“In their distress they cried to the Lord, who saved them in their distress. He brought them forth from darkness and the shadow of death and burst their chains apart.” (Ps. 107: 13-14)

You all? I try to keep it sunny in this little spot of the internet. Today, that feels incredibly inauthentic, yet I know I am called to chat you up all the same. So, I’d like to tell you about my week and ask for your prayers. Please let me know how I can speak to Jesus for you too, because I love you people…every last one of you. Sorry about your luck, ha?

There were six priests and a deacon present for the funeral mass I attended this morning. Cheryl Ayers was the matriarch of a beautiful, large Catholic family which included 8 children and I think 18 grandchildren. She was a vibrant 72-year old who had been arm-wrestling some of those grandkids at Thanksgiving this year, so the subsequent lung cancer diagnosis and her very quick decline were tough to take. The mass was beautiful, despite the ample scaffolding present in the building and it was clear Cheryl leaves a strong legacy of faith and love in her wake. That said, The thoughts in my mind aren’t super coherent this day, but the theme of my week is definitely “gone too soon.” I am praying for her soul today and the peace of mind and heart of all who loved her.

There’s another OLMC parish family in deep grief this week as they lost their 22 year old under tragic circumstances. He was a young man named Will who loved rugby, golf and time at the lake with his family among other things. He’s the same age as my oldest son, Nick, and they graduated high school the same year, though at different schools. I didn’t know him, but the community around me is in deep grief over his loss, including (among many others) the pastor we both shared, as well as his parents and 5 siblings. It’s tough to watch, and it makes my stomach hurt.

Also today, a faith filled woman in my circle asked me to pray for her friend and this friend’s parish, St. James Catholic Church, in St. Joseph, Missouri, as they are dealing with the death by suicide of their pastor, Fr. Evan Harkins. He was a young priest, ordained at age 24, just 10 years ago. My friend described him as humble, quiet, and joyful. It’s heartbreaking. Sometimes, it’s like we expect these guys in collars to wear capes, but they are mere mortals. May his soul find rest in the arms of the Lord.

Then, just a few minutes ago, a woman of faith I deeply respect asked for prayers for yet another local family who just a few days ago also lost their 22 year old son. He was in his senior year of college, just like my Nick Fred, and he graduated from nearby Westfield High School. His parents are understandably distraught. I promised I would pray, and I will.

Kobe Bryant, his daughter, Gianna, and 7 other souls perished this week too, in a tragic helicopter crash out in California. These shocking deaths served to underscore for me the somber backdrop of the week. Kobe, who was bigger than life, of course, has been eulogized in the media all week. I admit that even for me who is a very casual observer of the NBA, his death at the age of 41 feels somewhat jarring.

Another friend reached out this week to chat saying in one breath “all is well” but admitting in another that there have been moments where the thought of driving a car off the road seemed like not a terrible idea. Insisting it was just a passing thought, this beautiful human felt seeking out serious help was too drastic a step to consider. I disagreed vehemently.

Here’s what I feel compelled to say today.

Human beings need emotional support. It’s just how we’re wired.

Some, especially men, seem to believe they shouldn’t need it. That’s a false and dangerous narrative.

If you are someone who is hiding your deep sadness, forsaking all help because you tell yourself “it will be fine” or “I should just count my blessings”, by all means count them. But hey, YOU, count them aloud with another human, or better yet find a professional who can help you turn the ship around. PLEASE. If you don’t know how to get help, let me know and we’ll figure it out together. There is always hope, even in the midst of the greatest darkness. You are the beloved child of the Most High God and your life matters. TRUTH.

The death of Fr. Evan Harkins who was, by all reports, a holy and prayerful man reminds me how very hard it can be for those who are called upon to support others to seek help and support themselves. Pray for our priests. Love our priests…I beg you.

Finally, for the young friend troubled by the scourge of suicides around him who asked me about the souls of those who have died by suicide, I have your answer. First, allow me to say again, sweet boy, that I am not a theologian. However, I do believe in a merciful God who is love itself. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that “voluntary cooperation in suicide is contrary to the moral law” but also it says “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for people who have taken their own lives.”

Please join me today in praying for eternal rest for Cheryl, Will, Fr. Evan, Jordan, Kobe, Gianna, John, Keri, Alyssa, Christina, Ara, Sarah, and Payton.

ETERNAL REST GRANT UNTO THEM, O LORD, AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM. MAY THEY REST IN PEACE.

You are the salt of the earth. But if salt loses it’s taste, with what can it be seasoned? It is no longer good for anything but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lam and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father. (Mt. 5: 13-16)

“All for One.” It’s the motto of a lovely little Jesuit University of which I’ve grown fond. The Xavier University class of 2020 will include none other than my oldest son, Nicholas Thieme. Nick Fred started his journey at X thinking he wanted to be an athletic trainer. He loves helping people, and he’s passionate about sports, so this choice made sense to me. Then, he discovered there’s a dreadful need to master the biological sciences inherent in this course of study. Nick’s more of a math guy, which is why our finance major excelled once he realized the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, ha? I’m entirely biased, of course, but the folks at Fifth Third Bank are gaining a fine human being among their ranks this summer.

The relatively small campus of Xavier University, located in the middle of Cincy, reminds me a lot of Butler here in Indianapolis. Folks at X might be even crazier about hoops than Bulldog fans, actually! One big difference I’d note, however, is the very prominent placement of the Bellarmine Chapel right in the center of campus. It’s a Jesuit University, and one of the “institutions” on campus is also the presence of Fr. Albert Bischoff. Fr. B turned 90 a year or two ago, I believe? I’m not certain of his age, to be honest, but this week he celebrated another birthday so he’s been on my mind. I met him briefly only once, but it made an impact. He’s most notable to me and many for the way he greets students, by calling them “Saint”.

Yesterday, while I attended a weekly prayer meeting for women called “Awaken” at St. Elizabeth Seton parish here in Carmel, I closed the meeting for my group with a prayer that was largely inspired by the words of Fr. B. .

“I’ve come to believe in the essential goodness of people, and so one day it just came out ‘saint’ and I thought, ‘oh, that’s good’ because that is what we are. We are God’s holy people. And we tend to be negative about ourselves. We overlook our own holiness. I am very grateful to be here and share my life with these people, who I have found to be overwhelmingly good. I want to be with the saints.”

The ladies at my table were a little stopped in their tracks by the beauty of Fr. B’s sentiments, which I uttered rather inarticulately. The Lord found His way to shine in them all the same, as He tends to do– which brings me to my day this morning.

After mass, I met a dear friend for breakfast to celebrate her birthday. If her life story was made into a movie, it would blow your mind. Anyway, she’s well aware of my Jesus girl “isms” and sometimes she quizzes me a bit about Catholic things. Most recently, her interest has been about the concept of adoration, and also the Blessed Virgin. I’d like to say I’ve helped her understand my deep love for both, but that’s not really accurate. I’m leery of effusing much, though I’m bursting to do just that. Part of my problem is that I don’t really want to call attention to myself or my faith. It can be uncomfortable to stand out, or to feel like I am claiming to be something more than what I am. My personal faults and failures are always front and center.

In other words, I find myself identifying with Fr. B. His words resonate as truth. The number of phenomenal, character and faith-filled friends I have who similarly feel like they are not enough, or who speak negatively about themselves (whether interiorly or exteriorly) is astounding. We overlook our own holiness. The thing is, we’ve got to be brave!! This line of thinking is shortsighted and limiting. We’re called to more.

Here’s today’s big idea. I’ve seen how you folks notice the good things others do and that you are quick with compliments and thank yous. I spent a year picking out someone to do this with every day– and you people joined in whole-heartedly with your words of affirmation for the folks around you. It’s not braggadocios to love the Lord and let our light shine. It’s an act of humility to accept that you are good at some things too.

Let’s be open to the big plans God has for us, forsaking the inner critic. My plan is to work hard and not let myself be derailed– by my own criticism or that of others.

I wasn’t sure how my Methodist breakfast buddy would feel about receiving a rosary from me for her birthday, but I figured maybe the solution to her queries about Mary was just to give her a rosary and let Mary work it out with her directly? I told her to put it in her pocket and when she’s feeling anxious and blue, rub her fingers through the beads and that will help her remember she’s not alone and that our Heavenly Mother is there for her always.

Her eyes filled with tears and her face lit up.

“You’re going to turn me Catholic, aren’t you?”

I laughed and said, “Well, I love you, so yes, I hope so.”

She smiled and as we were preparing to part she quietly said, “Thank you. You turned the lights back on.”

AND…Mary swoops in with the victory! Nothing feels better than cooperating in that. Am I right?

Don’t hide your light. #All for One!!

As many of you know, 2019 was a year I spent very intentionally affirming one person each day. Self-imposed deadlines, each set 24 hours apart from the next, were my rule and rhythm for the entire course of twelve months. Lessons learned in this year will stay with me for a long time, perhaps forever. A few folks who have asked me to share these insights in person with them recently over a cup of coffee suggested I post them, so here you go! In them, I hope you find something that makes it worth the read.

1. Be brave enough to stink at something for the sake of the Lord. I am not always articulate, and often the quality of my daily writing was marginal (at best). However, when it’s more important to us to listen to the instructions we believe to be uttered in our direction by the voice of the Holy Spirit than to the give in to our fears and self-doubt, we get it right. This week, two different men in my life reached out to me. One of these tough guys teased me about all my new found “free time” but then he asked me what am I going to do next. He told me I inspired positivity in his life and that he was grateful. The other gentleman, who I’d largely describe as a blue-collar style smartass, asked me to please keep writing. He shared with me two absolutely beautiful encounters with Christ he had in his life. It was incredibly moving to get this feedback, to hear how Jesus takes our little offerings and makes them bigger and better. To me, it affirmed that my imperfect way of trying to shine the light of Christ…well it did get scattered about enough to brighten the area. Jesus is in charge here- rough edges and all. Whatever the outcome…it was effort given for the sake of the Lord. Bottom line, I’m glad I was brave enough to stink for Jesus, ha? It was Mother Teresa who said, “Give the world your best and it may never be enough, give your best anyway, for you see, in the end it is between you and God.” Smart woman. It’s almost like she’s a saint or something, ha?

2. We learn discipline by being disciplined. My confessor has frequently over the years heard me express sorrow over my lack of discipline in many areas of my life. Just like any unholy habit, it can be fixed by simply practicing a new way of living. I am now willing to admit that it takes some degree of discipline to write a few paragraphs every single day for a year. I’d argue I can no longer say I am an utterly undisciplined person. I’m shocked to see those words on my screen. Accountability helped me for sure. I believe this skill has and will translate to other areas of my life and that “practicing” living better can start small and do the same for you too. “The one quality which sets one man apart from another- the key which lifts one to every aspiration while others are caught up in the mire of mediocrity- is not talent, formal education, nor intellectual brightness– it is self-discipline. With self-discipline, all things are possible. Without it, even the simplest goal can seem like the impossible dream.” (Theodore Roosevelt)

3. No Snub Lists Allowed. One day about mid-year, my youngest son asked me about how I choose who I write about each day. He wondered if there were some people I would choose not to write about for one reason or another? Then, my oldest son joked that he planned to publish a “Top 10 Biggest Snubs” list when I completed my year. I would describe my reaction to that idea as MORTIFIED. In every smile there is beauty. None of us are perfect, and every single one of us is made in the image and likeness of God. If there is anyone in your life in whom you cannot spot the face of the Lord, cozy up and look harder– just like you want the Lord (and the rest of us mere mortals) to do with you. God doesn’t have a snub list, and neither should we. No matter what. “Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy.” (Thomas Merton)

4. Goodness Multiplies. Naively, I thought I’d just write 365 affirmations in 2019. That would be 365 consoling, kind, and sometimes silly positivity notes in the world. My heart was pure and I was not attached to any outcome. It seemed both simple and worthwhile. I really and truly wanted to be the face of Christ to those 365 people. Period. At the end of 2018, social media seemed so filled with vitriol. My tiny corner? I wanted it to be kinda shiny in 2019. What I didn’t consider was how often my simple note would then lead to other folks chiming in with their two cents about the awesomeness of my person of the day. Frequently, dozens of other people would add their own love to the kindness bouquet with comments on WordPress, Facebook, Twitter, text message….or even (God forbid) in PERSON. Our good and gracious God ALWAYS outdoes us in generosity and love. He’s radically generous. “Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you, so that in all things, always having all you need, you may have an abundance for every good work.” (2 Cor 9: 6-8)

5. Stop All the Apologizing. If someone issues a compliment, don’t brush it aside or shake it off. Say THANK YOU. Perfectionism is a lie. We all make mistakes. You don’t need to listen to Satan whispering lies in your ear. It’s a time and space waster. Instead of “I can’t” stick the words “Up until now” at the front of your sentences. If you feel guilty, it’s one of two things. Either you have sinned and you need to tell the Lord you are sorry, then move on in freedom…OR the voice in your head is not of God. Which one is it? Turn it all over to the Lord. Trust God because He is trustworthy. Sometimes, He helps us fall apart right into place.

6. God can and does work miracles for you and through you. When I started my year, my health was at low ebb. There was a scary lung cancer diagnosis. Surgery and uncertainty loomed a bit large. I felt consoled by the presence of Jesus in those around me, many of whom I wrote about each day, and in Our Eucharistic Lord too. He was my peace. I really was doing my best to rest in Christ. Still, there were moments of worry and sometimes stomachaches too. I often thought, “I don’t know what people do who don’t have faith.” Skepticism may be cool, and lots of people embrace it when it comes to matters of faith but God can and does work miracles for you and through you. I kept my head up, and tried my best to trust that God loves me, setting aside those thoughts that are clearly not of God, the ones which say “you aren’t good enough” or “why would He love you?” Guys. I was looking for God in all of you every single day last year, and I found Him. Over and over again. The cancer diagnosis was declared a mistake. It turns out it was something less menacing in my lung. A to the MEN. My heart was burning by year’s end at the magnificent way He loves us. It’s uncanny the number of times I heard from someone words like “I cannot believe that TODAY is the day you wrote about me.” “I was at the end of my rope”, or “I really needed to hear this right now.” There are dozens of crazy stories that started with a text or a call like that from 2019. I was probably invited for coffee 50 times by different people who wanted to tell me how incredible it was that I wrote what I did, or that I said it when I did. I drank a lot of latte. You guys. It wasn’t me. God did that FOR YOU. If it was my keyboard, then thanks be to God. Make no mistake, however. It was JESUS loving you. He’s flat out crazy, mad, recklessly in love with little old you…and me! GOD IS LOVE. “Nothing is sweeter than love; nothing stronger, nothing higher, nothing more generous, nothing more pleasant, nothing fuller or better in Heaven or on earth; for love proceeds from God and cannot rest but in God above all things created.” (Thomas a’ Kempis)

Here’s the bottom line. If you have the chance to make someone happy, just do it. Maybe, your act of kindness will just make their day…and yours too.

THANK YOU for reading along in 2019.