Each of us is a result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary. (Pope Benedict XVI)

Dad sent me a text this morning which confused me at first. He was asking who was going to be “Mr. Irrelevant”. It was apparently a reference to the last guy chosen in the NFL Draft each year, but even though my house TV is rarely on any channel except ESPN, I was clueless. My sweet Dad was making a comparison he obviously felt was both clever and applicable. What he wanted to know was who would be this blog’s “last draft pick”, so to speak, in my “Mad for 2019” series. That was all the nudging I needed to let my freak flag show a little bit and choose…well…myself? Here’s the thing. I cannot handle the idea that some kind soul might just actually think as Dad suggested! Nope. No dice.

There are only 365 days in a year, and I still have a working list of spectacular folks I could write about but who for whatever reason did not appear yet. I may eventually do that, as the Holy Spirit moves in mysterious ways. For now, I am content to finish 2019 with a few words about the author, yours truly.

It sort of blows my mind that over 50,000 people have at one time or another stumbled across this tiny spot in the middle of the cyber mayhem this year. Here, I attempted to spend some time each day being grateful for the amazing folks in my path, and to be intentional about affirming them. It’s for the sake of these readers (I didn’t expect you all to show up) that I am going to answer a few common, personal questions I have received.

First of all, I am the wife of a handsome accountant named Tom and I spent about 10 years in corporate communications before I became a stay-at-home mom. We were high school sweethearts and this year we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. Said anniversary happens to fall on the feast of one of my all-time favorite saints, St. Therese of Lisieux. I hadn’t met Trixie yet when we got married, so I consider this happy “coincidence” a grace of our unbelievably generous God. Together, we have three sons. Our oldest, Nick, will graduate from Xavier University this spring. Drew is our Boilermaker, and like his dad, he’s studying to be an accountant. The baby, Zach, is 15 and a freshman at Guerin Catholic High School. My parents are Jim and Kathy Dykhuizen, and I have one sibling…a smarty-pants, science whiz named Robin who lives in the Chicago area.

A couple folks have expressed distress over the frequent grammatical errors in this blog. I want you to know that I am, in fact, capable of writing proper sentences– I just don’t wanna. This writing space is a place I intended as a “stream of consciousness” blog. Whatever comes into my head is what appears at my fingertips. I like to think that if you know me personally, you will hear my voice in the words. I’m simply not focused on or interested in perfectly formed paragraphs here, mostly because the imperfections are what make this an accurate and authentic reflection of me. I hope that doesn’t land as self-absorbed or narcissistic. I don’t mean to disregard the norms of the English language some of you hold quite near and dear. Maybe I’m just not your cup of tea, and that’s okay. I still sincerely thank you for the time you spent following along!

One reader emailed to tell me she can tell “the Catholic thing is a big deal to me, but she wishes I’d let it go already.” How about this? The Starbucks is on me if you haven’t met Jesus yet but you’re curious?

Let’s see. Yes, I have lost some weight this year. It’s always a compliment to tell someone they look nice, and it never occurred to me to be insulted. Lots and lots of you were worried about offending me. I’m not offended. At all. Actually, I started 2019 with cancer diagnosis, which turned out to be inaccurate (thank you, God)…and I ended the year right at 100lbs lighter. None of this story is a secret and I’d be glad to chat about it with anyone who is interested. Feel free to ask.

What else? I’m proud of myself for following through and affirming someone every day this year. It’s been a worthwhile task, one which has proven quite rewarding in ways I didn’t expect. I’ll tell you more another day. For today, it feels important to me to acknowledge that in my quirky little way, I tried to shine Christ’s light this year so some of you fellow weirdos would be reminded that you are an AMAZING child of the most high God and that you matter.

It took me a long time to get to the point that I could believe those last 14 words, and I know lots of you are still struggling with it too. Let’s work on being gentle with ourselves, huh? As I head into 2020, I’m going to try and be nice to old Shelly. I mean, yes, there are many things I’d like to improve upon. Oh goodness I’ve got a long way to go to be the holy woman our good and gracious God wants me to be. However, old me has survived and persevered through some challenging stuff. However she’s failed, she’s kind of a badass in her own crazy way. I mean, I arrived at Dec. 31, 2019 in love with the Lord and enamored and overwhelmed with gratefulness for so many blessings– including you kind people who are reading now. That’s a great place to start.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, ONE AND ALL!!

In every smile there is beauty. In every heart there is love. In every mind there is wisdom. In every human being there is a soul, there is life, there is worth, and there is the ability to see all these things in everyone, including one’s self. (Marc Chernoff)

Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ’s compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now. (St. Teresa of Avila)

My handsome husband, Tom, has this large extended family. In fact, he’s the youngest of 19 grandchildren born to Fred and Josephine Thieme. There are so many terrific human beings in that group of folks, and today is the birthday of another sharp looking, lake-loving Thieme guy– John Thieme. He’s the son of the late John and Carol Thieme of Lafayette and also like my husband, Tom’s cousin, John, is an accountant by trade.

Welcoming, amiable and kind, John is quick to offer a smile and a friendly word to all. After his beautiful wife Kathy passed away, leaving him a single dad to four young children, John met and married a lovely woman named Debbie. Together, the two of them raised 6 children in a big, faith-filled blended family where they made it their job to see to the needs of those young people. My respect for them both is immense. They are both supportive as parents and incredibly loving. Also, they are now grandparents! I’m not sure how quickly those numbers are expanding, but I suspect John will have MANY grandchildren in fairly short order. He’s pictured above with his granddaughter, Kathryn Ghazarian, who lives in California. Isn’t that just the sweetest shot of the two of them together?

There’s something about me that draws me to people who are genuine- they have a magnetic quality. To me, men like John are warriors in this world, because folks who do good because it’s the right thing to do, who are brave enough to take responsibility…those are the real badasses in my book. John is a salt of the earth sort of man. He works hard, and also knows how to laugh over a few beers. He’s authentic in every way possible and seems honestly interested when you speak to him. He’s a helper. John Thieme is a man who does and says the things he actually believes. There’s nothing showy or arrogant about John. He’s a likable man of integrity. Period. End of sentence.

Today is John’s birthday, so I just wanted to give him a little shout out. His positivity and sunny smile make the world a brighter place. I hope your day has been a great one, John, because you deserve the special treatment! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHN THIEME!

How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it. (George Elliston)

This morning as we travel to my hometown to celebrate Christmas with my side of the family, it’s impossible to miss the glorious, unseasonably warm winter day. It’s not often that it’s 61 degrees on December 26th! Nostalgia sometimes overtakes me, and I suppose that’s why I have the winters of my youth on my mind as we make the drive an hour north to Lafayette. The winter I frequently remember for it’s remarkable blizzard when I was a little girl happened in the winter of 1978. It always makes me think of my old friend, Kathy (Hunckler) Cahoon.

Goodness, that winter looked a whole lot different than today does!! That fateful day when the incredible snow storm took us all by surprise, my kind and beautiful friend Kathy had come to stay for a sleepover. She ended up staying quite a bit longer than she expected— there was no one going anywhere that week! I can’t recall exactly how we filled our time, but I remember Kathy and her famous pigtails, joyfulness and that we had a ball! She always had a wide grin and a positive attitude. In grade school at St. Lawrence, my memories of Kathy include her goodness, and also I recall her being incredibly bright!

We ended up attending Lafayette Central Catholic together, and then we kind of headed separate ways and I lost track of her a bit. In more recent years, I caught back up with her through a few conversations with her brother Paul as well as happen chance sightings at Guerin Catholic vs. LCC sporting events. For instance, we ran into Kathy tailgating at GCHS when our son was playing football for GC and her daughter was on the LCC team, and I was instantly reminded of her natural warmth and welcoming spirit! She spotted me and I was wrapped up in her big hug and greeted by her authentic, joyful smile!

I have no doubt that Kathy’s children and her husband, Chad, have a supportive, loving and truly thoughtful woman in their midst every day. It’s simply who she has always been!

Today, I find myself wanting Kathy to know that she was a special friend to me because of the way she always made me feel like I mattered. Her authenticity and generosity of spirit made a difference. I would bet it still does for everyone with whom she interacts. Kathy is just a salt of the earth sort of human who laughs easily and smiles big. Our world needs as many folks like her as we can get. Merry Christmas to you, Kathy…and to your entire family!

May we be in this world a ray of that light which shone forth from Bethlehem, bringing joy and peace to all men and women. (Pope Francis)

In my volunteer role on the Gospel of Life council at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Catholic Church, I perform all sorts of non-glamorous tasks. Most of them seem to involve logistics work— like organizing data, writing copy, or making phone calls. It was in this capacity that I first heard the name Roger Helmkamp. You see, OLMC was teaming up with nearby St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish to bring in a speaker for a couple of days to talk to folks about mindfulness. It was a joint attempt to help folks work on their mental health and anxiety issues in a meaningful way, with their faith at the center of the effort. My initial interactions revealed quickly that Roger is a friendly, good-hearted man with an excellent sense of humor. Also, he’s totally on the ball.

A few weeks later, I met Roger in person for the first time. He was present, attending to the needs of family and friends for the showing and funeral mass of my very dear friend, Karen Volpe. During a difficult and emotional couple of days, there was Roger making sure everything went off thoughtfully and without a hitch.

When I ran into this amiable, handsome guy at my nearby Kroger a few weeks ago, he went out of his way to say hello and re-introduce himself. He was out of context and it took me a moment to register his face, but it came to me quickly as he began to speak.

As I began to think this morning about who I wanted to write about today, I decided it would be fitting to write about a man who spends his days working for the rest of us, helping us on our journey to know and love the Lord a little better. I am not sure how many folks realize the hours and effort it takes to pull off Advent and Christmas in a Catholic parish. When you take the normal workload, and add to it the preparations and expectation of the season— it can be a bit overwhelming. These parish employees are the ones largely responsible to keep the boat floating. They are not getting rich doing this work either. Often, their service is overlooked or simply taken for granted. Today, I wanted to give a little shout out to one of these folks- a competent, articulate, positive thinker named Roger.

Here’s what I wanted to say to him this Christmas Eve day. Roger, you are a good man who is spending your days being the face of Jesus to others, and I’m thankful to have met you this year! What you do matters. You are that ray of light Pope Francis is encouraging us all to be, by the way you live your life. I suspect your family already knows how blessed they are to have you in their days, because you are clearly a man of integrity! Merry Christmas!!

Then give the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you. (M. Bridges)

Many moons ago, for a very brief time, I worked in the marketing department at a local home improvement company called Bee Window. It was in that role that I met a talented, articulate media sales pro named Tricia Theisen. If memory serves, we were buying Purdue sports from Learfield Communications through her.

In any case, I shared with Tricia over lunch that I was keeping my eyes out for a professional opportunity that would be a better fit for my skill set and she said, “Oh gosh! I actually have another customer that is looking for someone and I think you would be perfect! Let me make a call.”

That kindness (and providential timing) is how I ended up spending the next 10 years as the communications director for RE/MAX of Indiana. In that role, I bought media, handled public relations and a variety of others tasks. Most importantly, learned a lot and met some terrific folks— including a dear friend named Donna to whom I remain quite close all these years later. This was all the result of a simple act of selflessness by a joyful, bright woman I didn’t really even know that well yet!

I got to know Tricia better as time progressed, because she continued to call on me in my new role. I learned about her deep love and affection for her Xavier University loving husband, Greg, as well as her two young children, Kathleen and Patrick. We did a lot of talking about our kids, including their successes as well as our concerns for them. I admired and respected Tricia for the honest and authentic way she shared about her life and family. Her strong faith was clear and apparent, and she was active and involved in her parish. She was then and is now a woman of character and integrity.

If memory serves, Tricia is originally from New York (although my memory is unreliable so if I have that wrong, Tricia, I apologize)! She lives in Noblesville now and her children are grown. As her son, Patrick, struggled with his health in more recent years, I learned about his fight through mutual friends and I began praying for him. He’s a very blessed young man to have such a caring, prayerful and supportive mom. She’s sunny, positive and full of the love of the Lord— and that is EVERYTHING! I hear Pat is doing well now! Thank you, God.

My oldest son is now a senior at Xavier University. He’s loved his experience as a Muskie, and actually plans to stay in Cincy to live and work after graduation in May. It seems like a hot second ago that we were the family of an incoming freshman, gathering together at a local restaurant in Indy— being welcomed at the event by none other than my old friend Tricia and her handsome hubby, Greg. She went above and beyond the call of duty to be helpful and welcoming, because that is just who she is!

Last night as the 5 of us were watching the Muskies beat up on TCU, I marveled at how quickly time passes. This kid who wasn’t even born yet when I met Tricia is now graduating from X in a few months. What the heck!? It made me think of Tricia, and I felt gratefulness. She has been the face of Jesus to me numerous times over the years. I mean it when I say she is just a giant scoop of awesome sauce!

So today, as Christmas approaches, I wanted to take a moment to give a shout out to my old friend, Tricia Theisen. She’s someone who fills the world with sunshine. Her smile makes her eyes twinkle. She’s got a great sense of humor, and her enormous heart is absolutely impossible to miss. This crazy world is so much better because she’s here in it with us! Thank you for your witness of what it means to be a woman of compassion and character by the way you live your life each day.

Merry Christmas, Tricia…and Let’s Go X!!

The Lord looked into the depth of my being with great kindness; I thought I would die for joy under that gaze. (St. Faustina)

A bright smile, playful spirit and kind heart were always the defining qualities to me about Mary Zimmerman. She’s one of six amazing children born to my friends John and Tina Zimmerman.

Mary grew up near St. Louis de Montfort Catholic Church, in Fishers, Indiana and the parish school was part of her life too as a youngster. When she left grade school and then graduated from Bishop Chatard High School, she headed off to Dayton, Ohio where she spent a few years as a Dayton Flyer. It was no surprise to me when her mom shared with me that she decided to cheer for the Flyers at UD, because this young lady was always joyful and filled with spirit!

I’ve read it said that “a good teacher is like a candle- it consumes itself to light the way for others”, and if there’s as much truth in that sentiment as I believe, then it’s unsurprising that Mary would decide to become a teacher. I suspect that she’s an incredibly positive force in her daily work with students in her classroom. She’s one of those people for whom it comes naturally to be the face of Jesus to those around her.

I’ve watched from afar over the years as Mary lovingly supports her siblings and parents, I’ve noticed her loving up the nieces and nephews, and I even watched her crush the “summer nanny” gig back in the day. She’s a character and integrity filled woman of God with a great sense of humor and a welcoming heart. All those folks now in her daily orbit two hours away in Ohio…? I hope you know what a gem you’ve got in Mary!!

Today is Mary’s birthday and I just wanted to take a moment before Christmas excitement overtakes us all to give her a little birthday shout out! I see you over there, Mary Z! Wishing you a wonderful day and a very blessed Christmas surrounded by the many people who love you like crazy!!

Thank you for always leaving whatever place you’re in just a little better for having been there. You are a phenomenal woman with a glorious soul! Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas!! Today, I’ll be praying in a special way for you, Mary Zimmerman!

Never do the envy, jealousy and insecure stuff. Be the hustler, the well wisher, the go-getter.

Today, I’d like to introduce you to a sunny, beautiful woman named Steph Smith. She’s the wife of an ornery guy who also makes me smile. His name is Ed. I’ve spent a little time with Steph and Ed over the years because they are close friends of my parents, Jim and Kathy Dykhuizen.

Steph is a mover and shaker. No dust settles on this friendly, go-getter! She’s active on the YMCA board and helped get the new Y up and running in my hometown of Lafayette. She’s very involved in her Pickleball group and helped team with the city to get several courts constructed at McCaw Park on the east side of town. She’s a former coach at Lafayette Jeff High School, and also a counselor there. She and Ed are part of Ivy Tech in Lafayette— helping students get their education. Along with Ed’s brothers and spouses their foundation sponsors 25 graduates of Ivy Tech per year with scholarships to Purdue so they can finish their education. How cool is that?

Here’s what else I know about Steph! She’s a loving and supportive mom and grandma, as well as a tailgating rock star! A big Boiler fan, this gal knows her Purdue football and basketball too! As a friend to my mom, Steph is kind, thoughtful and caring. We all want the people we love to have lives surrounded by kind-hearted people of integrity, and Steph is certainly that.

Before she and Ed head back to Bonita Springs after Christmas, I just wanted to give her a little shout out and let her know that I see her awesomeness and think she’s a rock star! Merry Christmas to you and your whole amazing gang, Steph! Thank you for making the world a better place by the way you live your life. You’re flat out impressive.