full of life. I don’t know how old she actually is, but her spirit is exuberantly youthful. She told us that when we encounter folks who are lonely, whose eyes are dead, that we are doing a beautiful thing, like Mary. We are noticing the people of God around us. She also said she prays for them by saying quickly and simply, “They are out of wine, Lord.” In that simple act of faith, she has given that soul over to Jesus, because we know He is love. Then, our work is to LISTEN to Jesus and do whatever He tells us.

    A few years ago, when I was feeling the tax season and wintertime blues, I sent a few mass intentions to a priest I didn’t know. I had been told by someone close to him that he’d moved to a new parish and that there weren’t any. My mother in law had recently passed away, and I wanted to offer a little sacrifice for her soul and a few others, so I figured I’d send a few mass intentions his way. The few extra dollars in his pocket were something I knew he needed, so it was a win-win. I sent a list of souls and for whom I wanted masses offered and asked that one final mass be said for my personal intentions. Nothing helps a case of the blues like a good deed, I find.

    Months passed by and I forgot all about these requests. One day, in the mail, I received a note from the parish secretary. It was a quick list of all the dates on which the masses were said. The last mass was to be said that very day that I had received the note. It was March 24th– my birthday– and the mass was to be for my intentions that very day. Do you get it? I had received the best birthday gift in the world– from the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE. I wept at my desk. I sent my water, you see, and Jesus sent me the most delicious wine in return.

    A love note from God is impossible to forget. Trust me. Even when things aren’t going my way, how can I NOT muster up the energy to remind others that they are loved? How can I allow the smoke of the devil to cloud my mind or slow these efforts? Sr. Mary Madeline jolted my heart loose by the sheer volume of her laughter and joyfulness. Hers is a beautiful soul. I’m so blessed I had the chance to meet her and hear her inspired words.

    We have to love the dignity of all lives, folks. Our own and those around us. All of us belong to the kingdom of God. With her glorious prayer (that I’m TOTALLY STEALING ALREADY) “They are out of wine, Lord” what Sr. Mary Madeline helped Jesus remind me is that when we pray for vulnerable people (including ourselves), when we trust in Him, we are giving God an opportunity to provide. Jesus knows how to turn water into wine. He might need me to fill some jars with water, but the heavy lifting which is turning that water into the best wine at the party? The miracles of life? When we turn to him and trust Him, He will provide what we need and the graces too– peace, forgiveness– to do what’s hard.

    Thank you, Sr. Mary Madeline for helping me focus on the good things of God. I’m thankful for your example of interior docility. It’s a spirituality of gratitude, the knowledge that God provides for us, that He loves us all. You are my “Person of the Week.” It’s a high honor which comes with zero prestige and no prize money, HA?! Congrats!!

    For those of you who’d like to hear the audio of her talk, here it is.

    Peace out, friends!

  • Mad for…Pat

    The holy man was the whole man, the man of integrity, who not only tried to change the world, but live in it as it was. –Dorothy Day

    A couple months back, I was on a long walk with my friend, Catherine. We’ve not been friends all that long, honestly, but I treasure her for her authenticity and her stunningly beautiful heart. As fate would have it, we encountered a bike accident on the Monon trail that day, and in this case, an older gentleman was clearly injured. His pants were ripped and he was bleeding. We stopped to talk to him and we noticed the bleeding was rather significant. When he shared that he was on blood thinners and had some other medical issues, we strongly urged him to allow us to call for help. We were on foot and not that close to our cars. He was adamant that he didn’t want us to call for an ambulance, so Catherine decided to call her husband Pat.

    Pat Murphy, on the far right, with his beautiful family.

    Pat Murphy, I’ve learned from observation, is a very hard-working and compassionate man. Within minutes, he arrived in his rather badass pickup truck and saved the day. He had brought along some basic first aid essentials and then tossed the man’s bike into the back of his truck and drove him home, making sure he’d done all he could to assist. Let me add for a moment that Pat is a busy attorney. I’m fairly certain he didn’t have “Good Samaritan” on his schedule for the day, but that day he dropped everything to be the love to a stranger. Kindness and love always make a difference. Pat probably thought he was just doing a good deed and that it was not a big deal. Oh, how far from the truth he would be!

    An integrity-filled father of 4, Pat and his wife are high school sweethearts from Champaign, Illinois. He’s the youngest of four siblings, and a man of faith who is ALWAYS willing to pitch in. For instance, just this past Sunday as we were setting up for our first of four Sunday speakers at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel (part of our Respect Life Month activities), we noticed that some of the folks who ordered meals didn’t order a drink. Pat immediately offered to go out in the rain and run to the grocery for a couple cases of water, just so that we’d be able to make sure everyone was comfortable and satisfied. It’s a little thing, but it’s the exact kind of selflessness I see Pat display over and over. I could fill this page with several similar stories. Rarely, (I pray) do I overlook someone who inspires a ripple of kindness in their wake, because Pat and folks like him always remind me that the things that matter the most cost virtually nothing but mean everything. He’s a quick-witted smart aleck who I’ve noticed leaves the world a little better than he found it. THAT combo is my favorite kind of human, and honestly…and it makes me want to be like Pat!

    What struck me about Pat’s little grocery run was his positivity. He didn’t come back even a skosh snarky about the last minute fire drill. Instead, he gushed about the rainbow in the sky he’d seen on this journey and how it felt like a “God hug”. To me, Pat’s sense of humor, his willingness to join in and help, his work ethic, and his obvious love of his family make him the perfect guy on whom to bestow the illustrious Mad for “Person of the Week” award.

    Don’t let it go to your head, Murphy.

  • Mad for…Erin

    The saints are not supermen, nor were they born perfect, but rather are ordinary people who recognized God’s love, they followed it, and served others. –Pope Francis

    A couple weeks ago, I got a text from a young lady I have been watching from afar all fall. Her request was a simple one. She wanted a ride to Ft. Wayne, and she knew we were going, so she was hoping we’d let her tag along!

    I’ll be honest, I tried to dissuade her– mostly for her own sake. I knew it was going to be a very early morning and an extremely long, hot day in Ft. Wayne at Homestead High School for the Guerin Catholic boys tennis team. We were headed there for a day long tournament, and I’d been to it twice before.

    Pictured on the far left with the GC Varsity squad at Homestead HS is Guerin Catholic junior, Erin Horrigan.

    Erin Horrigan was not having it. She pressed me, because she knew that if she wasn’t there, the team would likely go without a manager all day. She’s a genuinely charitable and sunny soul who looks out not for her own interests, but has carried the burdensome GC tennis clipboard around with her all fall. The GC boys tennis team has 52 boys on it’s roster! Honestly, it’s an insanely large number of matches to keep track of each week, but Erin has been the backbone of the squad, keeping track of all the data, and helping to “herd the cats”. That’s the nicest analogy I can come up with for the hapless task with which she has been assigned.

    Rather than counting herself as unfortunate or unlucky, Erin has smiled through the season– knowing she was needed. As I write these words today, I’m aiming for something more for her. I want her to also know I see her, and she’s so valued and appreciated! Erin is both sunny and encouraging. Some time back, I wrote down this quote that I really find compelling. It’s a tad tragic that I cannot locate the author to whom it should rightly be attributed, but I’ll share it all the same, because I feel strongly that Erin is off to a hot start in her young life where these sentiments are concerned.

    What are the things that you can’t see that are important? I would say justice, truth, humility, service, compassion, love. You can’t see any of those, but they’re the guiding lights of a life.

    After that hot, sweaty day in Ft. Wayne, I was sitting “shotgun” and she was seated directly behind me in the Thieme family Durango on the way home from the long day of tennis. She didn’t even complain when she had to endure the smelly tennis shoes and flat out “stank” of my youngest son who was seated next to her– after playing three tennis matches in the blazing sun. That was when I announced that she’s my official winner of the Shelly Thieme MVP Manager of the Year award. It’s a very prestigious honor, ha? Evidently, the “award” also comes with the glorious excitement of being named my “Mad for” Person of the Week post this week.

    The world is simply a better place with Erin’s beautiful smile, stellar work ethic and positivity. Thank you, Erin, for being a bright light for those in your path!

  • Mad for…Mike

    For who is greater: the one seated at table or the one who serves? Is it not the one seated at table? I am among you as the one who serves. (Luke 22:27)

    Quietly improving the lives around them is the frequent choice of a soul with a servant’s heart. While I was wandering into the 11:00am mass yesterday, I noticed such a man quietly volunteering his time, yet again. He’s a great man of character and integrity, and there he was working diligently on the equipment at the rear of the sanctuary. His name is Mike Panasuk.

    Mike is the husband of a beautiful wife named Alanna and he has two lovely young towheaded daughters. They are a trio of very blessed ladies to have a man like Mike in their daily lives.

    The Panasuk family

    Allow me to digress a moment and mention that I met Mike at Guerin Catholic High School several years ago. At the time, he was teaching Theater Arts. My oldest son was an awkward freshman at the time and struggling to find his way. Mr. Panasuk connected with Nick through their mutual love of sports. I found out pretty quickly that this guy was also a talented (former pro) football kicker. Imagine having that guy as your teacher as a sports-crazed 15 year old? That was nearly a decade ago. He still blesses the students in his care each day at GC, and I think he does it these days as a Business teacher. In any case, as the months and years ticked by, I learned that Mike is a talented videographer and photographer. If I’m completely honest, I consider him our family’s personal photographer, since every single photo of my sons that is worth having of their sports experiences at Guerin Catholic was taken by him. I’ve asked around, and guess what? There are many others who have similar tales to tell of general goodness he sprinkled upon their children or their family.

    He’s thoughtful, courteous and understated when it comes to accepting the gratitude of others for the small kindnesses which often aren’t so small in the minds of those of us on the receiving end. Mike is an inspiring example of what it means to be the light of Christ by the way he lives his life. It’s something that seems to come naturally to him.

    For the people of my parish, Our Lady of Mt. Carmel, Mike’s time and talent during the time of the pandemic made all the difference. I asked Rex Rund, who is the Director of Music and Liturgy at the parish to help me properly explain the good that Mike has accomplished for thousands of our parishioners and to thank him for his efforts. He said the following.

    Yes! Mike’s been a hero! When we first started streaming masses, even from the Convent, MIke worked with Troy and Angela and the Sisters to set up all the right equipment (much of it his own personal equipment) with all the right settings so that the Sisters could operate it themselves so others wouldn’t have to come into the convent at the height of Covid.

    When masses moved into the church after the renovation was done, Mike again used all his own equipment (cameras, laptop, interface, cables) AND manned at least one live-streamed mass every weekend (sometimes two) all the time the church was closed. Even after the church got it’s own equipment, Mike continues to man the live-stream almost every Sunday.

    Without MIke’s expertise AND his generosity in time, talent and equipment, we would have been in a tough spot.

    I couldn’t have summed up MIke’s sincere goodness or virtuous generosity of spirit any better. At this moment in the history of the world, there are so many people hanging on by a thread. Be like Mike. Be the thread.

  • Mad for…Todd

    Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. (Phil 2: 3-4)

    Our priorities are sometimes rearranged by love. One of my positivity heroes, Bob Goff, says it this way. “Every act of selfless love is a declaration of faith.” If that’s true, then my friend, Todd Metzger, is shouting rather loudly to the world about what it means to be a man of God.

    The Metzger Family

    A father of 4 nearly grown sons and the husband to a beautiful wife named Terri, I have gotten to know Todd mostly through the sport of tennis. The Metzger clan is pretty much tennis royalty at Guerin Catholic High School in Noblesville. We arrived late in their long run at GC. For the previous two years, the youngest of the Metzger boys, Cole, was a teammate of our son, Zach. In fact, Cole made quite a deep run in the state tennis tournament last year. It was such fun watching him play!

    One day during our son’s freshman year, Todd noticed that Zach was struggling to hit an overhead in a match. He asked Z about it, and Z replied, “Well, Coach, I’ve never been taught how to hit one, so I don’t really know how to do it.” Our Z, you see, is a little bit of a tennis unicorn. He’s mostly self-taught. Sometimes, wonderful humans come along to save the day. He took an hour out of his life the next day to help a kid learn to hit an overhead. That’s Todd. He spent the whole off-season, in fact, teaching another young player this year on the team. That terrific kid, Sean Loub, considers him a mentor. Fine choice, Sean!

    Coach Todd Metzger advising GC doubles team, Sean Loub and Rhys Garrison.

    This fall, two of the Metzger boys are playing for the same college tennis team– the Depauw Tigers. It’s the one and only season that these two talented boys will be college teammates. It’s this fact that makes Todd’s ongoing commitment to helping with the Guerin Catholic Boys team an even more selfless act. Let me explain further.

    Guerin Catholic’s beloved head coach, Chris Sciaudone, is a brain cancer fighting badass. The man shows up every single day that it’s remotely physically possible to coach the 50+ boys on his roster. They are clearly his passion. We are all so blessed to have such a coach! There were bound to be days, though, where it was simply not going to work. Chris’s ongoing treatments are no joke. Enter Coach Todd Metzger. There he was leading the squad at the GC Invitational, and again at the John Shirley…in 90+ degree heat all day long…volunteering his time and expertise.

    In his quiet and humble way, Todd has chosen the path of charity, love, selflessness and kindness– for the boys, and for his friend. To me, he’s chosen the path of everyday holiness that we are all called to select. It’s beautiful and very inspiring. He’s full of character and owns the sort of depth of humanity that makes the world a better place.

    From nearby, I have watched as Todd supports and loves his family while running his own small business. He’s employed endless numbers of high school youngsters over the years as they took on their first job in his warehouse. Respectful, kind, thoughtful and funny, Todd is simply the real deal. I don’t know what he feels interiorly, of course, but what he gives off to me is a sense of faithfulness and peace. It begins with his genuine smile and shines in his charitable attitude and generosity of spirit.

    Thanks, friend, for showing us all the way it’s done. You make me want to break off a little piece of what you’ve got and BE LIKE TODD. I’d bet I’m not the only one..